Page 54 of Tangling Hearts

Chapter Thirty-Six

Annie

Staring: at my door. Wishing: I’d had something to drink before I came home. Shoulders: carrying too much weight for any woman’s good.

It’s strange to be knocking on your own door. If I didn’t know Christiano well, I’d be afraid he wouldn’t be here. But I do know him. I know him better than I know any man.

When he opens it, he looks taller than he did when he arrived. I think it’s because his confidence is back, or his resignation. Either way, something has changed him and it must have been big. I want to ask him what it was, but fear of falling into an endless pit of arguments again, stops me. The air is clean between us, lighter. It’s like it was years ago when we didn’t need something more than the other person could give.

I smile, looking up at him with my heart open and sad that I might not see him again after tonight. “Hi. Can I come in?”

“Welcome to your new home,” he smiles. I go into his opened arms for a hug, squeezing him tightly, pressing my head into his chest. I feel a kiss on the top of my head and he whispers my name.

“I’m going to miss you so much!” I choke. “What am I going to do without you?”

He rocks me like a father would, and whispers, his voice filled with pride and pain, “You’re going to fly, little bird.”

Whimpering, I shake my head and tighten my arms as hard as I can around him. He picks me up and carries me into the bedroom where he takes off my clothes. I let him peel them off me, expecting him to remove everything, but my panties he leaves on. I watch him, slow tears gently falling down my cheeks as he disrobes and folds his clothes into a pile.

If he tried to make love to me, I would let him.

There’s a part of me that wants that kind of goodbye, even though the other part says I belong to Brendan now. In his white boxer-briefs, he climbs into bed. He pulls me in for an embrace and reaches to pull up the covers over our bodies. I tilt my head up and kiss his lips once, but he doesn’t touch his tongue to mine. The kiss is chaste and sweet, our lips pressed together for the last time. Searching my eyes, he says, “When you wake in the morning, I will be gone.”

A tear aches out of my heart. “Oh my God.”

“I found a flight in the early morning. I have set the alarm, but I do not think I will sleep tonight.”

I nod, eyes blurred. “I won’t either!”

“Do not cry, Bella. I love you.”

“I love you, too! I won’t go to sleep either. I’ll just lie here with you like this.” I burrow my face into the nook of his strong neck and close my eyes. “If I fall asleep, wake me before you leave.”

“No. I will not. It will be too hard,” he whispers into my hair.

I shake my head and burrow deeper into him. “Thank you for loving me.”

“I will always love you. Always.”

We stay like this for a long time, his fingers gently caressing my skin. I try my best to stay awake, but I’m very tired from so much loss in so little time, and I fail.

When I wake up, it’s after nine o’clock in the morning.

I sit up quickly and look around. His folded clothes are gone. As is his suitcase.

“Christiano!” But he doesn’t answer. There is only silence. He kept his word.

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