Page 54 of The Diary at the Last House Before the Sea

‘She walked into the sea, planning to swim to the boat that was waiting for her. And she wrote something strange in her diary that day: Can a flower bloom in the snow? Only time will tell. Does that mean anything to you?’

River racked his brains but nothing came to mind. ‘I’m afraid not, but the big question is, did Audrey make it to the boat?’

‘I have no idea, but we need to find out if Audrey died that night or made good her escape.’

She frowned when River stood up and began pacing, his tall frame casting shadows across the lawn.

‘I can do it myself if you haven’t got the time, but you seem to want to be involved, and I thought you might be interested to find out what really happened.’

River stopped pacing. ‘It’s amazing that you’ve been able to decipher her code, but are you sure this is a good idea? What happened to Audrey is appalling but it was a long time ago and, even if she survived that night, she might still have died years ago.’

‘I know that but I think Audrey’s story deserves to be known, even if only by us. She had no one to tell when she lived here.’

‘Except, it seems, for your grandmother.’

‘Except for Gran,’ said Clara. ‘I only knew her in her later days but she was always a fierce advocate for women’s rights, and she hated injustice. I can see why she would have wanted to help.’

‘She did the right thing, whereas my grandfather…’ River shook his head. ‘It helps me to understand why my father is like he is.’

‘He never hurt you or your mum, did he?’

‘No, not physically, but it sounds as if he was brought up by a hypocrite who drummed into him the importance of repressing his emotions in public while, behind the scenes, he was abusing his wife. That must have damaged him.’

‘Plus’ – Clara cleared her throat – ‘he saw his stepmother walking into the sea that night. He was in the library and he saw her from the window but couldn’t do anything to stop her.’

River blinked. ‘How do you know that?’

‘He told me. I don’t think he meant to but it slipped out while he was talking about her. He was meant to be having dinner with his father but he was excused to read a book because he wasn’t feeling well and that’s when he saw her. That’s what he said, and I know he can be cold, River, but he looked haunted. Which is why I’m waiting for the right moment to give him Audrey’s diary. I’m not sure he’ll want to have it.’

River put his hands on his hips and gazed towards the sea, just visible through the trees.

‘Maybe it’s better to leave all of this, Clara. I’ve got involved but your search is uncovering too many secrets that are probably best left buried. My father wouldn’t want it.’

Clara watched him for a moment, as he bent and brushed away grass that had stuck to the hem of his jeans. As a teenager, he’d have done the opposite of what his father wanted. But people changed. People grew up.

‘What about Audrey?’ she asked. ‘I can see that our search might upset your dad but shouldn’t the truth about what happened to her come out?’

‘No.’ River’s tone was firm and uncompromising. ‘This is my family you’re talking about, and I’m saying definitely not. Sometimes, Clara, you can be a bit too—’ He closed his mouth and started biting his lip.

‘A bit too what?’

‘A bit too stubborn and single-minded without taking into account other people’s feelings.’

‘And of course, you always take other people’s feelings into account,’ Clara shot back, remembering the postcard that had dropped onto her doormat from the other side of the world. The abrupt heartless words that had devastated her: Probably best not to keep in touch now I’ve moved on. I really hope you have a good life. R.

‘I do my best,’ said River, his tone frosty.

‘I’m sure you do,’ she replied, her tone matching River’s. ‘It’s a shame that you don’t always manage it.’

‘You seem to be having an argument in your own head, Clara. I have no idea what you’re going on about.’

He really didn’t, and she wasn’t about to remind him.

‘Right, I’d better get on,’ she said briskly. ‘Mum will be expecting me and Bartie wanted to see me.’

‘Yeah. OK. Um…’

‘Was there something else?’

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