Page 8 of Lying Hearts

Chapter Five

Brendan

My first party as a single man. Freshly showered. Heart: pumping hard with excitement and a little anxiety. The world is whatever I make it. So why am I nervous?

Mark and I had a couple beers at Tommy’s place before the three of us got here. They laughed when I told them I chucked a bunch of her shit out the third floor window. Most of it has already been swiped up by scavengers who are aware of who Marc Jacobs is. Neither Mark nor Tommy would fall into that category. I’m trying to forget, myself.

Walking up the stairs to a pink and blue Victorian duplex off Mission Street, exactly the kind of funky-colored building this city is known for, I succumb to curiosity and ask them, “You guys have probably banged half of State, am I right?” I’m trying to sound tough, like I know what I’m asking is obviously true and I’m just making conversation. I’m hoping I don’t sound as out of the loop and inexperienced as I think I do. For all four years during college, I’ve been on the outside. Sara and I were enmeshed. We were at each other’s sides all the time. I rarely went out with ‘just the guys’ because she accurately believed Mark to be a womanizer. And Tommy? Tommy, she despised. That may be why he’s not my favorite person. She made me see things I would normally not have given two shits about. We guys forgive a lot in each other. It’s only when a girl we love opens our eyes by showing us what she sees, do we see the truth of our friend’s behavior. And once you see it? You can’t unsee it. She’s right about him. Tommy doesn’t show women a modicum of respect when they’re not around.

Mark laughs at my question. He’s enjoying my newbie-ness with far too much amusement. I’m sure I seem like a total dork, but I’m doing my best. Tommy throws me a secret grin as he puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it. “Can’t even remember their names.”

“That’s because you’re a dick, Tommy.” Mark says, flicking him on the back of the head. He looks at me with the self-confidence of five men. “I remember all of them. Every single naked, sweet tasting, sweet-smelling one of them. Memorizing the details is part of the fun.”

Tommy laughs and plugs his nose. “Except for Hilde. Yowza. We both hit that. And we’re both sorry for it, hey Mark?”

Mark says nothing, not even with his face. He just ignores Tommy and looks around the party like he didn’t hear him, which I respect him for. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Mark bad-mouth anyone, certainly not a woman. But still, my eyebrows go up as I watch their backs paving the way through the crowd. Tommy smiles and whispers into a chick’s ear as he passes her. I can’t be sure if they know each other, or if he just planted the seed for later conversation. Staring at him, I wonder, how can you forget a girl’s name once you’ve slept with her? The idea is about as foreign to me as giving up red meat. But unlike veganism, I’ll give it a try. I’m looking forward to becoming that emancipated from my heart that all the sex becomes a blur. Sounds like heaven. I’m in. I’ve signed the contract and I can’t wait to play the game.

Mark sees the booze-table in a far away corner. He gestures to us with a chin-jerk to follow him. We nod and work our way toward it while Tommy looks over his shoulder and says, “Mark tells me you went away on your own last weekend when we were in Hawaii.” He knows I was supposed to be in New York with Sara – that’s why I didn’t go to the islands. He’s doing me a solid by not mentioning her.

I relax a little and smile. “Yeah. Went to Mendocino. Ever been?”

“Nah. Never even heard of it ‘til you just said it.” Then I see the mocking smile he’s so known for, the one Sara always pointed out. “Was it beautiful?”

“The cougar I banged was.” I blurted that out a little too fast. But his admiration is worth it. Almost as much as his silence.

His eyes light up. “Way to fucking go, man!”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Truth is, I shouldn’t call Rebecca a cougar. She’s not old enough to be one and by no way did she have that trashy, fake boob, tight clothes around an aging body look. But I remind myself to toughen up. Women don’t show us respect, so why should we show them it? But still, fuck Tommy for making me say it. I make a mental note to not fall victim to my pride again. Tommy’s a necessary evil. He’s not going anywhere. He was here before me, and the girls think he’s funny so I guess he has his merits. He comes with the package of my new life, so I’d better get over the way he grates on my nerves.

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