Page 5 of The Friend Zone
GrayG: Glad to be of service, honey. You can always count on me.
IvyMac: You’re starting to be the first person I turn to. If that freaks you out, tell me. I’ll dial it down.
GrayG: What? No. Don’t take this wrong, but I’ve kind of become addicted to your texts.
IvyMac: Me too. Talking to you is like talking to myself. Only better.
GrayG: It’s scary that I get that.
GrayG: I feel like I can tell you anything.
IvyMac: You can. That’s what friends do.
GrayG: I’ve never been friends with a girl before.
IvyMac: I’m honored to be your first.
The next morning...
GrayG: So as friends, can I still say inappropriate, sex-related things?
IvyMac: Sure. Think of me as just another guy. With a vagina.
GrayG: A. Impossible. You’d never be “just another guy.”
B. Don’t bring your V into this.
C. I had this dream that you were sucking my 8==> But when I looked down, I discovered it was actually a goat...you know. Then I really woke up because I yelled so hard, I fell out of bed. And now I live in mortal terror of goats.
IvyMac: LMFAO! Gray got it from a goat!
GrayG: >:-[
IvyMac: Goat-on-Gray action! Heeeee! *Falls down ded*
GrayG: You suck, you know that?
IvyMac: No, the goat does! *Dies again* My sides. My sides!
GrayG: Laugh it up, Chuckles.
IvyMac: Okay. I’m good now. Aw, Cupcake, I’m so glad we’re friends. It means a lot to me. I feel safe with you. Like I can be me without worrying about sex getting in the way of things. Or something.
IvyMac: I’m rambling. Ignore me.
GrayG: Honey, your friendship is a fucking gift. Don’t ever doubt it.
After a few more texts, and a few hours of going without...
GrayG: So I got into it with Drew. He accused me of trying to fuck his girl. I would NEVER fckn do that. Whatever people think about me, I would die before I did that shit.
IvyMac: I’d never believe that of you, Gray. I’m sorry you’re hurt. :-(
GrayG: I’m not hurt. You wouldn’t? How do you know for sure? I’m kind of known as a player. Shit, maybe I should call myself Sir Fucksalot.
IvyMac: Stop it. Any guy who crams into a tiny pink car and willingly drives it around town as a favor to his friend wouldn’t turn around and stab that friend in the back. Player or not, you’re a good guy. And I’m the only one who can call you Sir Fucksalot! >:-[
IvyMac: It’s okay to be hurt, btw. I’d be hurt if my friend accused me of that. Do you want me to come home and kick his ass? ‘Cuz I got skillz. Mad ass-kicking skillz.
