Page 235 of Staying Selfless

I thought it was this funny fuckboy college thing he had going on, but the more I’ve gotten to know him, it’s become blatantly evident that Zanders may never fall in love. He’s got some walls up in that department. Don’t get me wrong, he loves my family like his own, and he will be the best uncle to my kids one day, but as far as loving one person the way I love my future wife and the way Trev loves his? I’m not so sure.

“How are you feeling?” Marc asks as we look into the audience.

“Nervous.”

My eyes meet with Goody’s first, the goofiest, most excited smile on his face. He’s in his second year of culinary school, and he’s become an incredible baker. I hate to admit it, but I think he has my future wife beat. I can’t wait to try the cake he made for the reception.

Next, I spot Benny and Sarah, who have been together almost as long as Logan and I have. Benny was insane in net for his senior year. He hasn’t gotten called up to the NHL yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s in his future. He’s going to play a season overseas in Europe’s pro league, hoping to get noticed, and Sarah is moving with him.

My old college mentor, Jay, made the trip back to Minnesota today. Last year, he met a girl, moved to Colorado to be with her, and is now a stepdad to her son. He’s really gotten his shit together and grown up, leaving college in his past.

“Here we go.” Marc pats my shoulder as the back door to my parent’s house opens. “Love you, man.”

“Love you, Marc.”

I take a deep breath as Cam walks out first. He’s got a shit-eating grin on his face as he walks down the aisle. He’s fucking stoked to be a bridesman. He and Logan have gotten really close over the last few years, and he’s officially her friend before mine. But he’s still my boy, nonetheless.

He’s come down to Chicago every few months over the last year to hang with Logan and me, catching a game if we’re playing in town. He’s loving working with kids, but the harsh reality of being a public-school kindergarten teacher is setting in. His paychecks aren’t what he wants them to be, and he’s looking to get out of Minnesota. I’m not sure what his next step will be.

“You look sharp,” Cam says when he reaches me, putting his hand in mine then swinging his other arm over my back.

“Right back at you, man.”

Next out is Ali, and in my peripheral view, I sense my brother stiffen beside me. He’s completely in love with the girl but won’t admit it. She’s come out to Chicago a couple of times, conveniently scheduling around when Marc is visiting, the two of them still unable to get past the awkwardness that was grad school graduation weekend.

The hand that isn’t holding her bouquet of flowers, Ali holds out in a fist for mine when she reaches me at the altar. “Maddison,” she says, a giant smile covering her lips.

“Bertoli.” I connect my fist with hers.

Ali is a wild card, but I fucking love that little New Yorker and the loyal friendship she has with my girl.

She looks up at my brother, a blush heating her cheeks before she takes her spot in front of Cam.

I fill my lungs with air, reminding myself to breathe the closer the time comes to Logan walking down the aisle to me.

Ian and Seth come stumbling out of the house. Ian may have lost his stutter, but he’s still a clumsy seven-year-old boy unless he’s on skates. He’s a little beast on skates.

It’s been hard being away from Trev, Stacey, and the boys this year, but Logan and I made a couple of trips to Minneapolis this winter so I could skate with Ian on the pond, and I fully plan on lacing them up for Seth next year as well.

Ian’s pale cheeks are as pink as they could be, all eyes on him and his little brother. He giggles as he hands Marc the rings, then races to his mom, taking a seat for the rest of the ceremony.

Suddenly the music shifts, and I know what time it is.

The audience stands as Marc puts his hand on my shoulder. And as the doors open, I completely lose my breath.

Logan and my dad stand there in the entryway, waiting for the music cue to begin her walk.

My eyes lock with my girl’s green ones, the sweetest, most knowing smile covering her lips. I can see her dimples all the way from down here, her golden skin radiating under the July sun.

And that dress. Holy hell, that dress.

White and pure, perfectly complementing her body. Simple and understated, Logan still being the star. My favorite part? Her collarbone is exposed, and I can see the delicate black ink from here. The tattoo I love so much, the one that is now inked on my body as well.

She takes one step down the aisle, and that’s when I fucking lose it.

I bite down on my lower lip to keep it from trembling, but it’s no use. I start crying like a fucking baby, the tears quickly coating my cheeks.

And Logan anticipated nothing less.

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