Page 39 of Carnival Monster

Gage: The carnival leaves in four days. You need to forget me. Darkness follows me everywhere.

I bite my lip, considering his warning. Forget him? After the connection we’ve shared, the way he’s ignited a fire within me I can’t extinguish? No, I won’t let him go, not when I’ve finally found someone who understands the desires that haunt me.

With a deep breath, I type out my response, my fingers moving with a newfound determination.

I can’t forget you. I know the risks, but I’m willing to take them. Please, don’t push me away. I need you, darkness and all.

I hit send, my heart pounding in my chest. I wait with bated breath for his reply. I’ve laid my heart bare, exposing the depths of my desire, and now I can only hope that Gage will see the truth in my words.

Finally, the familiar chime sounds, and I eagerly open the message.

Gage: I can’t control the darkness. If I slip up again, I may be unable to save you.

I read his words, the weight of their meaning settling heavily in my chest. He’s right, I don’t fully understand the depths of his darkness, the danger that lurks within him. But that only makes me want him more.

Instead of replying, I decide I’ll go to the carnival after work tonight, and find him to make him understand why we’re meant to be together. Perhaps asking him to play out a rape fantasy was a step too far too soon, but I know that now. I’m sure I can help keep his darkness in check.

I step into the shower, the hot water cascading over my skin. When I glance up, I glimpse my reflection in the mirror as the steam fills the bathroom. My eyes widen as I notice the dark bruises encircling my neck, a stark reminder of Gage’s powerful hands wrapped around my throat.

I trace my fingers over the marks, a shiver running down my spine. The memory of his touch, the way he choked me to the brink of death, sends a wave of heat through my body. The sight of these bruises would make a different woman run as far away from him as possible.

But the bruises are like a visible collar, a mark of his ownership over me. As the water cascades over me, I let my hands roam over my skin, imagining they’re his. I touch myself, my fingers sliding between my legs, teasing and stroking until I’m panting with need. The ache inside me grows, a desperate longing for his touch, his possession.

As I bring myself closer to the edge, I imagine Gage’s hands around my throat, squeezing tighter and tighter until I’m gasping for air. The thought of surrendering to him completely, of letting him take me to the brink of death and back again, sends me over the edge. I cry out his name, my body shaking with the force of my release.

Stepping out of the shower, my skin is flushed from the heat and the lingering effects of my fantasies. As I towel off, I catch another glimpse of the bruises around my neck in the mirror. A shiver runs through me, and I glance away, focusing on getting dressed for work.

I slip into my grocery store uniform, buttoning the polo shirt up to hide the marks on my neck. The last thing I need is for anyone at work to see the evidence of my encounter with Gage and to ask questions.

When I arrive at the store, I spot Dan restocking shelves in the produce section. He looks up and waves, smiling. I approach him, trying to act casual.

“Hey, Aurora! How was your date last night?” Dan asks.

My cheeks heat, and I realize I’d forgotten about bumping into Dan last night. “Oh, um, it was... good,” I stammer, avoiding his gaze.

Dan raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying my vague response. “Just good? Come on, Aurora, I know you better than that. Spill the details!”

I fidget with the hem of my shirt, trying to find the right words. “Well, we... we had sex,” I admit.

Dan’s eyes widen, and a grin spreads across his face. “No way! Congratulations, girl!”

I can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm, even as I feel a twinge of guilt. If he knew I fucked the man who hurt Charlotte, he’d probably have me committed. But I push those thoughts aside, focusing on the bliss of experiencing the intimacy I’ve craved for so long.

“Thanks, Dan,” I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “It was... intense.”

Dan nods, a knowing look in his eye. “I get it. The first time has a way of hooking you. Just be careful, okay? Make sure this guy treats you right.”

I swallow hard, the bruises on my neck seeming to throb at his words. “I will,” I promise, even as I know that the danger is part of what draws me to Gage.

23

GAGE

Istalk through the haunted house, my movements mechanical and lacking their usual predatory grace. The screams and shrieks of terror that once fueled me now fall flat, echoing hollowly in my ears. I go through the motions, jumping out at unsuspecting victims, but my heart isn’t in it.

This time of year usually ignites a dark fire within me, a hunger that only the fear and suffering of others could satisfy. But now, after what I almost did to Aurora, something foreign and unsettling has taken root. Remorse, a feeling I never thought I’d experience, gnaws at my insides like a festering wound.

Images of Aurora’s limp body haunt me. The memory of her pulse fluttering weakly beneath my fingertips seared into my mind. The realization of how close I came to snuffing out her light, to losing her forever, weighs heavily on my conscience.

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