Page 6 of Marked for Redemption

Power ruled their way of thinking. We couldn’t afford that. Every time we gained a little of it, D… I shook my head, not willing to let my reality bother me here. Inside my head and this… this… place. I was the only thing that mattered. Well, I guess Zendaya did, too. She’d been something I’d conjured up to take me away from the hellhole I was being held in. But then again, it always smelled clean and tended to, so maybe it wasn’t all that bad. Unless you counted me not knowing what was going on.

“The silence is loud, Colton.” She giggled. “What are you thinking?”

“It’s not important. I’d rather focus on you.” I admitted.

Women were a rare thing where I was. I didn’t want to violate her with the urges I had. She was special and something that only belonged to me. While she was here, I wanted to treat her that way. She was part of me, lived in my head. How horrid would it be to wreck that with vile thoughts? Could I keep coming back to this place with her if all I did was ruin and violate her in ways I wouldn’t if she were real? No. She’d be something I used and moved on from.

I needed something to hold on to. Something that would keep me fighting when I got back to my reality. It would hold me together and make it possible to get through the moments where I was the one being violated and controlled. Did I plan to touch her and claim her body? Yes. It didn’t have to be cruel, though.

I drew her into my arms. Her warmth was refreshing, as well as that unique scent of hers that smelled of rosewater and her sweetness. I buried my head in her neck and closed my eyes. Letting my hand travel the curves of her body, I committed it to memory. Hopefully, it would keep these memories fresh, so returning was easier. I forbid the day when I couldn’t figure out how to get back here.

Though it’d only been one dream prior to this one, it left quite the damn impression on me. My spirit calmed, and I felt more in tune with whom I was than ever before. Regardless of if I lived or died, being here is what I wanted to remember. It could also be my fighting chance. My guide out of this mess.

“Can you see the stars?” She asked.

Glancing upward, I saw the sky. I understood that this was ridiculous. A bed in the middle of nowhere, glancing at the mountains and the sky. Feeling none of the weather elements but enjoying the feel of her in my arms as we cuddled under the night sky. I pulled the blanket cloaking us tightly around her shoulders now and I massaged the heat into her cool shoulders.

“Yes, I see them,” I said, whispering against her forehead, before placing a chaste kiss there.

“I can’t recall ever having the time to just enjoy them. There’s always something that needs to be done or a place that I need to go. I’m not allowed to be quiet and still. Move and destroy are the only two rules that matter.” She turned to look at me. “When you fight, what do you do it for? Revenge? To see retribution? Or something else? What drives you, Colton?”

“I want to say free will, but that would be a lie. There’s too much at stake for anybody to say that. The Human Resistance just defeated the Shaye in a battle, my people. You can tell from their efforts that the Shaye doesn’t think they’ll win. Something is coming that I don’t think anybody is ready for. A rise in new power. I haven’t decided if it’s for the best or the worst. Which side of things am I on?” I sat up, trying to clear my head. “I didn’t mean to bring politics into this. It’s just that I’m sure that it’s part of why I’m being held captive. I’m not involved in anything else.”

“You’re captive?” She asked.

“I am. I didn’t want that to taint what happened with us here. It’s pure and lovely at the same time. The outside world is a horrible place to be. This person, a woman I presume, is part of that cruel world. She thinks she’s torturing me for the right reasons, but how does she ever expect to get answers from me when I don’t even understand why I’m here? That sounds stupid.”

“It could be. What if there’s another angle? Could she have a plan that is bigger than what you can comprehend?”

“Are you calling me stupid?” I scoffed.

“No, I’m saying that there is no way to understand what her methods are if you don’t know. I wouldn’t underestimate her.”

“She shouldn’t do that either. Without the drugs she’s keeping me drowsy with and the pain she’s dishing out, there’s no way that she could take me. She’s just like me. We’re both pawns in this thing, and I don’t think she even knows it.”

Zendaya moved to get out of bed. “It’s time for me to leave.”

Without the subtle departure she made last time, I felt abandoned when she abruptly left me here. I turned back to the stars and let the sky pull me into a lull of endless thoughts. Instead of trying to calm them, I closed my eyes tighter and gave in. Searching for traces of her through the storm proved pointless, so I waited for sleep to reach me here and when it did, I prayed I didn’t wake up to more of whatever methods she would use next.

For the next few cycles, I didn’t get the reprieve of Zendaya. Instead, it was all pain with no pleasure. She still refused to speak. She still denied the exchange of any information, and I was back to the brutal pain. It made me miss the more loving stands of the flogger and the way they welcomed me into their arms. Gone was the pleasure I received from them. Instead, she beat me until the aches seared my muscles polluted my thoughts of failure and death, and then it raped me with its thorns into my skin, daring me to defy the odds it dealt.

This was punishment. True torture that a madman or woman was issuing me so that I would learn a lesson. Without words, I wasn’t sure what I’d done to offend them or the parties they worked for. Being in the dark about it made me wonder if I’d made this up to keep my mind occupied while something else happened instead. Being unable to open my eyes or see, made reality blur into my thoughts, my dreams, and none of it seemed safe.

Without Zendaya around to offer a reprieve, it was rounds of abuse and agony. I couldn’t keep the information needed from them because it was a secret. Telling them what they wanted to know was impossible if the demands were unknown.

“What do you want?!” I screamed at them.

Silence followed, and the beating paused. I sighed in relief, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think that it was done. “If you tell me what you want, maybe we can stop this game and move on to something else. Can we agree to try that? Give me something…” I begged.

She said nothing. I heard a crack in the air as the air whooshed toward me. It was the only warning I had before blinding white pain exploded in my ass. Surprised, I shouted out, then roared in frustration.

“You conniving bitch!” I yelled her way. “Let me free and I’ll guarantee that you won’t get away with any of this! I hope whatever they’re paying you is worth it!”

My tantrum earned me a wicked giggle, and that was all. She finished her round of torture and then left me in silence once again. Though I was becoming used to her antics, it was the silence that I feared would break me.

It was the most traumatic-sounding thing and left me to wallow in the effects of what she’d done. Plus, my mind was creative. It pulled me into a spiral of thoughts that I couldn’t pull myself away from. Disheartening and loyal were two words that describe the monster that hovered above me, ready to strike. It wasn’t the woman with the implements or even the life I’d left behind. It was me. I feared that if I didn’t get a firm grasp on my mind, it’d break me first.

COLTON

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