Page 145 of Staying Selfless

“Baby.” Logan nudges me, snapping me out of my trance.

I rein in my green-eyed monster for a moment. “That’s fucking awesome, man,” I finally say to Zanders, throwing my arms around him before turning to the bartender once again. “We need a round of shots to celebrate.”

I do need a shot right now, less so to toast Zanders’ success and more so to use as a distraction. I know I’m a shitty friend, but I can’t help it. Zanders’ life-long dream just came true, and even with how much I’ve grown this year, it doesn’t change the fact that he just achieved the one thing I’ve wanted my entire college career. Hell, my entire life.

“You need to call someone!” Logan’s voice drips with excitement. I’m glad she is who she is because right now, I need her to carry this for us until I can get a second to breathe. “Who’s going to be your first phone call?”

“Fuck,” Zanders exhales. “I don’t know. Maybe my sister? Yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna go call my sister.” He takes off towards the back door once again.

I’m leaning up against the bar, my elbows resting on the top as my head drops down between my shoulders, the panic tingling my skin. Logan’s arms snake around my waist from behind, her cheek resting on my back.

“Are you okay?” she asks me softly, knowing me way too well.

“I’m a terrible person, Logan. I can’t even be happy for him.”

“Eli,” she says in her gentle way, her grip tightening around my waist. “That doesn’t make you a terrible person. That makes you human.”

She kisses the back of my shoulder, and that little touch soothes me the way it always does, but tonight the panic feels ten-fold as it begins to crash onto me. I don’t know what to do right now. I don’t know how to calm myself down. Not even Logan’s hold is enough to fully bring me peace.

“Can I get two shots of Bulleit and one shot of Patron?” I ask the bartender. “And could you make one of those whiskeys a double?”

“Is that double for you or for him?” Logan asks with caution.

“Me.”

Chapter 38

Logan

I couldn’t tell you how many mixed drinks, beers, and shots have been consumed between Marc, Eli, and Zanders. All I know is I stopped drinking as soon as Eli took that double-shot. I understood the roles had reversed, and I would be the one taking care of my drunk boyfriend, which is precisely what’s happening now.

“Dance with me, baby,” Eli slurs. “I want your ass grinding on my dick in those jeans.”

“Yeah, dance with him, Lo,” Zanders coaxes.

“We just got off the dance floor,” I remind them both. “I need a breather, and you need to give your ankle a break.”

The fact that Eli is the one begging me to dance with him speaks to just how much alcohol he’s consumed. The only time he’s willingly danced with me was at Gabe’s wedding, but that was to sweet slow songs. Tonight, it’s dick-to-ass, club music kind of dancing.

“Where’s your brother?”

“I don’t know.” Eli brushes me off, taking another sip of his drink.

As if dealing with my drunk boyfriend who’s throwing himself a bit of a pity party wasn’t enough, I also have my best friend I need to keep an eye on who can’t seem to stay with the same girl for more than twenty minutes. Plus, I’ve somehow become responsible for the NHL’s newest player, who, in celebration, is just as plastered as Eli.

“Number six!” Zanders hollers across the dance floor when he finds Marc and a new girl pinned up against the wall, going at it.

Marc doesn’t break their kiss as he throws his middle finger up in the air for Zanders to see, pulling a deep belly laugh from the defenseman.

“You guys are great,” Zanders says to Eli and me. “You really are. But I just got called up to the league, so I need to get laid tonight.” He heads back to the dance floor, sliding behind a cute chick who seems stoked that her ass is now grinding on his dick.

Once we’re alone, Eli pulls me by the waist, drawing me into him, his hot mouth finding mine with fervor. My lips part from the pressure and his tongue enters my mouth with lust. He pins me to the wall, grinding his lower half into me, seeming to need the friction.

I’m glad this part of the bar is dark, but still, this isn’t like him to go full force in public.

“Let’s go to the bathroom,” he pants into my ear before his lips find my neck, working their way south to my chest. “I need to fuck you.”

“Here?” I ask in surprise. It’s not that I’m opposed to a quickie in the bar’s bathroom, but I don’t know why Eli is so hungry for it right now, all of a sudden.

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