“We all want to go bareback, right? It threw me, yes. But it’s really okay. I just want to make sure we have enough time. I’ll be right back.” With my best reassuring smile, I turn and walk out the door, shutting it behind me so I can have a moment alone to handle my feelings. Loving someone who wants to see other people takes a great deal of patience, and I can only hope I’m up for the task.
As I walk into the living room, everything is very still and quiet. I can’t even hear the hum of a refrigerator. I guess Mark must have gone to work. Walking up to the coffee table, I find our wrappers and take-out bags are gone. He must have cleaned the mess for us. That was considerate of him. I look towards the upstairs floor, thinking of how I underestimated Mark. I wonder if Tommy and Ross were nicer than I thought back then, too? God, I can still see the four of them walking across campus; Reservoir Hunks. Inaccessible to a misfit like me. And here I am now, wearing his robe and walking around their penthouse. I wish I could go back in time and tell my old self how things played out. Where’s a time machine when you need one?
Pulling out my phone, I see another missed call from Christiano. Guilt sinks my heart, bringing my body with it collapsing onto the couch, staring at his name. I can’t call him now. Not only is Brendan in the other room, but it’s just after 10:00 a.m. I have to leave now.
Sigh.
I walk into the bedroom, the phone hanging from my hand, my spirits sunk. “Bad news. I have to go. It’s ten o’clock.”
Brendan frowns and rises up on his elbows, wincing as his ribs bend. He adjusts for comfort. “What time are you supposed to meet him?”
“Eleven.” Walking to him, I smile regretfully. “I’m sorry I don’t have more time. Me thinks I need a shower, to be presentable. And a change of clothes. I didn’t expect to be whisked off to your palace, my king,” I smile.
He pushes off the blanket. “I want to go.”
“Oh.” I step back to give him room to get up, shocked. “Okay.” He didn’t ask if I wanthim to go, which is good. I think jumping up and down and shouting YES, would have stripped away the last bit of mystery I have left.
“Just give me a minute.” He vanishes into the closet.
A few minutes later, he’s locking up and I’m following him to the elevator. He pushes the button. “Last night and today? They’re the first times I’ve taken the elevator since we moved in.”
“You take the stairs every time? Wow. I don’t know if I have that kind of discipline.”
“You’re taking a Krav Maga class.”
“True.” I smile, and turn my head to watch the numbers go down. I can feel him looking at me, so I glance sideways. “What?”
One corner of his sexy mouth is turned up and his eyes are soft. “You’re beautiful, Annie. You’ve got no makeup on. No lipstick. Your hair’s messy, and---” He shrugs and smiles, turning to watch the buttons light ‘L’ for Lobby. “---you’re beautiful.” The doors open. “After you, Freckles.”
A blush heats up my cheeks and neck as I walk out first. A flash of the party where I got wasted and Corinne got Brendan flies instantly into my mind. The way he looked over at me today and overlooked me then, it makes me a little angry. Walking to my car, I sneak a glance behind me to him, and he is unburdened by conflict, oblivious to how weird this all really is.
We get in the car and drive to my place, without saying much. He doesn’t seem to mind that I’m speechless. He’s looking out the window at the city zipping by, tapping his thumb on his thigh in time to the music, unaware that I’m wondering why things had to happen this way, because really… was I that undesirable just because my hair was dyed and I wore more makeup? Isn’t your soul mate supposed to recognize you? Or is it really timing that’s the key? Is it all these things put together? Why did I know, when I saw him? Is there even such a thing as soul mates, or is that just a product of people’s desire to think their perfect half exists, and if they find…
“Hey.” I glance over. “Stop trying to figure it out.”
I turn left into my tandem parking spot, shift the gear into park, and shove the emergency brake to the floor, mandatory with these crazy hills in the city. Turning the key, the engine dies off and I turn in my seat to ask, “How did you know?”
“I just knew.” He’s already onto different things, his attention grabbed by seeing my home for the first time. He gets out of the car, looking up at the building. “This is a nice place.”
I climb out and lock the doors, watching him as I’m thinking, Annie, don’t sabotage this. Why are you getting worked up over something that happened years ago?
“Thanks. I like it.” I lead the way up the Victorian building’s steps to the first apartment. “Let me give you the five second tour. Five seconds because that’s all it will take.”
He ignores my deprecating joke and follows me around, offering appreciative comments on the bay window and my comfy décor as he takes it all in. Since he’s being so nice, I tell him about some great finds I foraged from yard sales and antique shops, adding details and fun stories as we walk. It’s modest compared to his place, but I’m proud of it. “It’s my first place of my own,” I smile, nowhere left to go.
“I like it. It’s very you. And it’s more comfortable than my place.”
“No way.”
“It is. You’re right. Mine’s too big.”
“No such thing.”
He laughs. “You lived with your ex before you moved in here?”
I stop smiling and look to a fingernail. “Oh. Yes… I did.”
He says nothing more on the subject, but the air is heavier than it was. He turns and walks to my bookshelves, picking up what he thinks is the statue of a skull. “This is interesting.”