Page 8 of F*ck You

“Right. Well, I’ll see you around.” He walked off in the direction of his home, and I took a moment to admire him from the back. He must have worked out, because nobody had a butt like that from just sitting around.

I turned to head inside and saw a girl in a hot pink bikini staring at me. Her French manicured fingers held an expensive pair of sunglasses at the tip of her nose as she glared over them at me, her mouth agape and her lips curled into a look of utmost disgust. If she lived around here too, then she was going to be a lovely little glittering bug splatter on my quest to drunkenness.

Removing my arm from my chest so I could flip her off, I turned around to head back inside, but my face rammed into the hardwood door instead.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” The door must have locked behind me. Did I flip something when I ran out? Fuck.

I pressed my nose against the glass window and saw, right there on the counter, the only key in existence. So close, yet so far away.

Rubbing at the bridge of my nose to ease the increasing pain, I tried to think of my options. My phone was upstairs in the top drawer of the dresser, not that I could call anyone anyway since I hadn’t programmed the numbers into my phone that Miss Morris had left. I was alone in this place. I didn’t know anyone at all, except two guys I only just met today, plus the nearby chick I didn’t give the best first impression to.

“Shit.” Looked like my only option was to go find one of them and hope they could help me break into my own home.

Taking a large drink of rum to curb my annoyance with my life, I headed off in the direction I’d seen…what was his name again? I should really pay more attention.

With an arm covering my boobs to keep them from swinging into my face, I caught up with him right as he was climbing the steps to the front door of what I assumed was his own condo. He turned and looked at me and immediately began glowing red all over again.

“Hey, so, I seem to have locked myself out, and I don’t have anything to break inside with. Do you think maybe you could…”

He chuckled and beckoned me forward. “Yeah, I can help you. I can give you a shirt, too, before someone calls the cops.”

With a sigh of relief, I followed him inside and waited by the door while he disappeared down the hall.

The setup of his condo looked pretty similar to mine, other than the bottom floor being pretty much flipped. Through a door that was slightly ajar, I could see there was a bedroom downstairs too, unlike mine. His looked to probably be a slightly larger version of mine. I wondered if he lived here alone.

The one I was renting was still better though, solely on the grounds that it was mine. At least, for two months it was.

“Here you go, this should do it.” He reappeared in front of me and held out a shirt.

Snatching the fabric with one hand, I maneuvered it over my body, being careful not to lose my rum. This bottle was coconut flavored, after all.

The shirt fell to mid-thigh on me, and I had to admit it felt good to no longer be flashing the entire world. Running around the beach naked was a little different than just sitting on the couch. “It fits.”

He chuckled and held up a wire hanger and a toolbox. “Let’s get to work.”

We walked back to my place, and I noticed the pink bikini girl glaring at us. She was standing a few feet from where I saw her not long ago, sipping the straw of her drink, her eyes following our every step as we walked. It was creepy as hell, and I flipped her off a second time when the guy was looking in a different direction. I saw her roll her eyes, and I grinned.

Sweat drippeddown my body as I stood outside, waiting for this guy to get me into my home. He used various tools while maneuvering the metal hanger around the edges of the window, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth in his concentration. A strand of sandy blond hair fell into his eyes, and I fought the urge to brush it back for him. It was actually kind of cute, and I caught myself staring a few times. Luckily, he was too busy focusing to notice.

First thing I would need to do was get a spare key because this was insane. Why the hell didn’t the previous owners have a spare key? Who in their right minds refused to own a spare key to their home?

People who don’t lock themselves out, that’s who, I thought to myself, and then was snapped out of my negative thoughts when I heard the distinctive click.

“Yesssssss!” I cheered when the window popped open, and I could feel the cool air from the A/C blowing out. I sighed. It felt so good, and I couldn’t wait to flop onto the cool linoleum floor and let the air soothe my heated skin.

I rushed forward as the man stepped back, making room for me to crawl through. My hands were on the window frame with one foot paused in midair when I remembered he was still there, and I was about to completely ditch him. Without him, I’d still be wandering around trying to find help. Although I wouldn’t have been locked out in the first place if he hadn’t been creeping in my windows. I turned my head sideways to try and see him.

“Thank you, uh…” My words trailed off as it became evident I never bothered to remember his name.

“Larsen,” he supplied with a grin. “My name is Larsen. Do you need any more help?”

“I think I’m good.” To prove my point, I hopped up and crouched in the tiny window space, flashing my ass for a second before jumping to the floor. The wooden floorboards were cool beneath my feet, and I realized exactly how hot the sand really was. At the rate I kept burning them, I was going to end up permanently walking around in shoes laced with ice packs.

Turning, I saw him wipe a smirk from his face. “Thank you for your assistance, Larsen.” There, hopefully now I wouldn’t forget his name. Even more importantly, hopefully I wouldn’t need any more assistance. Because locking my naked ass out of my home wasn’t something I wanted a repeat of.

“It was nice to meet you, Natalee. I’ll be seeing you around.” He dipped his head forward, picked up his tools, and started walking away.

I checked out his butt for a second time, flipped off the chick in the pink bikini for the third time for her continued look of disapproval, shut the window, and made my way to the kitchen.

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