Page 19 of Staying Selfless

“Well, maybe I’ll stay in. I don’t feel like drinking anyway,” Marc lies.

“You guys should go out. Seriously, I’m fine. Go have fun.” Logan forces a smile. Our friends might not notice how fake it is, but I sure do.

Marc gives her an understanding grin before he and Ali take off towards the exit. “Good luck tomorrow, EJ!” he calls out before heading into the Chicago chill.

“What are you guys going to do?” I turn to my parents.

“I don’t know about your father, but The Bachelor started this week, and I need to catch up, so wine and roses for me,” Mary says.

“Well, it sounds like I’m watching The Bachelor tonight.” My dad’s expression is less than enthused.

I pull Logan just a couple of feet away from my parents, wrapping her up in a hug. “Thank you for coming. I really needed you here.”

“Well, I owe you for everything over the last few weeks.”

“Logan, you don’t owe me anything. That’s not how this works.”

“I just feel terrible.” Her voice breaks. “I’m so sorry.”

I angle my head around to look at her face that’s hidden in my chest. Logan tries to sneakily wipe away a fallen tear, but it doesn’t work.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She shakes her head. “No. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t even keep it together for twenty-four hours,” she whispers, trying not to be heard.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, baby.” I rest my chin on the top of her head while my hands stroke the length of her back.

She tries to hide further into me, not wanting my parents to see her.

“It’s okay to cry, Logan.”

“I know, but I’m just tired of being sad all the time.” She wipes at her face.

I hold her for a few moments longer as she attempts to compose herself. “Do you want me to stay up with you?”

She shakes her head to tell me no. “I’d feel even worse if you didn’t get some rest before tomorrow. I’m okay.”

I search her face, waiting for her to take her words back. Waiting for her to tell me she wants to talk, but she doesn’t. Even if I stayed up all night with her, I’m pretty sure I would be more rejuvenated than actual sleep could ever make me.

But, more than anything, I just want her to open up to me.

I kiss her temple, her jaw, and finally, her collarbone as her cheek leans into mine. Our lips are temptingly close. They haven’t touched in almost a month, and tonight is no exception as we pull away from each other.

There’s still a noticeable distance and tension between us, and for some reason, this moment feels much more somber than it should be right now.

Logan wipes the rest of her tears before turning to face my parents with the most unconvincing smile plastered on her lips, and my dad seems to catch on right away.

“Why don’t we go chat,” he suggests.

Logan hesitates for a moment, then agrees before turning back to me. She reaches up on her toes while pulling my neck down towards her, kissing my cheek. “Good luck tomorrow.”

“Sorry, baby.” My dad turns to my stepmom. “Looks like no Bachelor for me tonight,” he adds with sarcastic disappointment.

“How convenient.”

My dad kisses Mary before swinging his arm over Logan’s sagging shoulders as they take off towards the restaurant.

“Honey, it will all work out.” Mary stands next to me.

---