Page 21 of Tammaro DeLuca

“What’s that?”

He removed my hand from his arm and looked into my eyes when he said, “You.” Ro leaned forward and kissed my lips, stunning me stupidly. “If I’m being honest with both of us, I’d have done plenty more stupid things if it meant that I could have you. I never wanted to let you go in the first place. Once I found you, I was fixated on getting you back in a way that I’d never have to let you go.”

He smelled of weed, alcohol, and the outdoors. Like he’d rolled around in a heap of leaves. None of that mattered when he held my chin, stroking it delicately as if I was some fragile doll.

“You won’t make everything you’ve done disappear with a kiss and all the stench rolling off you.” I pulled away from his touch, pretending to be unaffected by him. “You’ve lied and violated me in so many ways, Ro.”

“For that, I’m sorry. I–” He sighed. “I didn’t plan on having sex with you. Didn’t know you were going to be at the wedding until much too late. When I found out, I still played it cool because I didn’t want to interact with you before today. You were at the bar to witness my failed attempt at talking to Cara. Even then, I kept trying to talk myself out of doing anything more with you. I couldn’t. Especially after we were intimate.”

“I’m even more upset that I didn’t recognize you.” I admitted. “You look so different. The short hair, hard defined lines, you’re taller, and the facial hair doesn’t help you. It hides what I used to see. Your full face.”

“Nothing feels familiar?” He asked.

“Your eyes. However, now they seem so damn sad. They didn’t use to appear that way.”

“Experience.” was all he’d said.

“Why’d you stare at Asmaria when she walked in?”

“She looks like my mother when she was that age. My mother isn’t mixed, but they look so much alike.”

“Is she still back in Italy?” I asked.

“Yes. She’s not alive, though. I lost her last spring. If she grows up to be anything like her, she’s going to be a handful.” He smiled more to himself than to me.

“She already is. Ro?” I looked at him and felt sorry for his experiences.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry about your mother.” I fidgeted with my fingers while trying to figure out my dislike for him and the need to soothe his woes. “Go shower. I’ll fix you a plate for when you’re out.” I walked to the kitchen to do just that. When I was done, I looked around the space and tried to picture myself here in a few years. I didn’t get far, because a few things kept going through my head. The first one being that Ro needed to figure things out with Asmaria. I couldn’t make a home out of anywhere where she didn’t feel safe. I warmed it and was pulling it out of the microwave when I heard footsteps approaching.

“I figured you’d be asleep by now.” Ro said as he entered the kitchen. With shorts on and a t-shirt, he appeared more human and less big. Somebody I could level with. “I found my things.” He leaned on the counter, but his eyes leveled with mine. “I’ll give you a few days, but you’re my wife and I’ve already slept with you. I won’t stay separate.”

“Ro, you’ve manipulated your way back into my life, albeit successfully. However, you will not do the same in the house. Around here, we work for people’s trust and respect. If you want to be my husband in more than just name, you’ll make all of this right. Then, I’ll think about truly being your wife. And as for the stunt you’re trying to pull over on Puff, it won’t work. Give me some time and I’ll figure it out. From here on out, we’re a team or we’re nothing.”

He nodded. “There she is.”

“Don’t start.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“I’ve never liked the version of you that runs. Give me the best versions of you and you’ll win whatever fight or argument in aces, cara angelo.”

I paused and looked at him. That’s what he used to call me.

It really is him.

No matter, he needed to fix all this before I’d even think about exploring a proper relationship. I didn’t know how he’d do that, but it also wasn’t for me to figure out.

“Five years, Ro. If I figure out a way to save your ass before then, it’ll be a lot less.”

He chuckled. “You’re mine. Time has no value here. I went through hell and back to find you. If you think you’re getting away that easily, maybe you really don’t know me. I may have fucked up in how I went about things, but one thing is for certain.” He pulled the plate I’d made and warmed up for him close. “I never stopped loving you. This is coming from a man who stopped believing in love. I’ll make everything right in due time. The one mistake isn’t that I made you marry me. It was going to happen, anyway.” He took a bite and groaned. “This is good. What is it?” He asked.

“Goulash.”

“Mhm.” He continued eating as I left the room.

I showered and laid in bed thinking about everything that happened. I got lost in the betrayal I felt toward him. Tears hit me hard, allowing for a place for the sorrow to escape. I cried myself to sleep, needing an escape from my psyche.

Somewhere during the night, I dreamed.

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