Page 22 of The Path to the Last House Before the Sea

Magda took the tissue but shook her head, too scared to speak. What if she started sobbing in the pub? How long would it take for Belinda to hear about it and bustle into the ice-cream parlour, bristling with curiosity?

Alyssa said nothing for a while, which Magda appreciated as she pulled herself together. After a few minutes, she pushed the tissue into her pocket and raised her head. ‘Thank you.’

‘For the tissue?’

‘For not asking lots of questions.’

‘It’s none of my business. But if it would help to talk, you know where I live. And don’t worry, I can keep a secret.’

‘Because you have a few of your own?’

Alyssa paused, as if she was about to deny it. But then she shrugged. ‘One or two, so I know all about the importance of confidentiality.’

Magda nodded but stayed silent and, after a while, Alyssa got to her feet. ‘I’d better go. I’m meeting someone from the tourist information office in five minutes – before I walk up to the clifftop – to see if I can do some work with them. But will you be OK?’

Magda sniffed, feeling wrung out. ‘I’ll be all right. I always am. It’s just…’

Looking back, Magda wondered if it was the concern radiating from Alyssa that made her say it. Or the fact that the secret seemed to be growing with each passing day and was eating her alive.

‘It’s just… Stan,’ she blurted out.

Alyssa sat back down again. ‘He’s home from hospital now.’

‘I know. It’s not that.’ She closed her mouth as a thrill ran through her. She was so close to saying it out loud. So close to telling the secret that was throttling her. And she wasn’t sure if the prospect was filling her with horror or excitement.

‘You don’t have to tell me anything,’ said Alyssa.

‘I know, but I’ve reached a point where I have to tell someone and there’s no one else. I mean, that sounds insulting but—’

Alyssa gave her such a sympathetic smile, Magda felt the prickle of tears again. ‘I know what you mean and I’m not insulted.’

Was it the alcohol she’d drunk so quickly that was making Magda feel light-headed? Or the company of a woman who guarded her own secrets so well?

Alyssa waited and Magda took a deep breath.‘I care about Stan. Really care about him. In fact, I think… well, I know that I—’

She stopped, disappointed she’d been unable to say it out loud after all. But Alyssa had heard enough. ‘You’re in love with him,’ she said softly.

‘Shh!’ Magda looked around but there was no one within earshot.

‘How long?’ asked Alyssa simply.

‘Years.’

‘And does he know?’

‘No, and it has to stay that way.’ Magda picked up her glass, wishing it wasn’t empty. If there was ever a time for vodka, it was now. ‘It’s ridiculous, really. He was married to my best friend and she never knew. I was so careful not to let her know. I just got on with my life.’ She paused. ‘Sort of.’

‘And you still haven’t told him, although Penny’s gone now?’ Magda shook her head. ‘Even though you’re so upset?’

Magda opened her mouth to protest that she wasn’t really upset. It was the drink talking because she was fine with the status quo. But all she could manage was a nod of the head.

‘Oh, Magda. I’m so sorry.’ Alyssa reached out and took hold of her hand. ‘It must have been such a difficult secret to keep over the years.’

Difficult? Alyssa had no idea. No appreciation of the daily toll of loving someone who could never love you in return. Because if he had, by some miracle, felt the same way, it would have broken Penny’s heart. And how could she have respected a man who hurt her best friend? It had been an impossible conundrum.

Magda gently pulled her hand away. ‘I can’t tell him.’

She’d never contemplated telling him. Not even after Penny had died. Though now… the truth of it rolled around her brain. Now, Magda’s passion couldn’t hurt her oldest friend.

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