Page 70 of Monsters of Air

I didn’t say anything as I tried to find wood dry enough to light, Zilon scouring only feet from me. We had done this every night, but now I wasn’t sure what to say to him.

“How did it happen exactly?” Zilon finally asked in a low voice.

“What?” I said stupidly, I knew what he was asking, after all. Stupid.

“The bonding with Philit. How did that happen?”

I leaned back on my heels, finally meeting his eyes. He was trying so hard to hide his pain, but it was beaming from his eyes in lines of silver. I felt like it held a tight hold on my lungs.

“I told you. I fell off the precipice. He caught me.” My stomach swooped at the memory. It was something that should have been exciting, but thanks to Philit there was only pain there.

“With his claws?”

I shook my head, “No, but he tried. I tried to grab onto him, he tried to grab onto me. In the end I landed on his back and…” that zing moved through my body again and I looked up, right to where I was sure Philit was somewhere in the trees. “It just happened. I don’t think either of us did anything. It’s like his dragon just knew what to do.”

“There’s more.” It wasn’t a question, I guess my pause at the orgasmic memory had not gone unnoticed.

My face heated, remembering just exactly how we were attached together. “A lot more, but not anything I’m comfortable talking about.”

He nodded slowly. “Too personal?”

“Let’s just say there is a reason dragons and riders don’t talk about it. You have to…” my body was growing far too hot. “Experience it.”

Those last two words came out in a squeak and Zilon chuckled.

Zilon shifted, arranging the last of the sticks before he began to strike flint and tinder to light the fire. He leaned in, his arm brushing against mine. We both froze. That same heat was there as the last time we touched, nothing had changed. It would almost be easier if it had.

“I’ve been in love before, you know,” he whispered, his skin hot against mine. I straightened, staring at his hands as he struck flint again and again.

“You have?” I was squeaking again. My heart was feeling like it was being split into two, which it shouldn’t. Why should it? I was bonded to Philit. Philit who didn’t want me.

Could anything about any of this make a damn bit of sense?

I mean, if Philit was rejecting me, couldn’t I just reject him and pick Zilon instead? My body sure seemed to want to.

“Yes. I do. Or I did.” Zilon shook his head, his hand stilling. “She was over for dinner when I shifted for the first time. It was our engagement dinner. There… there wasn’t anyone left.”

His hands picked up, the furious pace of flint striking steel sending sparks from his palms, even after they hit the tinder and caught fire.

“Zilon… Zilon… Stop. It’s okay.” I put my hands over his, stopping the movement that had turned into a panic. Pain was dripping from him as his ragged breathing hitched over the struggling fire.

“It’s not, though. I betrayed her. I didn’t save her. So…” His words thickened before they faded away, his eyes closing. He looked like he was in so much pain. “I never thought I could recover. That I could find it in me not to blame myself. To love. To turn this ache into something else. But, I did.”

I reached out and touched his hand, needing that contact between us. I couldn’t comfort him like I wanted, but I could at least let him know I was there. His eyes opened, focusing on that spot where we touched.

“I think I understand what everyone means now,” he whispered. “About dragons and their riders. I met you and I got it. The connection felt perfect, it took so much of that ache away. But it couldn’t bring back what I had lost. It couldn’t…”

After swallowing my emotions, I said, “But you lost her because you are a dragon.”

He blinked furiously, those eyes that looked like air in spring burrowing into me, taking my breath away. “And gained you because I was one… or I did.”

I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how to fix it, which was so much worse.

He had been my choice. I had felt a connection to him.

“What if I chose you?” I breathed, not knowing if it was even possible.

“Chose me? But Philit–”

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