Page 5 of Carnival Monster

As the Ferris wheel carries her higher, I feel myself being pulled in two directions. The familiar darkness calls to me, promising the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of the kill. But her gaze holds a different promise of connection, understanding, and life beyond the shadows.

My breath comes in ragged gasps as I struggle with these warring impulses. The urge to hurt and dominate battles against a newfound desire to cherish and protect. I stand frozen between the monster I’ve become and the man I could be.

4

AURORA

We wander the carnival, taking in all the sights, sounds, and smells. Charlotte and Dan chatter excitedly beside me, pointing out the attractions they want to try.

“We’ve got to come back on Halloween night!” Charlotte exclaims, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Can you imagine how amazing it’ll be? All the costumes and the spooky atmosphere?”

Dan nods enthusiastically. “Definitely! We can dress up and really get into the spirit of Halloween.”

I grin at their enthusiasm, feeling a flutter of excitement in my chest. “I’m in! Halloween night at the carnival sounds perfect.”

As we make our way through the crowd, I scan the surrounding faces, searching for a glimpse of the masked man from the haunted house. My skin tingles at the memory of his touch, and I crave that again.

Charlotte notices my distraction and nudges me. “Still thinking about your mystery man?”

I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. “I can’t help it,” I admit. “There was just something about him...”

Dan rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Well, perhaps you’ll run into him again. Maybe on Halloween night, when everyone’s in costume and feeling more daring.”

I nod a small smile on my lips. “Maybe. Halloween night could be the perfect time for a little adventure.”

We approach the Ferris wheel, and it looks like an utter death trap that should have been put out of commission years ago, and my fucked up head is excited by that. Waiting in line, my mind won’t quit thinking about the masked man. His hands on my body, the intensity in those blue eyes… It’s hard to believe that one encounter has ignited something deep within—a craving like none I’ve felt before.

Charlotte leans in close. “You know, if you find your masked man on Halloween night, maybe he’ll be the one who makes you want to lose your V-card.”

Her words make my cheeks flush because I sense she’s right. For a long time, I’ve known I’m a little broken. Anytime I’d hook up with guys, I felt nothing—no desire, no need to take things further than a kiss. And alone, the only thing that gets me off are immoral, fucked-up thoughts and fantasies. And something tells me that the man from the haunted house is just as dark and fucked-up as I am.

Stepping onto the Ferris wheel car, I sense I’m being watched. I can feel eyes on me, even amid the crowds. My skin prickles with anticipation, and I scan the crowd below.

The Ferris wheel moves, lifting us higher and higher into the night sky. The twinkling lights of the carnival stretch below us, and I forget about everything else for a moment. It’s just me, the cool breeze, and the exhilaration of being suspended in midair.

But then, I feel it again. That prickling sensation at the base of my neck, as if someone’s gaze is boring into me. I turn slowly, my heart pounding, and there he is. Standing beneath the Ferris wheel, his eyes focused on me.

In that moment, everything else fades away. The carnival, the lights, the laughter disappear, and it’s just him and me. I feel a rush of heat through my body, a desire unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

As the cage disappears over the top, I lose sight of him. I need to approach him once I get back onto the ground and explore this electric connection we share. Deep down, I know he’s the one who can finally bring me back from the brink. The one who can ignite that dormant need that lies within me.

It feels like the descent takes forever, but finally, we step off the Ferris wheel. My eyes quickly survey the crowd, looking for him, but he’s nowhere to be found. Disappointment washes over me, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed my chance.

“Hey, you okay?” Dan asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just... thought I saw someone.”

Charlotte raises an eyebrow, a knowing smirk on her lips. “Your masked man, perhaps?”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t deny the truth in her words. “Maybe. But it doesn’t matter now. He’s gone.”

Dan glances around. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving. How about we grab something to eat?”

The thought of food makes my stomach churn, but I know I can’t spend the rest of the night obsessing over a stranger. “Sure, let’s do it,” I agree, trying to muster some enthusiasm.

Making our way through the carnival, I feel like I’m being watched. The hairs on my neck stand on end, and I look over my shoulder every few seconds.

But he’s not there. The carnival is alive with laughter and chatter, but I feel disconnected.

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