Page 20 of Ragnar

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry.” She whispers now that her shaking and gasping has ceased. The sound of defeat in her voice is like a spike to my hearts as the tang of salt hits my nose. Curious, I lean back until I can see her face. Tears track down her cheeks and her eyes are puffy as she cries. She is the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes upon.

“How to fix?” I ask, frustrated at the lack of inflection in my words. To combat that, I raise one clawed finger, catching a single tear upon it. She gives a watery laugh, the first sign of my Regreee that I have seen in hours.

“You can’t fix it, Ragnar. I am sorry. I had a panic attack; humans get those when their emotions and anxiety take control. It is hard to get out of one.” Shame heats her cheeks until they are pink. Anger makes me want to growl. She doesn’t need to feel shame for being human. We are different, but our differences make our pairing beautiful.

“No sorry. Emotions are…hard.” The sentence is broken but I am pleased with it all the same. When she gives a watery laugh once more, I can’t help but smile. “Anxiety for Regreee all the time.” I add, hoping to make her feel better. We all have weaknesses. Confronting them makes us stronger. This time her laughter is pure and light.

“I’m sure I give you fits. It must be hard being the size of a house and having to worry about something as small and useless as me.” Her joke feels wrong, as if she is insulting herself. I do not like the double meaning she has hidden in her words.

“Not useless. Strong. Beautiful. Brave.” I force all of my love into those words, trailing a claw down her cheek in a caress. She squirms in my lap, her cheeks heating once more.

It makes her look adorable. Her words from earlier are shoved into my brain, my beast rising to the surface to demand I claim Regreee in all ways, as my mate. Now that her sadness has passed, my beast wants to mark what is his.

Fighting against the surge of arousal that threatens to have my cocks hardening, I clear my mind. No. I may not be human, but these thoughts are intrusive and unwanted. It feels like a betrayal of my mate to even have these thoughts while she is vulnerable. With a savage burst of energy, I lock my beast back in the depths of my mind where he belongs.

“Thank you, Ragnar. You are…you are special to me. That's why I had a panic attack. I was so worried in the store that those men would hurt you. They are monsters and I know what they are capable of. I couldn’t stand the thought of them getting their hands on you.” She shudders as if imagining it. My hearts surge at her words but then ice-cold dread leaks into my veins.

“You...know them?” I ask her, my mind turning over her words and the double meanings that they could have. My own species isn’t prone to duplicity, so it is an adjustment trying to figure out hers. When she hesitates, biting her plump limp between her blunt teeth, I know I have guessed correctly. There is something my little mate doesn’t wish to tell me. It makes me even more determined to know.

A growl rumbles in my throat when she climbs off my lap and moves further up the bed, resting upon dusty, plump mounds beneath the covering. She crosses her legs and her arms, something she only does when she is uncomfortable. Hurt fills me, my mind flashing back to our first night together, when she treated me as if I was something disgusting and unworthy.

Something on my face must have given away my feelings because she immediately adjusts her position before patting the bed beside her. It is a small amount of space, barely big enough for two people her size. Despite the lack of space, I squeeze my massive bulk below her legs, curling up as best I can. The hurt eases the moment we make contact, her skin flush against me from hip to heel.

We sit in silence for a little while, each of us consumed with our thoughts. As much as I want to know the situation with those nasty humans, I also do not want to create distance between us. We have made progress over the last few days.

Two desires war within me. The desire for any knowledge of my mate and her life before me and the desire to keep building upon our relationship. She has accepted me, and my hearts can’t take it if she reverts to disgust.

“Ragnar…” She begins, clearing her throat before continuing. “Ragnar, those men are people I used to know. The story is painful and long and it is difficult for me to speak of. That's partly why I had a panic attack. The need to keep you safe mixed with remembered pain. It was too much.” Her breath hitches at the end and I smell the salt of her tears once more.

My beast rises from the depths of my mind, his focus changed. Rage fills every inch of my body until I am practically vibrating with it. Someone hurt my mate. Not just one, but many and they were within my grasp, and I didn’t even know it. The need to rend, tear and destroy is like a living, breathing thing.

“They hurt you. They die.” The words escape between my gritted teeth, torn from my very soul. I mean every single one of them. The sadness falls from her face for a moment, smiling down at me. It feels like being hit with a sunbeam after a storm.

“I agree. Next time we see them I’ll even point out which ones need to die but tonight? Tonight, I want to escape the demons that haunt me. Can you just hold me?” She holds her arms out and my need for answers is forgotten in the moment. I can deny her nothing, especially when she asks for my touch.

As gently as I can, I climb up her body until I can take her within my arms. She practically disappears as she curls up beneath my chin, holding me just as tightly as I hold her. It feels like a form of heaven I can hardly put words to. We may be adrift in a sea of the unknown but here in this moment, I have an anchor. My mate.

From a young age, I have been deprived of physical touch. Once I reached fifteen human years, my dam kicked me from our den along with all of the other unmated males. They are too unpredictable to be around the younglings if they are unmated, their beast too close to the surface. I understand the why of it as an adult, but I didn’t quite realize how starved of touch I was until the silken texture of her skin met my hardened scales.

She could have been a three headed, giant, clawed Bleargon from my world and I wouldn’t have complained so long as she loved me. It is just an extra benefit that she is so beautiful, soft and pliable.

We are two halves of the same whole. I am all hard angles, spikes and scales. She is soft, plush and sweet. I am dark and she is light. Obsession swarms me, an obsession with her design. Lying with her feels like a religious experience, getting to hold her and absorb her scent.

Earlier she told me she cared about me. My translator tells me this is the human equivalent to a blooming bond. It gives me hope that she might one day return the depth of feeling I have for her. As deep as the universe is wide. It feels like she has changed the chemical composition of me, I am altered. I am changed.

My DNA, the very code for my being has been rewritten to reflect her name. My hearts cease to beat for anything but her pleasure, her continuance. The human word, love, cannot contain what I am feeling. My world begins and ends with her.

Chapter Fifteen

*Reggie*

By the fifth house on this street, I want to scream in frustration. After the run in with the sheriff the day before, we decided to switch our tactics. Most of the stores had already been ransacked and the rest are too close to the center of town for our comfort. To go there means to risk another run-in with the men. Something I can’t handle right now. So here we are, searching house by house in the hope that someone left medicine.

Too bad it is obvious that the monsters went through each house in search of humans to eat. Few are left intact enough to search and the ones that are, are cleaned out of anything useful. The distant hum of machinery and growls keeps me silent, internalizing my disappointment. The last thing we need is the attention of another monster or the humans. My mission already felt impossible, now it feels like a fool’s errand.

Casting a look down the deserted street, I let out a defeated sigh. This is one of the bigger neighborhoods in town and it shows the least amount of damage. That doesn’t mean it isn’t destroyed though. The abandoned signs of life are depressing, a stark reminder that this was once a thriving place. A thriving place with an annoying lack of antibiotics.

A shrill chiming noise makes me jump, whirling around to stare open mouthed at Ragnar and Floofy. It takes everything I have to hold in the bark of laughter that threatens to escape. The two of them are frozen in place, Floofy hanging from Rangar’s mouth. Both give me a guilty look. The laughter finally breaks free as I stomp over to him and point angrily to the ground.

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