I almost roll my eyes. “You’ve seen us go at it before.”
“Never like that.” She snags another berry from my lunch and pops it into her mouth. “And don’t think we didn’t realize you could have ended it sooner.”
“None of us know that. Nina and Marcus are a lot to handle. I didn’t drop to the bottom of that sinkhole by choice.”
Her lips twist to the side. “Still. You weren’t trying.”
I’m trying to get through this. I’m trying to think of an explanation for the debacles sweeping across the kingdom, and I’m trying to forget the dark side of my magic. All I want is for it to be over—to get back to normal life. Or as things stand, my new normal life. One where Jamys is taking up residence in my heart. The line of succession’s potential shift would have been enough excitement, but with everything being fluid, it’s a natural opportunity to let my feelings change too.
Isn’t that enough of an effort? How many upheavals could I handle at one time?
Chapter thirty
Swords clash as Rylan and Tomas train in the courtyard. I’ve never understood my brothers’ insistence on mastering swordplay. In what circumstance would they possibly prefer swords to magic? It’s all to put on airs. For Tomas, it’s at least logical—not that he isn’t also showing off. Showing off his strength, stamina. The graceful way he moves is mesmerizing even if I weren’t mentally equating it all to my more intimate knowledge of how his body moves.
I pull a cool gust to my face. How long after our last time will these errant thoughts continue to haunt me?
Marcus appears at my shoulder. “Ara.” This is a suitable distraction.
“Hello, Marcus.”
“I believe I owe you an apology.” It’s about time.
“Go ahead then.”
He blinks a few times. “That was it.”
“That wasn’t an apology. All you did was say you need to apologize.”
“Fine. I apologize.”
I press my hands over my eyes as I consider throwing him across the yard. “You’re terrible at this.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “I wanted to help Nina. I know you understand that.” He motions toward Rylan with his chin.
“How would it have helped her for you to drown?”
“You can’t make this easy, can you?”
“You’re one to talk! Do you know how terrifying that was?” Even if he didn’t think I was shaken by my similar situation in Lambridge, he must know I’d be horrified by his possible death. And to have been a part of it!
“I am sorry.”
I take his hand in mine. “I care for you more than this absurd competition. You are more important to me than a crown.”
“I know. I’m sorry I used that against you.”
“Thank you.” I sigh as I consider the incident again. “Marcus, did you feel anything odd about our powers clashing that way?”
“It was certainly frustrating to be thwarted.” His tight smile isn’t as casual as he thinks. “Why?”
“No reason.”
His mouth scrunches to one side, as if he’s considering asking me something. “Right, then. I’ll just…” Or that’s all I’ll get.
As he walks away, I call out, “You’re as bad at ending a conversation as you are at apologizing.”
He only turns and shrugs before continuing toward Ry and Tomas. “Can the defeated contender still compete in this?”