He blows out a breath. “Yeah, I guess I do separate myself from all that.”
“Except you aren’t separate because then they come home and confess to you, and in turn, you harm yourself.”
“How did we get turned around to talking about me?” he says, only because he knows I’m right.
“So you knew where I was,” I say, giving him a reprieve for now.
“You’re talking in circles, babe.”
“I’m concussed.” The words slur together.
“I think those pain pills are kicking in.” I hear the smile in his voice, and he’s right. The pain has lessened, and I’m a bit loopy, but after everything I’ve been through, I deserve this high. “But yes, I knew where you were.”
“How?”
“The girls in that place, they could’ve been you. You came to Reno with nothing and were at the mercy of a horrible man. Thankfully—though not thankfully for Tinleigh—that dude only wanted you to strip. He could’ve just as easily sent you to live at a place like what you were trying to shut down by taking that guy out.”
Turning back on my side, I attempt to cuddle into him, but with my injuries, all it ends up being is my head tucked under his chin with my hands between us so I don’t have to stretch out my arm. He helps by hitching my leg over his hip and working his hand under my injured arm to hold me. I didn’t think I’d ever see Judge again, let alone be here with him like this. It feels like a dream come true.
“All I’ve done is shut you out, but you still got to know me somehow, enough to know how I think. I’m sorry I made it so hard for you.” I inhale his intoxicating scent, and it makes me feel safe. The pine from his soap and the leather of his cut seems to cling to him even when he’s not wearing it.
“Does that mean you’ll let me in now?”
I tip my head back to look him in the eyes. “When I was lying on that cement floor, bleeding and fairly certain I was going to die, I had only one regret.”
“What was that?” He skims his knuckles down my cheek in the softest caress.
“That I never told you I’m in love with you. I don’t know how it happened or when, but nothing has ever been more clear to me than that.”
He touches his lips to my forehead in a kiss that stretches on for long seconds before he pulls away and tucks me back into him. “I love you too, Myla, but I know exactly when it happened.”
“When?”
“When I gave you Ryder and witnessed the biggest badass I’ve ever met coo and love on that kitten. My heart nearly combusted, and suddenly, it was obvious.”
“For you, it took a kitten. For me, it took an abduction and getting shot. Hmm. . . yeah, that tracks.”
“It’s not funny,” he chides. “I almost lost you.”
I blow out a breath. “I know.”
“Are you done?” he asks, and if hope has a tone, he’s speaking with it. I don’t want to disappoint him or worse, have him leave me, but I know deep down that I need to see this through. There are people counting on me who don’t even know I’m out there fighting for them, and I can’t let them or myself down. My silence must be all the answer he needs because he visibly deflates and rolls to his back, staring at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You almost died. If I hadn’t been there, you would’ve, and I was going off a hunch at best. Do you know what losing you would do to me, to Tinleigh?”
“You didn’t see those girls, Judge.” I sober thinking about them.
He throws back the covers and gets out of bed. It’s so rare I see him in anything but his button-down and jeans that the black track pants and white T-shirt are a shock. Like when you only see someone in glasses, then one day, they wear contacts and feel like a stranger. Though I will say, it looks good on him. I don’t have a chance to savor how he looks, though, because his hands land on his hips, ready to scold me. The dim lighting creates shadows on his face, making his angered expression look even more severe.
“You haven’t seen yourself. Fuck, Myla. You look like you’ve been through a war. You were shot, for fuck’s sake.”
“I know, but I was too cocky. I wanted to be up close when they died so they knew it was me who killed them. Now I realize the most important thing is for them to die, so I need to be smarter. Cut brake lines, shoot them, those kinds of things.”
“You’ll get caught.”
“I won’t. I have no attachment to these men at all.”