Page 96 of I Love My Mistake

NICOLE

Chapter Forty-Three

FUCK.

Without warning I shove him away from me, hard. Both of us struggling to catch our breath, we stare at each other,

“Let’s get out of here,” Michael grunts. Without waiting for an answer, he turns and hails a cab. “Taxi!”

My head turns. I can feel them watching us. I lock eyes with Amber, then Jess. They’re watching from where they stand in front of Ella’s door. They’re not happy. Who cares? They both have someone. I get to try, don’t I?

This is all I have.

“C’mon,” Michael roughly takes my hand. He throws a look in the direction of my glance and sees my girls staring at him. “C’mon,” he says again. I hold their looks as Michael impatiently guides me into the car like he’s afraid they’ll stop us. Like we have to hurry or it’ll be too late and this chance will have passed him forever. I break eye contact with Jess as I climb into the back seat. Michael closes the door and goes around to get in the other side. He slides in and tells the driver the address of his studio. My heart twists at the familiar numbers, numbers that used to fuel my obsession. The cab jerks forward and my body sways. We drive by Amber and Jess, but I don’t look at them. I dip my head away and into the nook of his arm.

Some men smell good. Michael smells like sex. I breathe him in deeply. After all this time, we’re finally going to have sex. I close my eyes to defend myself against the barrage of guilt, confusion and shame. My heart is beating so fast, it’s hurting. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this.

Why do I have to keep telling myself that…

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