Page 15 of Ragnar

It occurs to me that I should fight. Not that it would do any good if I’m honest with myself, I am exhausted. I’ve kept vigilance over him for what felt like an eternity, worrying over his health. Now that I am not responsible for our lives, I let myself relax into his arms. Just for now, I can accept his comfort. All the fight inside of me leaves with a sigh of contentment and I wrap my arms around his middle, holding him tight against me.

“Reggie is happy that Ragnar is awake. That Ragnar is okay.” I say on a yawn, taking rest where I can, lulled to sleep by his warmth and a vibration that loosens all my muscles and makes my belly clench hotly. Not even misplaced desire can keep my eyes open, and I am soon asleep.

My nap is light and fitful but when I wake up some time later, I am thankful to have gotten at least a little bit. Groaning I go to stretch and the reality of my position hits me like a ton of brick. Tensing in Ragnar’s arms I tentatively open my eyes to find him staring down at me, a look that can only be described as utter devotion in his gaze.

We sit there for a moment, staring at one another in complete silence before the reality of our situation intrudes upon the building tension. Something has shifted, changed. We are not what we were before. I can’t label it, but it is there all the same.

With an angry huff, Floofy hops onto my legs. The beast’s snuffs get more aggressive when I do not react until Ragnar leans down to shoo him away. Unperturbed, Floofy winds his way between us until I can see his large, expressive eyes. They plead with me in a way that I have come to recognize as hunger. It eats more than a small army I swear.

“It is hungry.” I groan out, the spell between us broken. Rolling his slitted eyes, Ragnar climbs to his feet, the play of muscles across his body is both comforting and mesmerizing. Testing his strength, he stands and stretches back and forth. There are no signs of his wounds, only an unbroken expanse of obsidian scales.

“He is hungry.” Ragnar mumbles back, glaring down at the obnoxious chinchilla from hell as he corrects me. His words startle me out of my ogling session. My face flushes bright red with embarrassment. Something has changed alright. I’m becoming the potential monster fucker that Bethany always wanted me to be. I’m in serious trouble if muscles covered in scales are getting me hot and bothered. Casting a glance upwards I see that Ragnar’s full attention is on Floofy who is doing a hilarious spin move on the floor in excitement.

Curiosity peaked, I quickly glanced down at his body again. He truly is beautiful in his own alien way. Though he isn’t exactly humanoid, there is a symmetry and grace to his form that I would be lying if I said wasn’t intriguing. My stomach does a flip, calling me a liar anyways. I find it more than intriguing. When he was sick, I realized how important he has become to me and that helped to push away some of my reticence at him being an alien.

Honestly? Who the fuck cares. Our world has gone to shit. If the worst thing that happens to me is that I find peace again in the arms of an alien, then so be it. It is an oddly comforting thought now that I have had it. He is an alien male, but now that my inhibitions have been put on the back burner, I am able to see that in such a short time he has brought out feelings inside of me that I thought were dead. I haven’t felt attraction since the day I was raped.

Just thinking the word threatens to sour my mood, but it is high time I quit hiding from the truth inside of me. I’ve done that for over five long years. It took one elephant sized male for me to see that the lie I’ve been living is easily shattered. It is easy to convince yourself you are strong and capable when you are hiding. I’ve been hiding far longer than I’ve lived in the damn underground bunker and I am so tired of hiding. I still can’t promise Ragnar that I can be his alien wife, but the idea doesn’t frighten or disgust me any longer.

Now that I am telling myself the truth, I can recognize that it hasn’t ever disgusted me. I just reacted the way others thought I should. I’m still living in the shadows and expectations of a civilization that has died. I refuse to die right along with it. This is After Earth, and I am Reggie. I will persevere and will make sure my siblings do too. With Ragnar’s help I intend to conquer my inner and outer demons.

A shudder shakes me. My inner demons are far more frightening than the ones that are outside the door. Those can be killed. The ones inside are resilient and that scares me far more than fangs and claws. A vibration from Ragnar brings me back to the present and I smile up at him when he casts me a concerned look.

Taking his offered hand, I see his shock register that I am allowing more touch. I want to explain to him all of my epiphanies, but I’m not sure I can say them in a way that he would understand. What if his species doesn’t deal with mental health and he will only see me as a mad woman. Not today. Maybe one of these days. As it is, we need to get moving. There are no more growls and groans coming from the main part of the store, we need to go while it is quiet.

“We can’t stay here forever.” I say, watching to see if he understands. A flash of appreciation fills me when he nods his agreement.

