Page 94 of Love and Cherish

Cherish growled in the back of her throat as though she were some kind of animal as Haylee broke eye contact and headed to her desk.

She glared at her phone screen, as though Stuart would receive the scolding look next time he picked up.

Letting this much emotion into her heart about another person had been the dumbest move she had made in a very long time. She couldn’t risk screaming at Haylee again, and while Stuart remained AWOL, there really was only one other person she could talk to.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Cherish looked over at Febe’s closed door. She couldn’t though, could she? The only person she had to talk to was the one person who reminded her on a daily basis why love was never worth it, not in the end. Because the end would always happen. One way or another.

“Cherish!” Haylee snapped and jerked Cherish’s head back toward the woman who was leaving her. The woman who Cherish lov—no. Cherish couldn’t, she wouldn’t continue to torment herself like this.

“Yes?” Cherish heard the edges of ice in her voice, but she couldn’t have it both ways, and this way would hurt less in the long run.

She would talk to Febe tonight. If Febe was still in her office when Haylee left, she would go and talk to her then.

“Are you all right?” Haylee’s voice sounded thinner than a champagne glass.

“Of course.” Cherish nodded, unable to stop the corners of her mouth flickering up for a fraction of a moment.

“Okay.” Haylee didn’t sound convinced, but she returned her attention to her computer, and Cherish broke a little more inside.

Throughout the day, Cherish wasn’t certain which she hoped for more—that Febe would leave and let her off the hook Cherish had put herself on, or that Febe would stay and Cherish could finally get Haylee out of her system once and for all.

“Cherish?” Haylee didn’t say anything else until Cherish looked up. Their eyes met, and for a moment, Cherish forgot how to breathe. Had Haylee always been that pale, with those dark streaks beneath her eyes all day? “Don’t stay too late, okay? It’s not good for your migraines.”

Cherish softened at the concern in Haylee’s tone. But she couldn’t allow herself to do that. So she gave Haylee her closemouthed professional smile as she nodded and faced her computer once more. Her eyes looked at the screen, but they saw nothing.

“Good night, Cherish.”

Cherish didn’t turn to look. Her fingers rested on the keys as though at any moment she would edit the report that remained open in front of her.

It took far too long for the elevator to arrive and the doors to open and then close again. Once the feeling of eyes on her disappeared, she waited a count of twenty before turning her head.

Of course it was empty. What had she really expected? Haylee to linger and stand there waiting for Cherish to look up? She was leaving, and Cherish had to deal with this incoming pressure before it blew her away.

For a moment, she stood in front of Febe’s closed door, trying to will her arm to lift and her fingers to curl into a fist and knock.

The door opened suddenly, Febe standing on the other side of it, only half a step away.

Febe yelped a little before she gasped out the words. Her hand at her chest, clutching to the silk shirt she wore. Her cheeks were flushed a bright pink as her widened eyes narrowed. “Holy shit, Cherish!” Febe breathed for a few seconds to calm down before her gaze narrowed even more as she focused on Cherish. Her tone sobered instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“I screwed up.” The words barely escaped before tears spilled over Cherish’s cheeks.

In a moment, Febe wrapped her up in her arms, and together they gently rocked side to side. Cherish allowed herself a few moments to weep, the release of all the pent-up emotions from the day rushing out of her. It would have been so easy to stay there, but she couldn’t. She didn’t deserve sympathy.

“No.” She wriggled out of Febe’s embrace and then pushed passed to Febe’s office.

“By all means, come in.” Febe’s wry humor followed Cherish, but she didn’t care. She had to get this out, all of it before it consumed her, before she truly became the tornado from the Wizard of Oz, picking up and shaking everyone in her path.

“I really, really screwed up.” Cherish paced back and forth in front of Febe who took her usual perch at the front of her desk, her long legs straight out at an obtuse angle, feet crossed at the ankles.

“Go on.” Febe nodded.

Seeing the serious expression on Febe’s face, a fresh wave of tears overcame Cherish.

But the pressure still churned inside of her, and she had to move. She walked back and forth, hitting her feet against the carpet so hard she felt the shock of hitting the cement beneath as it jarred up her calves. She would hurt tomorrow, but what did it matter?

“I lied to you.” She sucked in a deep breath because it was all about to tumble out. “I lied about there being nothing between me and Haylee.” Cherish kept walking, keeping her eyes on the carpet, on the space for the next step as tears continued to course over her cheeks. “There’s nothing now, but there was. There was something amazing. And I screwed up by falling for her, and now she’s leaving me, and I can’t get rid of this feeling.”

Cherish scrubbed ruthlessly at her eyes, hands finally curled into those fists she couldn’t force them into earlier.

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