Page 74 of The Diary at the Last House Before the Sea

‘Do you mind me asking how exactly my grandmother helped you?’

‘Violet knew about Edwin’s temper and, when she noticed that I sometimes had bruises, I began to confide in her. But as Edwin’s paranoia increased, he forbade me from talking to the staff and began to limit who I could see and when. I could only see people if he was present too. He was morbidly jealous for no good reason and, after a while, I wasn’t even allowed to go out of the manor grounds on my own.’ She paused. ‘It was a difficult time, to say the least. But your grandmother was kind. She risked dismissal by speaking to me when she could and, when that became ever more challenging, we began to communicate using coded notes.’

‘I’m glad you had Violet,’ said Clara, feeling an overwhelming rush of love for her brave, big-hearted grandmother. ‘But everything seemed to come to a head after the ball.’

‘Ah, the ball.’ Audrey closed her eyes and her body began to sway, as if she could hear music from long ago, from another life.

‘I was so excited when Edwin agreed to having a grand ball at the manor,’ she said, opening her eyes. ‘The house was so lonely, I craved company. I was only twenty-four years old and full of life.’

‘Why did he agree to the ball at all?’ River asked.

Audrey blinked at him as if she’d forgotten he was there. ‘It suited him to invite people with whom he was hoping to do business, and maybe he realised that he couldn’t keep me cooped up for ever? I don’t know. I didn’t ask any questions in case he changed his mind. I simply threw myself into the preparations.’

‘The ball sounded wonderful from your description,’ said Clara, fascinated by Audrey’s memories.

‘It was the most magnificent evening,’ she declared, her eyes shining. ‘The ballroom was lit by hundreds of candles and a string orchestra played for hours. Our guests were resplendent in long gowns and black tie and tails, and I wore my beautiful yellow dress and was so happy.’ She smiled, lost in her memories. ‘But afterwards…’

Audrey’s hands had begun to shake and Clara put hers on top of them. She and Audrey no longer felt like strangers, not when so much was being shared in this room that pretended to be the seaside.

‘You don’t have to tell us anything more. We’ve found you, and that’s all that matters.’

Audrey turned her pale blue eyes on Clara. ‘But don’t you understand that I want to tell you? That’s why I’ve been so open since you arrived. I’ve carried this with me for the last sixty-seven years. I’ve been living a lie and the truth needs to come into the light before I die. Will you please both listen to my story?’

When Clara and River glanced at each other and nodded, Audrey continued.

‘I was getting ready for bed, after the ball. I’d finished writing my diary and was in the bathroom when Edwin appeared in a rage. He’d drunk too much and was slurring his words. He accused me of flirting with William Jenkinson, an older man who had actually been kind to me.

‘Edwin was busy all night talking to business associates and William took pity on me. We danced a few times and he fetched me some food. We talked about his children and his wife, who was unwell so hadn’t accompanied him. We discussed the challenges of being a parent and I confided in him that I sometimes felt awkward around Geoffrey. I cared about him but wasn’t sure how he felt about me. That was all that happened.’

‘Did Edwin believe you when you told him that?’ asked River.

‘No. He became more angry than I’d ever seen him before and, when I tried to get past him, he pinned me to the wall by my neck.’

She cleared her throat as if Edwin’s hands were still around it, chasing the breath from her.

‘He finally released me when I began to cry but he promised to kill me if I so much as looked at another man ever again, and I believed him.’

‘That’s appalling,’ said River. ‘Was there someone you could tell about his threats?’

‘Who would I tell? Domestic abuse was rarely talked about and certainly not amongst well-off families. Everyone thought I lived a charmed life with nothing to complain about, and plenty of people thought I was a money-grabber who’d married a much older man for his house when, in fact, I’d married him for love. So who would have believed that I was terrified of my husband?’

‘My grandmother,’ said Clara.

Audrey smiled. ‘That’s right. Wonderful Violet, who noticed the marks around my neck and knew I had to get away. She knew I was desperate to escape, one way or another.’

‘One way or another?’ Clara probed gently.

‘I just wanted my life in that house to end because I couldn’t go on like that. Looking back, I can see how depressed and frightened I was.’

‘So my grandmother helped you.’

‘And your grandfather did, too.’

Clara blinked at this bombshell but bit back questions about her grandfather’s involvement because words were still spilling from Audrey’s mouth.

‘I was trapped at Brellasham Manor. Edwin had even hired security staff – thugs really – to patrol the border of his land. He said it was to keep burglars out, but I knew it was to keep me in. Then Violet offered me a lifeline. She sent the message you found in my diary because she’d found a way out for me.

‘Edwin could stop me leaving by land but he couldn’t stop me leaving by sea. A boat pulling into the cove would have been noticed, but not a lone figure walking into the waves. But someone must have seen me. I saw newspaper articles soon afterwards that said I’d drowned.’

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