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“Nothing outside of the ordinary, I don’t think.” I shook my head. “I don’t really need my pills at all anymore.”

“Good. That’s good.” Dr. Washington hummed before his hands went toward my cast. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

I shook my head again, and his usual procedure began from there. He expertly removed my cast, his hands soon brushing alongside my skin, searching for a visible response from me in terms of pain or strangeness. I mostly held my breath throughout the examination, even when he stood me up for X-rays, Nicholas helping me stand as he did.

When all was said and done, I let out an exasperated breath before taking in a few, deeper ones, my chest thankful for finally getting the proper amount of air in my lungs.

“Good news, Parker,” Dr. Washington started. “It looks like you’re in the clear to put some pressure on your leg again. Now, I don’t want you going too hard right off the bat. I know how you nature lover types are.”

He chuckled at his own joke before he went on. “But I do want you to try and walk every now and again, as long as it doesn’t hurt. If it hurts, give it a rest and try again the next day. You don’t need to push yourself. You just need to heal.”

“Got it. No pushing myself. Only healing,” I summarized his points. “Sounds good to me.”

“Sounds good to me, too,” Nicholas added from the corner, his chest rapidly rising and falling just like mine?—

Almost like he’d been as nervous as me about the appointment.

“You’ve got this, Parker. You’ve got this. Come on. Walk over to me.”

Nicholas was standing at the other end of the hallway, as I tried to put pressure on my leg for the first time. My cast was leaning against the wall and my confidence was at about zero point zero. I hadn’t thought about this part, how difficult it was really going to be to start walking again, training my body on its basic functions for a second time in my life.

Still, I took a deep breath as I pressed my foot against the floor.

So far, so good?

There wasn’t any radiating pain, no sign that anything was going terribly wrong. Encouraged, I started to take my first step?—

And that was when my broken leg really started to feel like a broken leg.

“Shit, shit, shit!” I wobbled to the left and to the right, fearful that I was about to land face first against the ground. Within seconds, Nicholas was in front of me, his hands steadying me at my torso.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he said, trying to reassure me. “We can just try again tomorrow?—”

“Fuck! I can’t even fucking—” I was suddenly overwhelmed with frustration, tears threatening to spill from behind my eyes. “How am I supposed to do anything if I can’t even take a fucking step?”

“Hey, this is a process, Parker. At least you were able to stand up, right? And then, maybe in a few days, you’ll be able to take a few steps?—”

Nicholas went quiet as I started to silently cry, tears rolling down my cheeks as I shook my head.

“It’s too hard. Everything is just too fucking hard.”

“You’re allowed to feel however you feel.” Nicholas’ voice was low. “But we’re still going to try again tomorrow. We’re going to keep going until you’re back to where you were, until you’re back to complaining about hikes being too long and hills being too steep.”

“That would be the one benefit of never walking again, never having to go with you on one of your death hikes, either,” I joked through my tears.

Nicholas let out a soft laugh. “You’re not getting off that easy, sweetheart. We’ll be going on one of those death hikes in the next few months. Just you wait and see.”

“You ready to go?” Nicholas asked, as he finished packing his hiking backpack, stuffing a thermos into a spot at its side.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I sighed as I finished packing my backpack up, too. Nicholas claimed to have found a new hiking spot that I was going to love, even though I had my reservations. I suspected that the main reason we were going hiking today was that I’d been back on my feet for a few weeks now, and I was running out of my usual excuses for why I couldn’t get back out into the great, wide world. It was hard for me to admit that I was still a little scared, still afraid that despite my doctor’s approval and the lack of pain in my leg, everything was back to normal.

Because what if it wasn’t?

What if we approached our first steep part of the climb and the pain came right back to me?

What if my hiking days were just… done?

“Come on. We should get a move on before other people are out on the trail.” Nicholas’ words interrupted my thoughts. He beamed over at me before he held out his hand.

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