Page 21 of Marked for Redemption

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“I am. Are you?”

I nodded. “Just need to keep breathing.”

“Why’d you come in here?” He asked.

“I thought you were being hurt. I came to help.”

“How was the human going to save the vampire?” His eyebrows bunched.

“I don’t know, but I would not let you get attacked either. They’d have to kill us both.”

“Cute. It wouldn’t have taken long for one of us to fall victim.” He sat on the edge of the bed, washing his face with his hands. His eyes were eerily bright, though the room was dark. I could see them and how he tried not to focus on me.

“What were your dreams about?” I wondered aloud.

“You.” He sighed. “Do you really not remember anything?”

“Nothing after the spell. Even being here, now, it’s difficult for me to wrap my head around. Vampires lived in a different realm from humans. We didn’t interact, let alone take them as slaves.”

“I know. Having memories of both isn’t easier. I can see the flaws in both and see different versions of vampires. I understand both worlds, but I can’t decide which is easier.”

“What’s difficult right now?”

“Once again, you.”

“Because I don’t understand? Or because I can’t remember?”

“Both. You’ll try to understand, and that’s fine. But it’s hard feeling how I feel about you… I’m torn and conflicted. Can’t yell those things out to you without you understanding why I’m angry, hurt, and not sure what to do about you. The life and manipulation of Zendaya and Colton taints the love we had as Renee and Alistair. I feel like I’m being punished and tortured twice.”

I crawled over to him slowly. He watched my every move as I did. Kneeling between his legs. I understood the risks of me being so close. I chose to be courageous. If things were to progress, one of us needed to take the first step. It was my father who caused the curse to be put into play. My actions of torturing him made him not trust me. My death made him have to bear the responsibility of me until we figured out a plan. If he turned me, we’d be connected as long as we lived. He had enough to worry about. It was my turn.

“Say what you feel. Don’t hold back because I don’t remember. Clear your mind, be angry, and hurt. Take that out on me however you need to.” I swallowed, hoping that I wouldn’t regret these words. “Even take my life if you choose so. I’ll keep fighting for us, and if that means freeing you this way, I understand.”

“You don’t get to be the fucking victim, Renee!” He roared. “For weeks, you used knives and sharp cutting tools to cut into my skin. You beat me with floggers, paddles, and shit that dug into my skin. Sure, I healed. You made sure of it so you could do it all again. You made my body betray me. It craved parts of the torture and got off on it. That wasn’t enough, was it?”

I balled my hands behind my back, twisting them into tangled fingers repeatedly. Had I done all this? Burying my emotions, I willed myself not to react to the harshness of our reality. I pushed him, though. He needed to say everything. Get the anger out.

“No, Colton. It wasn’t.”

He was on me quickly, pressing me into the floor as he hovered. I took a deep breath, afraid to let it out. His face was inches away from mine. His fangs elongated, and anger tensed his entire body, making it ready to attack.

“Being in my head… You made me trust you. I’d figured that it was a trauma response, creating you to stay grounded and away from the craziness that the darkness created. Blindfolded without light is dangerous when your thoughts are running wild. I needed light. Something that was kind, sweet, affectionate, and not so cold to get me through those days. You became my salvation. The reason I fought so hard. I could feel the stirring in my heart for you. Do you know how insane that sounds? Having your control taken away and not even being offered any sound but your own pain, how do you think you’d fare? Falling for an image of someone you thought you conjured up. Your idea of the perfect fucking female. How would you survive that?”

“The same way I am now.” I turned my head to the side, submitting to him because I was in his exact place. Vulnerable. Not just now, but every day.

He allowed me the limits I had. The vampires running around could have me at any moment. Even during the day, I didn’t know enough to survive in this world. Sunlight controlled them. In my old life, that wasn’t a factor. It would take time for me to gain the skills I needed to move on. Sadly enough, the one thing I feared was that I was slowly dying. The hair loss, bleeding, and constraints of this new body didn’t convince me I was okay. I was always hungry and nothing seemed to satisfy my appetite.

Colton licked the side of my neck along the vein. “I don’t have to love you to feed and fuck you.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

“Me either. I’m sorry that I was cruel to you. There had to be a reason–”

His teeth scratched along my vein in warning as he growled.

---