Page 119 of Staying Selfless

Her expression drops with guilt. “What was I supposed to do? Pull away and cause a scene? Everything hit me yesterday, and I’m just trying to get through this weekend without hurting his feelings.”

Once again, I shake my head in disappointment. “I’m sure Logan has already talked to you, but I’m not going to be as nice as she was. I’m over the back-and-forth bullshit.”

“Damn, a little harsh there, Maddison.”

“I don’t give a fuck. We can all see how good you and Marc are together, including yourself. What the hell is the problem?”

“The problem is,” she hesitates, dropping her head back. “I don’t want to be in a relationship. It’s as simple as that.”

“Why?”

“Because...”

“What are you not saying?” I ask with suspicion.

“Nothing.” She pulls her gaze away from mine. “I just...I’m only twenty-two, and I don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t want to regret spending this time alone.”

“And ending things with my brother, you don’t think you’ll regret that?”

“I don’t know.” Ali shrugs. “It’s just not the right time for me.”

“You can’t expect him to wait around for you.”

“No,” she sighs, her face dropping with sadness. “I don’t expect him to, but I just need to experience life on my own.”

“This is going to kill him. You know that.”

She takes a deep breath. “I know that you and Logan are it for each other, but don’t you think you feel that way because you figured out exactly who you are and what you wanted before you met her?”

“Fuck no,” I quickly state. “Even if Logan were the first girl I ever laid my eyes on, I would’ve known she was the one for me. I wish she were my only, the way I am for her. And being with her makes me the man I want to be. I couldn’t have figured that out on my own. When it’s right, you know.”

“So, what does it mean when you don’t know?”

“I don’t fucking know, Ali,” I say with frustration. “I’m new at this wise and mature bullshit. Just take what I give you.”

“You never use my first name,” she laughs.

“Yeah, well, now you know how frustrated I am with you.”

“You can’t be mad at me for this, Maddison. If I’m not ready, I’m not ready.”

“I’m not mad at you,” I plainly tell her, shaking my head. “You’ll be plenty mad at yourself after the mistake you’re about to make.”

Downing the rest of my champagne, I turn my gaze back to the dance floor. Logan and my dad are still dancing together, and she looks a little overwhelmed by whatever it is they’re talking about.

I can only hope my dad is going full in with the advice after what we talked about this morning. I can accept that Logan doesn’t want to have kids if that’s how she truly feels, or at least I’ll try my best to accept it. But if this is a fear-based decision, then that’d be more difficult to understand.

My gaze wanders to the dance floor, finding Mary and Marc dancing together. I fucking love my family. My brother means the world to me, and I just know that the girl sitting next to me is about to break his heart. I can feel it in my bones because that’s exactly what I would’ve done when I had Ali’s same mindset.

“You know what?” I grab my crutches to stand. “I was wrong. You guys aren’t good for each other. Marc deserves someone who’s all in, and that’s not you right now, so please stop leading him on.”

She nods her head guiltily. “Okay,” she says, confirming what I already knew as I hobble away from the table.

I make my way to my dad and girlfriend, mid-song.

“Baby, let’s go.” There’s an edge of panic in my voice. “Let’s go back to the cabin.”

“Is everything okay?” Both her and my dad eye me with confusion.

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