“Naga covered scent. Not forever.” He replies, piecing together more words. Some new things that I know I haven’t said to him before, but he is a quick learner. Who knows? Maybe within a week a full sentence will be possible. As it is, I understand his point. Eventually the scent of the snake man’s blood will not be able to hide us. That leaves us at the mercy of whichever monster finds us first.

“We need to find medicine first and then we can leave town altogether. I hate it here and do not want to stay any longer than necessary.” I know my words test his limited knowledge, but he follows along, only taking a few moments to formulate a response. For a second, I wonder at how he can understand me. Something alien must be at play. Maybe a translator?

“Sister is important. Safe. Medicine heals. Ragnar check.” Though his words are broken it makes my heart happy to be able to understand each other better already. It also makes me giddy that he understands my mission isn’t an option and isn’t trying to change my mind. Whispers of doubt fill me though, and when he turns to the door I catch his arm. He turns back to me, a question in his eyes.

“Ragnar stays? You won’t leave me?” I ask, letting my vulnerability color my words. It feels like I have cracked my chest wide open, admitting a weakness to another person. Despite his otherworldly appearance, he is a person all the same. I can’t do this without him. Anger flashes on his face before I find myself lifted off my feet and slammed into the nearest wall.

Ragnar consumes the space around me until there is nothing but him and his ice blue eyes. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of me and I can only stare into his intensity, face it head on. Fear is absent from me. The feelings swirling inside of me are the furthest thing from fear as he leans close enough that his unique scent envelopes me, consumes me. I am caught up in his spell as surely as I am trapped between his body and the wall. The two temperatures are extreme, his heat at my front and the cool concrete at my back.

What little air remains comes out in a rush when he leans forward until his snout is flush with my ear. Little shivers wrack my body in reaction to the maelstrom of sensations kaleidoscoping through me in rapid succession. Lust, fear, intense pressure in my chest and a fluttering of butterflies in my belly. What was overwhelming from the start skyrockets into a new orbit when he speaks.

“Ragnar and Regreee forever. Never leave. Never hurt. Always protect. Always stand behind you. You are mine.” His words whisper down my spine until I want to melt into a puddle at his feet. As if he knows the effect he has on me, Ragnar lets me down slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as he takes a step back. Once he sees I am steady on my feet he turns to the door and quickly exits. The moment it clicks shut, I collapse to the floor and stare dumbly at where he disappeared. My mind is in a jumble but that simple phrase plays like a broken record in my mind. You are mine.

Chapter Twelve:

*Ragnar*

Regreee is determined. It is one of the qualities I find most admirable about her. Two days of searching. Two days of digging through multiple buildings in her hunt for the medicine her sister needs. Not once has she complained or given up the hunt despite each broken down store yielding little to no results.

I can see the tiredness in her eyes each night, but she doesn’t voice it. My skin prickles with unease at the prolonged exposure. The longer we are out in the open, the more aliens that are drawn to her scent. Though, none have been as bold as the Naga. My scent is enough to ward them off each night as we hide away in whatever safe space we can find.

A tingle of desire shoots down my spine, wholly unwelcome in my current form but it heats my blood nonetheless. The memory of our nights together serves as its own form of torture. Regreee no longer treats my touch as if it is diseased. We snuggle for warmth, and she falls asleep easily in my arms. It is almost painful to have her so close and yet do nothing…and yet I wouldn’t trade it for the world. If this is all she gives me, then I will be content until the day I go to be with my gods.

It is a weird place to be, caught between the desire for her to be safely hidden away and the desire for this to never end. Fear takes hold of my heart. What if she finds the medicine and we go back to her sisters too quickly? What happens then? What happens if we don’t? Safety is a driving force in my mind but so is the need to claim, to make sure that she knows who she belongs to. The insidious whispers of my beast are becoming harder to ignore, pushing me to make a move. To claim her.

I cannot. I will not betray the trust that Regreee has given me. It is obvious that she has been hurt before. White hot anger courses through me, fed by the rage of a suppressed inner beast. He is angry that we are not one, angry that he is caged within me instead of a part of me. Anger that is only made worse by the knowledge that our mate is suffering, and we cannot kill the ones responsible.

We are weak. We cannot protect our mate. We failed her. Destroy all the lives and any who breath towards her. None other shall be near. My beast’s whisper is uncontainable, slithering through my mind until my hearts begin to beat with a building heat, a need to maim and destroy.

Uneasily I shift among the rubble of our latest store, watching my mate with the sharpest of eyes while my senses are focused on the area around us. I cannot destroy or maim. This mission is important to her. If I were to let him out, to let him do what he wished then everything around us would be lost. This is the fifth store we have searched, her face becoming more and more desolate as we go. To destroy that hope further would be detrimental to our fragile mate.

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