Page 49 of Princess of Air

“We’re glad to have you home.” Josslyn loops her arm through mine and pulls me inside. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. If I had known ahead of time that Tomas was coming, I’d have insisted you come as well.”

She snickers and shakes her head. “No, thank you. Being around the two of you is difficult enough. I don’t know if it would be better or worse with you fighting, but I’m glad I wasn’t there. I don’t want to be in the middle of that mess.”

“There isn’t any mess.” I let out a long breath. “Not anymore.”

“That’s for the best.”

I suck my lips in as I nod. We reach the staircase which leads to my rooms, but I still feel pulled elsewhere. “Jo, you go ahead. I’ll meet you up there shortly.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just going to get a little something from the kitchen.” I don’t even know why I’m lying. My real intention isn’t anything that needs to be hidden. It’s just hard to explain when I don’t understand it myself.

“They hate when you do that. Ask a maid to get you something.”

I smile as I pull away from her. “Oh, Mary must have missed me.”

“I doubt it!” Jo calls behind me and starts up the stairs with a huff.

Rather than slipping into the back hallway, I pop up the staircase to the bridge. There might as well be a rope tied round my chest for the way I’m drawn out there. The rest of my party arrives at the front of the palace as I cross the bridge. When I step into the noisy cave, the rushing sound of water on the other side of its walls filling the space, calm washes over me.

My eyes shut, and my shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. I’m where I’m meant to be, even if I’m not sure why.

“Bell?”

My calm shatters as I turn to see Tomas sitting against a wall, his arms crossed and resting on his knees. “What are you doing here?” I ask too sharply.

“It’s as good a place to be as any.”

“Yes, equally as comfortable as the sitting room and lounge.” I drop to the ground next to him—not so far as to look like I’m trying to put distance between us, but not close enough to be intimate.

He focuses his gaze forward, away from me. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

We’re usually good at being quiet in each other’s presence, but this silence makes my fingers rap on my ankle.

“How was Brasport?” he asks eventually.

“Lovely, actually.”

“Good.” His gaze drops to his feet. “Did you enjoy your time with Jamys?”

“I did.” That simple fact, which I was so pleased by, now makes my stomach sink. I shouldn’t feel guilty about time spent with Jamys. On the contrary, it’s my memories with Tomas that are problematic. Now, the closeness with Jamys rings like betrayal.

“Was that why you were upset I went to Lambridge with you?” Tomas keeps his focus away from me. “Because you wanted the time with him?”

“I suppose it was.” We’ve known I’d be with Jamys after the wedding, but something about admitting I could have any kind of relationship with him before that feels like infidelity. Marrying him without much say in the matter was one thing, but if I develop feelings for him now…

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get in the way of that.”

Didn’t you? I keep the thought to myself. There isn’t an answer that would be good for either of us. “It turned out to be a good thing you were there.” Not because of the sex. “Although, I suppose if there hadn’t been an attempt on your life, I wouldn’t have nearly killed anyone.” I shrug at my own circular argument.

His eyes meet mine and sparkle with unspoken thoughts. The urge to reach out and brush my fingers through his hair is agonizing. I would kill for you. There is no safety for anyone who would hurt you. Isn’t that what the events of that night proved? I’d have defended anyone, but my violent reaction was based on it being Tomas. He must know that as well as I do.

His throat bobs, then his lips turn up in a coy grin. “I suppose it was good practice for the trials, though.”

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