“Yeah. I think she has. You’ve been distracted at work. You’re barely managing to get anything done. You’re constantly thinking about her … And all of that without bringing her up here for the same little ‘meetings’ that you were having at the beginning. All of that tells me that what’s going on with the two of you is definitely not just about sex.”
“It hasn’t been just about sex in a long time,” I reply and he relaxes back into a chair.
“So, what is it about then?” he asks and I find the words pouring out.
About everything I’ve noticed about her and everything I like about her. Everything that she’s done and practically everything she’s said since this whole thing started.
And Ethan sits there and listens to it all, a small smile on his face that encourages me to keep talking until I finally run out of things to say. And then he just sits there. Silently.
“You don’t have anything to say to me?” I feel slightly awkward now. I’ve never actually bared my soul like that to anyone before and to have him take it all without a word feels very unnerving.
“Yeah, that’s love,” he says finally and I let out a nervous laugh that doesn’t even sound like me.
“Well … then … I guess I’m in love. With Emma.” The words come out for the first time and I have to stop for a moment. To think about them. To think about what this really means.
“There are worse things than being in love with the mother of your child,” Ethan observes and I know that he’s right, that, of course, it’s a good thing that I care about Emma. But does she love me? Is being in love with her even if she’s not in love with me going to be enough?
It’s going to have to, isn’t it? Because there’s nothing I can do to make her love me if she doesn’t. But I know that she won’t go anywhere because of the baby. And because now her family is going to be moving in.
“So, you’re starting a family in a little less than conventional way. Things can still happen between the two of you. You can still be a real family. You can still create a real relationship with Emma, even if you’re doing things a little backwards.”
“Yeah, I suppose I can,” I agree. We’ve already gone out on one date and it went well, after all. I can continue to date her, right? And things will evolve from there between the two of us. If she’s not in love with me … well, we can get there gradually. With the baby to tie us together.
But part of me wonders if that’s all going to be enough.
Chapter Twenty-Eight ~ Emma
“This place is great!” Leann exclaims, racing from one room to the next.
You’d never guess the girl was in high school with how energetic and excitable she is sometimes. But her energy is definitely infectious and I can’t help but laugh.
“You can pick out one of those rooms.” I point to the ones on the right. “Mom, the master suite is here.”
“A master suite?” She raises an eyebrow at me in surprise but then follows me to the room I point out.
Leann follows, obviously intrigued and we step into the room that’s far larger than Mom’s back home. And it has its own bathroom.
She doesn’t say a word, but she doesn’t have to. The look on her face shows just how amazed she is. And Leann immediately starts rushing around, checking out everything. And talking about everything.
By the time we’ve explored the house it’s nearly lunchtime and that doesn’t even include moving much of anything inside.
I take them both up to the main house to get some lunch and as we sit down I can see that Mom wants to say something.
There’s a firm set to her mouth as she looks down at the table and she’s not eating. Instead, she folds her hands together and slowly brings her gaze up to me. It’s a sign that something is coming she thinks I might not like.
It’s what she did when she told us about Leann being sick. And when she told us about Dad leaving.
“Emma … it’s a beautiful house,” she begins and I brace myself for what’s to come. “But we can’t stay here.”
“Why not?” I ask, though it’s not entirely unexpected.
“This is too much. For him to give us a house and money for an allowance and … everything … we can’t accept it.”
Leann looks sad at the words but also like she understands. And so do I. Honestly, I can see where Mom is coming from.
It’s never been her style to just sit back and let anyone take care of her. It’s one of the reasons she hates me giving them money all the time. But it’s just one of those things …
“Well, you can feel better about it because you’re not getting everything for nothing.”