Page 85 of Heat Hesitation

Dave and Lenny, I remember now, take the seat on either side of me on the couch, carefully, tentatively, caressing my arms. I cringe and pull away. For some reason, they let me, but Lenny leans in closer and sniffs.

"She smelled better than you. Like lilacs. Fresh hydrangeas. My grandmother used to have these big hydrangea trees; I loved spending my summers outside, smelling the flowers in the breeze. That's how I knew she was the one. She smelled so good. Like home."

I pull away and snap, "And that's why you sent her away like yesterday's trash? Took her virginity and left her lying alone and cold on the floor?"

"It wasn't like that!" Jackson's roars. "We told her we wanted her but that we couldn't…" he searches frantically, eyes whipping back and forth, trying to find the words. It's almost like he's rewriting history in his mind.

That's why I'm here. They want a chance to fix what they broke.

"Jackson—"

The fourth pack member, Sven, hands me a glass of water. I eye the contents.

"It's safe," he reassures me.

Right… I take a small sip, the tiniest, and let the cold water sit on my tongue, waking my senses. It's not enough, but it's something. I don't dare drink anymore. Instead, I hold the cold glass between my hands, wrapping my fingers around the condensation.

"You couldn't what? Be with her publicly?"

"I wanted her!" Lenny shouts, but Dave argues, "You didn't even fight for her when Jackson said to leave her!"

"Enough!" Jackson stands abruptly, his chair scraping against the hard wood of the cabin floor.

"What am I doing here, Jackson? You know I'm not her. I'm not Alma… and I'm bonded. I have a pack."

He turns, his hand frozen in his hair, with a glare that could melt ice. "Your supposed pack doesn't care about you. They only half bonded you."

"Not all packs bond right aw—"

"It doesn't matter. I miss Alma. I barely had her, and I miss her so much I can't sleep or eat. I bring lilac perfume to the heat clinics, spray down omegas in the heat, and pretend they're her. It doesn't work. But then… then I saw you. Your picture. In the Rag. And I thought this is it. That's her, that's my Alma."

He's whispering now, pleading. Something tells me there's lilac perfume somewhere in this cabin. According to Fletcher, they should be banned from being with any omega, even at the clinics. They shouldn't have passed the vetting process.

Dave comes to a stand, "We can't stay here long. The freak will track her down; they'll find this place."

"We have time."

Dave looks like he wants to argue, but instead, nods once, turning to me again with that look of longing in his eyes. "I missed you, Alma."

Lenny reaches out and caresses a strand of hair falling from my perfect updo. The guys are never gonna let me live this down. And they won't let me out of their sight again, either. So, I need to save myself. I need to get out of this.

Jackson and Dave disappear into another room while Lenny talks to me like I'm Alma, with Sven watching on. Lenny asks what I think of the new season of Alpha Island and if I thought the pack should stay here in Arrow Cove or retire somewhere closer to the ocean because I always loved the ocean. He goes on and on, like we're catching up on old times.

"How did you know that?" I interrupt his musings.

"You wrote about it. You were so curious about the world. Remember, you said you wanted to try snorkeling—"

"Lenny, how did you know those things about Alma? You only knew her for an hour."

"Like he said," Sven provides, "she wrote about it." At least Sven is cognizant enough to realize I'm not Alma.

"Wanna see?" Lenny asks, lighting up beside me.

Do not leave the room with this lunatic, Ophelia. Don't do it. "Sure."

Lenny's face lights up like a golden retriever; my head wars between hating this man because of what he did to my sister—he abducted me—and yet, I can't help but feel bad for him. He's sick. I shouldn't follow him into another room, but I need to know what's happening. I need to understand.

Lenny grips my hand with a lover's caress and leads me out of the room. My system feels shaky, my limbs still recovering from whatever they drugged me with.

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