Page 229 of Staying Selfless

You would’ve adored him, mom.

‘Thank you for taking the responsibility of loving her enough for the two of us.

-Josie Leo’

My entire body trembles just slightly as I try to take a deep breath, but it’s shallow and cracked from the emotions that are stuck in my throat. I look up at Eli, the softest, most understanding expression covering his handsome face as he runs a gentle hand over my legs that are draped across his lap.

“You’ve done a really great job at everything she asked of you, baby.” I swipe at my cheek. “Thank you for letting me read this.”

He leans over in the space between us and softly kisses my temple, cheek, then lastly, my collarbone where my dad’s handwriting is inked.

“There’s a line that has stuck with me ever since I read it the first time,” Eli begins. “It’s the last one. ‘Thank you for taking the responsibility of loving her enough for the two of us.’”

I look down at my shaking hands, rereading that line in the green ink. It stuck out to me, too, mainly because Eli has done just that.

“You’ve been my family since the beginning, Logan, and I hope that the life we’ve built together and the family we have is enough to fill some of that void that your parents asked me to fill.”

“It has. You love me so well.” I brush a soothing palm across his cheek.

“You know how much your tattoo means to me,” he continues. “Your dad’s handwriting written for your mom but inked on you. And it’s a way that I tell you that I love you. These are all for my family,” he says, showing me his tattooed arm. “And you’re my family, so there’s a blank spot I’ve been keeping for you.”

I take a quick gasp of air, trying to compose myself.

“I thought it was only right since your parents asked me to love you enough for them, that I have a piece of them on me too.”

He lifts his shirt sleeve, showcasing his inner bicep. In delicate black lines, my dad’s handwriting right there on Eli’s body— ‘I love you,’ matching my tattoo.

“You’re my family, Logan. I love you, and I love them too. I want you to know how seriously I take that responsibility and how much I want to be every bit of the man that your mom wanted me to be for you.”

“You are,” I quickly assure him, wiping at my cheeks. “You’re everything to me.”

I run my fingers over the lines of his tattoos, just as I’ve done countless times. I’ve memorized the way they intertwine together. The rise and fall of the cursive letters of his mom’s name, Elizabeth. The heart that doesn’t quite connect at the tip, representing Mary. The Grateful Dead rose for Jack and the matching tattoo he has with Marc. But now I have another one to memorize. The one for me. For my parents. The one that tells Eli and me how much we love each other.

“It’s perfect,” I tell him. “Thank you so much. I love it. And I love you.”

Eli lets out a little chuckle as he wipes my face for me. “My tough girl has really turned into quite the softie over the last two years.”

“Well, when you keep doing romantic shit like that, what do you expect?”

“I have one more romantic thing to do today,” he says. “The reason I wanted you to wait to read that letter from your mom, and the reason that I waited to get this tattoo until today, even though I’ve been planning on it since I first read that letter, is because I wanted your parents included in this moment.”

Eli gently ushers my legs off his lap before standing. He pulls something out of his pocket, then bends down in front of me.

On one knee.

My hand instantly covers my mouth, realizing what he’s doing.

“I wasn’t able to ask your dad, but I’m going to take that letter as his permission. Your mom’s too.”

My hand is trembling uncontrollably as he peels the left one from my mouth and holds it in his grasp.

“I have loved you for as long as I’ve known you, Logan. You’ve been my rock, my constant state of peace even when my mind is pure chaos. The first time I touched you, you settled me with your presence. But you also push me to be the best version of me I can be. You’ve challenged me to be the man I want to become.”

Eli’s brown eyes begin to gloss over, so I take my right hand and cup his face, soothing him.

“You loved me at my worst. You saw the potential in me even when I didn’t. When no one else did. Before you, I was only loved because of my talent. But you love me despite it. Your strength makes me stronger, and your understanding makes me view the world differently. You’re my best friend. You know me better than I know myself sometimes. My soul was made for yours, and your heart was created for mine.”

The tears are falling down his cheeks now, so I wipe them away with the pad of my thumb.

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