Page 166 of Becoming Selfish

“Anytime, man,” I remind him, giving him another hug.

“Be good,” Stacey tells me. “Logan, it was so great to meet you.” She wraps Logan up in her embrace. Well, as much as she can. She has a big round belly in the way.

“You too. I’m looking forward to meeting him,” Logan adds, motioning towards Stacey’s belly.

“Maddison.” I bend down to Ian’s eye level again. “Let’s skate soon?” I ask, holding my fist out for him.

He quickly nods and pounds his fist with mine.

“Bye, Maddison. It was nice to meet you,” my sweet girl says to him.

Ian doesn’t respond but instead tilts his head and shoots her his flirtiest smile, causing me to roll my eyes.

Little shit.

I watch as Trev and his family walk out of the tunnel together. I’m so appreciative of those three, especially Trev. I might not be here, still playing hockey, without his friendship and listening ear.

“You’re so good with him,” Logan says as I swing my arm around her shoulders, walking out of the tunnel and back to her dorm together.

“He’s easy.”

“Do you want kids?” she casually asks as we walk together.

I knew this question was coming. I knew that as soon as Logan saw us together, her mind would go there. But to be honest, I’ve been thinking about it a weird amount, too, so the question doesn’t freak me out at all.

“Yeah, of course,” I tell her. “One day.”

She nods her head but stays silent.

“How many kids do you want?” I ask.

Even though this would typically be a heavy topic this early on in a relationship, Logan and I are different. There’s nothing scary about thinking of my future with her. Not to mention she is going to make the best mom.

“I don’t want kids,” she says, keeping her eyes straight ahead and averted from mine.

“What?” I ask with a laugh. “Of course, you do.”

“No, Eli.” She turns to look at me. “I don’t.”

“Wait, really?” I stop in my tracks. “But don’t all women want babies and shit?”

She gives me a shrug. “Not me.”

“Why not?” I ask, taken aback and much more flustered than a twenty-two-year-old who doesn’t want kids for a long time should be.

She lets out a heavy sigh. “Honestly, baby, after everything with my parents, especially my mom, the idea of having to take care of someone else again sounds terrifying.”

I look at her in utter confusion. “But, it would be different with your own kids,” I say, apparently trying to convince her.

Logan has to be a mom. She would be the world’s greatest mom. And not just the mom that you buy the ‘world’s greatest mom’ mug for. No, I mean the actual greatest mom in the world. She is the kindest, sweetest, most loving, and selfless person I’ve ever met.

Our kids would be lucky to have her.

Fuck. That’s not what I meant.

Okay, maybe that’s what I meant. I shouldn’t even be thinking about these things right now, but I can’t help but assume that if Logan doesn’t have kids, that means I won’t have kids because I’m pretty sure Logan is it for me. No, I know Logan is it for me, and I want my kids to be half of her. Frankly, I want them to be all of her, but that’s not how it works.

Most twenty-two-year-old guys would be loving the fact that their girl isn’t pressuring them for marriage and kids, but apparently, that’s not the case for me. How is she the one who needs convincing?

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