Page 78 of F*ck You

26

Lee

My heart thudded in my chest as my feet pounded the sand. I poured out all my concerns, insecurities, and doubts as I sweat my way across the beach. The morning breeze cooled my forehead as I ran against it, keeping an eye out to avoid stepping on washed up starfish and sand dollars. I’d seen one starfish that was recently washed up and struggling to survive, and I tossed it back into the waves to hopefully be carried back out again.

It was funny. My first night here, I would have thought they were crazy if someone told me I’d be up before the sun to willingly go on an early morning run.

Now, I preferred to be a part of the magic of watching the Earth wake up and come alive.

Reaching the pier, I turned around and ran the other direction. In the distance, I could see people milling around the beach. Many tourists would come down and watch the sunrise in the mornings before whipping out their chairs and umbrellas and dipping into the near freezing water.

Past the point that separated the tourist area from the line of condos, I could see people arriving practically in droves. Kids were dragging their sets of plastic beach tools and plopping themselves down onto a spot to begin building their sandcastles. They were using little plastic shovels to pour piles of sand into one large stack.

Curious, as I hadn’t been down that way since I woke up with a bottle in my hand and a seagull pecking at my hair, I continued running across the line and down the space between the dying waves, where the people in chairs were too busy scrolling through their phones to even notice me.

I weaved around to avoid messing up all the kids’ hard work, until I saw someone running toward me who jogged right through a nearly finished sandcastle and kept on running even when the child started to cry.

The audacity of some people. As I neared her, I slowed my pace to call out to the rapidly approaching woman and cupped my hands around my mouth. “Hey, you just ruined a kid’s sandcastle!”

“Fuck off, it’s only sand,” she muttered and, without much thought, I shoved my shoulder into her side and sent her stumbling into the water.

Her face turned red as she regained her balance and clenched her fists. I prepared for a fight, because the day wouldn’t be the same without me pissing off at least one other person, but she decided against whatever thought flitted into her mind, told me to fuck myself, and continued on her run.

“No need to, I already have two others to do that for me!” I shouted after her. “Real classy, Lee,” I muttered to myself when I noticed the amount of people who were looking up from their phones to watch the spectacle in front of them.

Ignoring them, I hurried over and squatted in the sand next to the little girl. “Hey, sweetie.”

Her eyes were glassy as she looked up at me and sniffled. Her lips were pursed as she fought to hold back the tears, and my heart clenched when I thought back to when I’d drunkenly destroyed another child’s sandcastle. At the time I didn’t think anything of it and kept on going. Right now, I wished I’d had someone back then to shove a shoulder into me to try and make me aware of my careless stupidity.

Plopping my butt down, I leaned forward and began to move the grains of sand around to try and resemble something that could look like the small castle that was there before.

The water in the little girl’s eyes receded as she watched me wide-eyed while I slowly and carefully rebuilt her fallen castle. I reached for one of the plastic pieces to reform the columns and handed another one to her.

Together, we worked on rebuilding the masterpiece one handful of sand at a time until what stood before us was much bigger and better than before. The sun was now high in the sky, signaling midday, and the walls of sand spanned the length of at least three beach towels.

Water rose up with the waves, but it was still too far away so, getting a new idea, I motioned to her to help me dig a trench leading from the walls of the castle toward the water line, so when the next wave came up, it reached the trench and traveled until it had flooded the moat in and around the castle.

Picking up a dried-out sand dollar with only a small chunk missing, I handed it to her to add to the top of the castle as the final touch, and she did so with careful footing and excitement in her smile.

I watched the girl’s face light up as the cumulation of all our hard work came to life. “This is amazing,” she squealed, kicking up the surrounding sand as she ran around the massive castle that could now pass as more of a full-on sand village surrounding the palace. Her grin widened as she got a closer look at every part of it, and I focused on our surroundings and guided people around us to make sure there wasn’t another accident so soon. The masterpiece probably wouldn’t last too long, but it was still worth it to see the hope come back into her eyes that the world had tried to dampen.

She picked up handfuls of shells to decorate, and I began to slowly back away and leave her to it, thinking she might have forgotten about me now, but as I stepped away, she ran up and wrapped her arms around my waist with a mumbled, “Thank you,” before breaking away and continuing to eagerly decorate with shells and seaweed.

I continued my run back to the condo with a large smile on my face, thinking about exactly how much things had changed since I’d arrived. How much I’d changed.

Toeing off my shoes as I walked in the door, I headed for the kitchen to make lunch and glanced at the clock. Chase would be finishing up with his surfing lessons soon and be over for some lunch, and Larsen should be over soon too. Laying half of the fridge out on the countertops, I turned the stove on and set a kettle on it to boil, remembering how Chase liked to have tea after surfing to keep going with the calming vibe.

I flipped the switch on the little countertop radio and moved to the music, dancing around the kitchen as I organized the ingredients and placed the syrup and a bowl of mixed fruit in the center of the table.

Cracking eggs into a bowl with flour and sugar, I began making pancakes while bacon was sizzling in a pan. Shaking my hips and spinning around while singing badly to the music, I dropped the first scoop of pancake batter into the waiting skillet and then paused and listened.

Through the chorus and the bass, I thought I heard a noise that didn’t belong with my kitchen karaoke. I spun around and my jaw dropped when I saw my front door wide open. It could have been the wind, but I was almost certain I had closed it all the way. Maybe it was possible I hadn’t.

I walked forward with the intent to shut and lock it, but a shadow on the wall made me gasp and jump back. As soon as the small sound left my throat, a figure stepped forward and headed straight for me. The bowl of batter in my hand clattered to the floor, coating the linoleum as Todd stepped right through it, his eyes freezing me to the spot.

My voice lodged in my throat as my lower back hit the counter, preventing me from going anywhere. I remained immobile, my eyes glued to the savage look in his. Something was off. I used to be afraid of upsetting him when we were together, but this was different. This was what I was always afraid of.

“Both of them, Lee?”

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