Page 49 of Reaching Hearts

“Or what? You’ll walk in on me with his dick inside me?”

Brendan’s eyes steel. “Nice. Very classy. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You are meaning to hurt me. There’s a difference.”

“I can’t hurt someone who doesn’t care.” I swing open the door and leave.

“I do care!” he yells, the sound muffled through the door.

Stopping, I try to catch my breath, my vision spiraling red. I should keep walking. I won’t get what I want, here. But against everything my mind is screaming, my heart can’t help but turn my feet around. I open the door and look at him, tears falling down my cheeks. “Then stop me. Tell me not to go.”

He glares at me from his bed, his legs drawn up and his wrists on his knees. Was he about to get up and come after me?

“I don’t play games!”

“I deserve better than this, Brendan. You know I do.”

“You think Tommy can give that to you? I won’t let you do it. I’m going to call him and tell him not to see you. I mean it. Whatever you’re planning, it’s off.”

Through pained laugher, I wipe the wetness from my cheeks. “Did you ever see a future with us?”

In his eyes is a torrent of resistance, but he manages to say, “I did, yes. But not the future society sees. Something different. I don’t know.” He blinks, and for the first time I see the hurt. It draws me forward. I walk closer and look into his eyes, leaning down to kiss him. His lips open and he responds, reaching up his left hand to hold my head and press me closer to him. But then he stops and pulls back, releases me. I straighten up, looking at him, openly crying as he looks at me.

“You can’t even kiss me anymore. You’ve fallen in love. And what’s sad is you can’t admit it.”

His eyes flash and I leave, my heels clicking me away from him beneath unsteady ankles and weakened knees. Outside in the corridor, I wait for him to call my name. To stop me. To ask me to forgive him. Something. Anything.

When I get to the elevator, I realize it’s never going to happen. And I push the button… going down.

---