Page 25 of Tangling Hearts

Chapter Sixteen

Rebecca

Nerves: shot. Mind: planning. All I Need: coffee.

Turning toward Folsom, I picture the cup of morning glory in my hand, how the heat will warm my fingers, how I’ll blow on the tasty liquid to cool it down, how I’ll close my eyes when it slides down my throat. Mmmmmm… so good. The thought alone is good enough to pull forth a relaxed smile from my bottomless pit of discontent, which is a miracle in and of itself. Which means: coffee = miracle.

Approaching 24th Street, I find a great parking spot, really close to Philz. Putting the car in park and sliding out my keys, I open the door, and start for the crosswalk, looking up at the lights to see which is red or green. Given the go, I head for Philz, my eyes on the sign above that reads Best Handmade Coffee rated by SF Weekly, framed by a bright green storefront, with people sitting on the wood bench to the right. I smile at them and walk into the cozy, casual space that looks like it could double for a youth hostel; mismatched chairs, blue ceiling, mixture of framed art and posters, a couch in front of the windows that’s probably always got people vying to sit there before anyone else takes it. The line is long today and I look around the few people standing in front of me, in order to gauge how long this might take.

My hearts stops beating.

I see Brendan’s profile looking down at a woman with strawberry blonde hair – HER. She turns her head and he kisses her, the light in his eyes bright, different, happy. A hollow feeling grows in my chest like someone’s filling a water balloon inside me, the heaviness of gravity taking it down as it expands. In slow motion I’m trying to breathe as he bends and whispers something into her ear. She lays the side of her head on his arm, and I take a step to my right so I can see better. They’re holding hands, and the balloon bursts inside me, the painful water spilling into all of my limbs.

Turn around, Rebecca.

Walk away.

The one person who was in front of them pays the cashier and steps aside to wait for their order, leaving Brendan and HER to step forward. Over the music and conversations, I can’t hear him, but I watch his lips move as he orders an Americano – what he always orders. Only I’m the one normally with him. He turns to look at HER as she orders from the cashier.

I watch him, and see something that takes away the last bit of hope I have in me. I can’t deny it anymore to myself that this is ever going to happen with him and me. I guess I always knew it would end.

That light that people have in them when they’re in love, it’s all over him. As she touches the light-colored wood counter, head tilted up to look at the chalkboard menu above, his hand is on her back. Every time she moves, he’s touching her with an intimacy and an ownership that I never experienced with him. And his eyes are filled with it.

But he doesn’t know she’s a liar.

Well, he’s about to find out.

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