Page 123 of Becoming Selfish

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Marc snap his head in my direction. “Shit, man. What team?” he asks in reference to the NHL team I have no shot of getting a call from.

“Dallas.”

“Fuck. That would’ve been a good fit for you too.”

“Tell me about it,” I say sarcastically.

“It’ll work out. You’re too good not to make it, man. Anyone can have an off day and we still have Senior Showcase coming up.”

Marc is right. Even though Thursday was a huge shot at getting some attention from a team whose offensive system would’ve worked well with my strengths, the biggest opportunity I’m going to have is at Senior Showcase in Chicago. Every NHL team sends their scouts to watch the weekend of play between the country’s top seniors, and I need to impress.

“You’re going to bring Logan, right?” Marc asks.

“I haven’t brought it up yet, but I’m assuming she will come.” As long as I don’t do something else to fuck up my relationship before then.

Marc and I continue to watch the game without saying another word, and after the first quarter, Auburn is up 10-7, but I haven’t paid much attention to the game. All I can think about is Logan. What else is new? But, right now, I’m just worried I took it too far last night. She didn’t hold my hand, she didn’t want me to cuddle with her as she took a nap, and she didn’t even kiss me before she went upstairs. I know she’s off, but I don’t know how to fix it. I’m trying to listen to Marc’s advice and give her the space she needs until she’s ready to come to me, but it’s really fucking hard to keep myself on this couch when I know Logan is right upstairs.

As if she could hear my concerns, Logan comes shuffling into the living room, looking all cute and sleepy, with the same blanket from earlier wrapped around her. She finds her way to my side of the couch before she climbs on top of me and lays her head on my chest.

“Couldn’t sleep,” is all she says as she makes herself comfortable, snuggling into my body.

The smile on my lips grows as I wrap my arms around her back, my entire body relaxing from having her here with me. She soothes my concern, without even realizing, by wanting me near her so that she can rest.

I kiss the top of her head as she finds the right position to fall asleep, and I remember once again that I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. I stroke her back with my fingertips until I hear her breathing steady, telling me that she’s fast asleep in my arms.

I look over to Marc, who gives me a knowing grin because, of course, he was right. He knows both Logan and I way too well, but man, am I thankful for it.

Chapter 64

Logan

“Babe, these are so good,” Eli tells me from the couch.

“Yeah, Logan. Don’t tell my mom, but I think yours are better than hers,” Marc adds, regarding the peanut butter cookies I baked.

Eli insisted on cooking us all dinner, so I thought I would pitch in with dessert. He obviously feels terrible about how he treated everyone yesterday, so he’s trying to apologize through our stomachs, which I would say is totally working. He made baked potatoes, grilled veggies and salad for dinner. Plus, he cooked steaks for us outside on the grill. They were delicious and perfectly medium-rare. Add being an excellent chef to the list of things that Eli is annoyingly talented at.

I feel better tonight than I did last night. It took me a little bit to warm up again, but it’s hard for me to stay upset at Eli for long. I can tell how bad he feels, and he’s been trying to make it up to me all day. He wouldn’t let me help with anything for dinner, including doing the dishes. When I worked out this afternoon, after my nap, he brought me a water partway through, then came back with a towel ten minutes later. I couldn’t help but laugh when I caught him walking by the window and glancing inside the gym every few minutes after that.

I’m trying to put him out of his misery by touching him as much as possible because I’ve learned that’s how he feels reassured. But I can tell Eli is still beating himself up over last night.

“Glad you guys like them. It’s my mom’s recipe.” I put the rest of the warm cookies on the coffee table in front of the couch.

I take a seat on Eli’s lap, and he visibly relaxes from the contact. He wraps one arm tightly around my waist and uses the other to bring another cookie to his mouth.

“What do you guys do around here for Halloween?” Ali asks from her seat on the floor. “We’re definitely doing something. It’s my favorite holiday, so I’ll throw my own damn party if I have to.”

“Oh, no. There’s a party. Biggest party of the year is Halloween weekend at the hockey house,” Marc adds as he looks to his brother. Eli’s body tenses below me.

“Perfect. We’re going, right?” Ali questions, looking around at the three of us, but both the boys’ eyes land on me.

“What?” I ask, not knowing why they’re looking to me for an answer.

“We don’t have to go. I have to make a brief appearance, but I can leave after I do,” Eli tells me, trying to sound reassuring.

“That’s ridiculous. Why wouldn’t we go?”

“Well, you’re not really into parties, so I just assumed—”

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