Page 1 of Becoming Selfish

Prologue

Logan

I may have had one too many cups of coffee. My heart feels like it’s beating out of my chest, but I’m going to assume it’s due to the caffeine intake and not because I just saw a sign that said Minneapolis is only twenty miles away. I was too anxious to stop at a hotel and sleep last night, but now I wish I had. It would have given me about eight more hours to try to calm my nerves.

What am I doing? I’ve never even been in the snow before. What made me think I could handle living in it? I guess we’ll cross that bridge when winter hits in a few months.

The drive hasn’t been too bad, and I had fun mapping it out from California. I stopped as often as I could, taking in some of the most beautiful parts of the country. I’ve never been able to travel much before, and now all I want to do is see new places. After I got my first taste of travel during my study abroad last semester, I haven’t stopped thinking about all the cities I want to visit.

Last semester was the most fun I’ve ever had, and the freest I’ve ever felt. It was a weird time in my life, and I was working through a lot of grief, but going abroad was exactly what I needed. I even met my best friend when I was in Spain. You know, when you meet someone and you just get a feeling that they’re going to be in your life forever? Well, I’ve never had that feeling before, but that’s precisely how I felt when I met Marc. He helped pull me out of my misery and made sure I lived my life to the fullest while I was overseas.

It was the first week of classes abroad, and I was overwhelmed. The whole idea of doing a semester in Spain was such a last-minute decision for me. I’d never even been out of California before, let alone the country. It was the middle of the night, and I couldn’t sleep, mostly due to jet lag, partly due to nerves. I’d gone downstairs to the shared living room, hoping to catch part of a basketball game on TV. Since the time difference was so drastic, I hadn’t been able to watch any NBA games since I got there. I was trying to be as quiet as possible since it was three o’clock in the morning, but much to my surprise, someone was already sitting on the couch watching the exact game I was coming to see.

We sat on the same couch in awkward silence for a few minutes, both watching the game. I didn’t want to stare at the stranger, but I was curious what the guy next to me looked like. His skin was a deep tan, and his hair was jet black. He seemed comfortable leaning back on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table, but he also looked confident. I sat there stiffly on the edge of the couch with my hands tucked under my legs. I didn’t feel scared that I was alone in a dark room with a strange man in a different county. He didn’t give off that vibe. In fact, I instantly felt more comfortable around him than most people I know, and he hadn’t even said a single word to me yet.

As if he could hear my thoughts, he said, “Honestly, how does Harden get away with that many steps every time? How is that not a travel?”

Just like that, I knew I liked this stranger already because I had that same thought every time I watched the Rockets play. Without taking my eyes off the TV, I added, “Not only that, but he also draws a foul every time.”

The tan boy gave a little chuckle under his breath, and turned to me. “Hey, I’m Marcus,” he said while reaching out his hand for me to shake.

“Logan.” I returned his handshake.

“Logan. That’s a cool name for a girl. Where are you from?”

“California. You?” I detected a bit of a mid-western accent.

“Minnesota. So, I take it you’re a basketball fan,” he assumed while pointing towards the TV. “Do you have a team?”

“Not really. I’m just a fan of the sport in general.”

He nodded his head and sighed in defeat as the Rockets drew another foul on the screen.

The Kings were playing as well. Judging by the look on his face, paired with the fact that they were already twenty points down, I assumed that was his team.

“King’s fan?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “It’s rough. They had this amazing team when I was growing up, so they tricked me into becoming invested in them, but they’ve sucked ever since.”

I gave him a knowing smile. “Oh yeah. I remember White Chocolate and Chris Webber.”

His face was plastered with shock and surprise. “Who the hell are you?” He laughed.

I leaned back on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table, realizing I had never felt so at ease around a stranger before. We continued to watch the game, every once in a while complaining about a bad call, but we mostly sat in comfortable silence. It was almost five o’clock in the morning when the game ended and we headed back to our dorms, but I kept thinking about the stranger walking next to me and about how I had hoped we could hang out again. I had a hard time trusting people or letting many people into my life, so the next thing I said surprised even me.

Once I reached the girls’ wing, I turned his way. “Hey, Marcus. Would you want to be friends?”

He chuckled and replied with a simple, “I thought we already were?”

I shot him a grateful smile before heading down the hall when I heard, “Hey, Logan...” I turned back to face him. “You can call me Marc. That’s what my friends call me. You know, since we’re friends now.”

He was giving me shit already. It made me feel a little better since I kind of felt like an idiot for asking him to be my friend like I was a kid on the playground in preschool. I smiled at him but also rolled my eyes, so he knew that I knew he was giving me a hard time. He returned a knowing grin and headed down the boys’ hall.

I remember lying in bed that night and feeling hopeful that I just met someone who would be a friend to me while I was in Spain.

And I was right.

Marc and I spent every day together that semester. We did our school work together, we explored the city together, and we would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to catch as many NBA games as possible. Our relationship wasn’t like that of siblings, but it was platonic, and there was never a question about that. I’d never had this close of a friendship with a guy before, but it almost didn’t matter that he was a guy.

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