‘What would you do?’ she asked Alyssa. ‘If you were in my position?’
Perhaps Alyssa was in the same position and it was a doomed love affair that had brought her to Heaven’s Cove.
Alyssa thought for a moment. ‘I’m not sure what I’d do. But I can see that keeping this secret is causing you pain.’ She looked into Magda’s eyes and held her gaze. ‘In your heart of hearts, do you want to tell Stan? Do you want him to know how you feel?’
‘Truthfully? I’m not sure.’
The secret had become so entwined with Magda’s everyday life and who she was, it was almost impossible to prise it apart and consider it clearly.
‘Do you have a gut feeling about what you’d like to do?’ Alyssa asked. ‘You must have trusted your instincts when you set up your businesses and moved from one part of the country to another.’
Magda gazed out of the window, at the sea endlessly striving to reach land. She trusted her instincts when it came to work and property, but when it came to her heart, that was a different matter.‘I guess the truth is I’d like Stan to know how I feel, but I’m scared.’
‘Of course you are. Who wouldn’t be?’ Alyssa took a deep breath. ‘Look, I’m not the right person to give you advice. Stan did tell me recently that the truth is important to him…’ She paused. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve made a hash of my own life, so I think you should do whatever you feel is best for the two of you.’
That wouldn’t cut it, thought Magda fiercely. She needed to know what to do. If only her mum were here, to give her a hug and tell her how to sort out this mess. But her mother was long gone.
Magda caught hold of Alyssa’s arm. ‘I’ve never been able to ask anyone about this before. I’ve never had anyone else’s opinion, so I’d really like yours. Please.’
The pub door slammed, making the tables shake, but Alyssa’s eyes didn’t leave hers. Then, she sighed.‘All right. My view is, if you really want to tell Stan, I think it’s a shame if fear holds you back. I was scared once, when I had a gut feeling about something important and I let my fear win because I didn’t follow my instincts. I believed someone who told me my instincts were wrong, and I’ve regretted it ever since.’
‘And now, like me, you have secrets that eat you up inside?’
‘And now, like you, I have secrets that I’d rather not have.’ Alyssa pushed her chair back and stood up. ‘I’m sorry but I really do have to go or I’ll be late for my meeting.’
Magda nodded, her stomach churning with emotion. ‘Of course, and thank you for listening. You won’t tell anyone what I’ve said, will you?’
‘My lips are sealed, I promise.’
Magda watched Alyssa leave the pub before heading to the bar to order another vodka. And as Fred cut a fresh lime into slices, she thought about the woman she’d entrusted with her secret. What had Alyssa failed to do? she wondered. What was it that had brought her to Heaven’s Cove, to hide in a caravan at the bottom of her garden?
Secrets could be toxic so perhaps it would be best if her feelings for Stan were out in the open. She so wanted to say the words out loud to Stan, even if only once: ‘I love you.’ But was she brave enough to risk rejection?
Maybe it was the last of the vodka hitting her bloodstream but Magda suddenly felt courageous. She’d kept a tight rein on this secret for almost fifty years but it was time to set it free. To set herself free. ‘Sorry, Fred. Can I cancel that drink? I need to go.’
Magda almost ran out of the pub and stood for a moment, taking in the view. Then, she walked briskly towards Gathergill’s Mini Mart, before she could change her mind.
THIRTEEN
ALYSSA
The meeting at the tourist information office had gone well. The woman she’d spoken to was keen to promote a new smuggling tour, and she’d also expressed interest in a tour focusing on the castle’s history.
It was exciting stuff, but all Alyssa could think about as she climbed the cliff path was Magda. That poor woman had lived with a secret for almost half a century. Alyssa had managed just six months so far, which seemed like forever.
Would she still be running from her past in another forty-nine years’ time? Alyssa firmly pushed that thought from her mind and tried to focus on her surroundings.
It was a beautiful day in Heaven’s Cove and the sun was dancing on the ocean far below. The water rippled green close to shore, and fishing boats bobbed on the waves.
‘It’s totally glorious,’ said Alyssa out loud to a passing seagull, stopping for a breather with her hands on her hips. It felt like nothing bad could happen when the world was so filled with wonder. Was that what Charity had thought when she saw this spectacular view on the day she died? Had she felt protected from dangers lurking nearby?
Alyssa climbed higher and had almost reached the clifftop when she spotted a hive of activity. A huge white marquee was being erected – an elegant structure with a domed roof and arched windows that reminded her of the Pavilion in Brighton.She’d visited Brighton with Ben a few years ago, a day that had been filled with laughter. Though the memories were now tainted by what had come after.
How bizarre and unsettling that something as seemingly innocuous as a large tent could catapult her into the past, thought Alyssa, her attention caught by a woman who was waving at her.
‘Hello, there!’ the woman said, when Alyssa got closer.
It was Rosie, who owned Driftwood house. Rosie, who would soon be marrying Liam and didn’t need unexpected visitors.