Page 37 of Tammaro DeLuca

“I did.”

“Good. I’m glad that I could be of help.”

“Yolanda, I know you’re still upset with me, but I’m trying to make it right.”

“Are you?” She asked. “Ro, I feel like since you’ve been back, all I’ve done is lose. My place, my father, and the relationship we used to have. I can’t even call him to talk because he’s so out of it when I call. Outside of asking me questions about you, he won’t talk to me. My dignity from the way you used me to get what you wanted. The sanctity of marriage. The baby.” She paused and I could see how she struggled to remain in control of her feelings. “There’s always somebody following us to make sure that we’re safe because we’re always in danger. I can’t shake me not feeling safe with you. One minute I feel like I’ve got it together, and the next, I’m back to feeling so damn lost and out of control.”

“What do you need from me?” I asked her.

“That’s just it. I want nothing from you. I’m here for Asmaria. Outside of that, there’s nothing.” She shook her head. “We’re married out of convenience. I’m using it to keep myself protected. I know you’ll take care of Asmaria, but if we’re divorced, it leaves me vulnerable.”

“Can you honestly say that you feel nothing for me?” I asked.

“No, but that’s exactly the problem. I know I was in love with you. As time passed, I moved on. Even when you came back, I knew there was a connection between us, one I considered exploring. Then you lied. As much as I want to forgive you, I just can’t. It hurts so much because of how much I care for you.”

“Then there’s nothing more to say.” Feeling deflated, it all seemed for nothing.

“No, there isn’t.” She turned and left. Usually, I’d try to figure out how to make it right. This time, I didn’t have it in me. I’d heard one too many times that there was no fixing what was broken between us. Eventually, I had to hear it to be what it was.

Needing time away from everything to clear my mind, I decided it was time to go home. I didn’t know how long I’d stay, but right now, I wasn’t wanted here. That was okay. I refused to stay where I wasn’t wanted, though.

When Asmaria and Yolanda came downstairs in the morning, my things were packed and at the door. I sat waiting for them on the couch.

“Daddy?” Asmaria questioned.

“Hey, Honeydew. Listen, I need to go back home. I’m not sure how long I’ll be away but, if it’s too long, maybe you can ask your mom if you can come visit for spring break.”

“But that’s two months away.” She looked between the two of us, and I didn’t dare look at Yolanda.

“I know. I need to work on something that I can’t do from here. You’ll be good for your mom, right?”

“Always.” She whispered. “Daddy, I just got you.”

“And you’ll never lose me.” I kissed the top of her forehead and closed my eyes. I needed to be strong for us both. “Video calls and messages, alright?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, but there wasn’t any excitement in her voice at all.

Yolanda walked past me and out the front door.

“I’ll see you soon.” I kissed her forehead again and gave her a big hug.

“I’ll miss you, Daddy.” she sniffed.

I nodded. “Same, little one.”

I grabbed my things and exited the house. I heard Asmaria run upstairs, and it took everything in me not to run after her.

“You don’t have to do this to make your point.” Yolanda said once the door was closed.

“What point? You were right. The marriage is for show. We’re not living as husband and wife and there’s no need to pretend in front of her. With us separated, it’ll remove the mixed emotions and force us to face the reality of my decisions. All the security will stay in place. I’ll have Massimo monitor you. Find a house that you love, and I’ll move you into it and sell this one. The driver will stay. Let me know if you need anything. My number still works.”

“She’s heartbroken, Ro.” She looked away, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

“I’ll call her when I land and maybe she can come visit on the weekend or something. I don’t know, but I don’t want her hurting. Being here is making things worse. I need to check on my property there, so I’m not lying about that fact.”

“Okay. Well, have a safe trip.” She turned away and went back inside the house.

I stood there for a moment, wondering if I was making the right move. Something felt off, and I wasn’t sure what it was. When I couldn’t figure it out, I got inside the car and left. It was time to go home.

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