Page 18 of Becoming Selfish

“Thirteen, huh?” I question.

“Yeah, it’s my lucky number.”

My eyes widen with surprise, a shy smile covering my lips. “Mine too.”

He returns the grin while continuing to maintain his eye contact with me. His eyes are beautiful, and I find myself not wanting to go to sleep so I can continue to stare at them all night.

After a beat, he scratches his brow with his thumb, seeming nervous. “Sorry, I’ll um...I’ll turn around so you can get changed,” he says as he turns to face the wall.

It causes my smile to grow. Eli seems like such a gentleman. I don’t see the guy that I’ve heard all the stories about. He may typically be an asshole, and he not let many people close, but he hasn’t treated me in a way that would make me believe either of those things are true.

Undressing myself, leaving on only my underwear, I fold my clothes in a neat pile. He seems to keep his room tidy, and I don’t want to add any mess. I throw his shirt on to cover my naked body, and I was right; it comes down to my mid-thigh and is loose on me. I could tell Eli was a tall and muscular guy, but the size of his shirt confirms it.

“All good, thanks,” I tell him, indicating that I’ve finished changing.

He turns around, eyeing my pile of folded clothes first. Realizing that I left my bra on top, my eyes widen in embarrassment. Why did I do that? He pulls his stare from my pile of clothes to look at me. His eyes drag up my body from my legs, lingering a beat on my chest, and finally to my face. I can see his pupils dilate from here, his mouth slightly parted. Suddenly, I feel my cheeks warm.

At this moment, I become hyper-aware that I’m standing here in nothing but his T-shirt and my underwear, while tight black boxer briefs are the only thing that covers his chiseled body. I’ve never felt my body being pulled like a magnet to someone else’s before, but I’m drawn to him. I had never felt this type of attraction even towards Zac, and I’ve only known Eli for a matter of hours. My eyes widen as I gulp, remembering that this beautiful boy is my best friend’s brother. Turning my head away from him, I ignore my inappropriate thoughts as I climb into his bed, covering my body with his blankets like a shield to keep me away from him.

Chapter 15

Eli

I can’t believe she’s in my bed right now. I can’t believe I allowed anyone to be in my bed. I lie on the floor with only my pillow and blanket, doubtful that I’ll get any sleep down here, but I honestly don’t care. The thought of her wandering around campus alone in the dark is enough to make me want to sleep on the floor for the rest of the school year if it means she will be safe.

I’ve been lying here for at least thirty minutes lost in my thoughts. Usually, my mind is racing with anxiety and unanswered questions about my future, but tonight all I can think about is the girl lying in my bed. The way she looked in my shirt is like something I’ve never seen before. She looked perfect, and I can’t seem to get the image of her in my clothes out of my head, but then I’m not sure that I want to. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, it reads 3:35 in the morning, and I need to be up at 7:00 for training. I turn over and close my eyes again, hoping for at least an hour or two of sleep.

She must notice my restlessness because I hear her whisper, “Eli, are you still awake?”

I try to sit up and look at her, but my room is pitch black. “Yeah, are you okay?” I whisper back to her, hoping she’s not having trouble falling asleep.

“Yeah. I just woke up and saw you moving around, that’s all.”

I place my head back down on my pillow, relieved that she’s alright.

“You don’t have to, but you can sleep up here if you want,” she sweetly offers, continuing in a hushed voice. “I feel bad that you’re down there.”

I’ve never slept in the same bed as a girl before. I’ve never wanted someone else to witness my unrest as I toss and turn all night. I’ve never trusted someone to be vulnerable enough to sleep next to them. As I contemplate what I should do, my body begins to pull itself off the floor before my mind has fully decided.

“Are you sure?” I ask with a shaky voice, sitting up partway.

“Yes.”

I get up off the floor and grab my pillow, walking softly towards the other side of the bed, trying to be as quiet as I can, hoping that Logan can fall back to sleep quickly. Pulling the covers back slightly, I’m reminded that neither of us is wearing much. I slide into the bed, being careful not to touch her. As much as I want to feel the warmth of her body against mine, I’d rather her feel safe and comfortable with me.

I lie on my back with my head on my pillow and my eyes facing the ceiling, my arms down at my sides. Logan is sleeping on her side with her back facing me and her legs pulled up to her chest, making herself as small as possible, and I hope it’s not because she feels weird with me being next to her.

As if she could hear my thoughts, Logan rolls over and lies on her back as well. She extends her legs down and drapes her left arm over her stomach as her arm closest to me lies flat on the bed by her side. I smile to myself, sensing the ease she feels.

My mind is racing, knowing that she’s so close to me. After about ten minutes, I hear the steady rhythm of her breathing, indicating that she’s fallen back asleep. A smile creeps across my lips at the sound. I’ve never cared much about making sure someone else feels comfortable, but with this girl I met only hours ago, I want nothing more than for her to feel that way with me. I think back to what Marc said about her dealing with a lot in life already, and I want her to feel cared for. I want her to feel protected.

I keep my distance remembering Marc’s request to stay away from her, even though I can feel my body pulling itself towards hers. I stay on my side of the bed, though I can sense her hand only inches from mine. I just want to feel her and the calmness she brings me. Holding my breath, I begin to inch my hand towards hers, moving slowly not to wake her. Once our hands make contact, my pinkie just barely grazing hers, I let out a sigh, close my eyes, and instantly feel relaxed and content. So much so that I fall asleep right away.

When I wake up to my alarm only a few hours later, I look to her side of the bed and around my room, but she’s nowhere to be found. My shirt is folded and placed on the pillow that she was using, and they both smell like vanilla. I don’t know when she left, but I do know that that was the best night’s sleep that I’ve had in weeks.

Chapter 16

Logan

---