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And yet, all I was able to think about were the butterflies that erupted from my stomach when he held me, the way I never wanted to leave his arms…

I cursed under my breath, annoyed with myself beyond belief. It was one thing to have my mind blown by hooking up with Nicholas, it was another thing entirely to crave that kind of close connection with him, to want to break down the walls of practical and spend the whole night pressed close to his chest.

Fuck.

I wanted him. I really, really wanted him.

But I didn’t want to fuck up what we had, either, even if it was so much less than I really wanted.

“Did you sleep okay?” Nicholas’ voice greeted me as I stepped into the kitchen, one of his hands swirling bits of egg around in the pan.

“Yeah. I slept okay,” I replied, even though it was only half-true. I’d struggled to get to sleep with Nicholas next to me, every part of me yearning for him to fuck me, kiss me, touch me, claim me. He hadn’t made another move after we came back from our hike, which I knew was perfectly normal but couldn’t deny that the butterflies had taken it as a slight against me.

How dare he?

Didn’t he want me as much as I wanted him?

“I slept pretty okay, too.” He flashed me a smile as he finished with the eggs, sliding them onto a separate plate. “Hiking always helps with that. Uses up so much energy that you can’t wait to just pass out once your head hits the pillow.”

I flashed a smile right back at him, quietly wondering if he’d added that detail about being low on energy to explain away his lack of touching me last night. “Did you see that it snowed?”

“Oh, yeah.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “Came out of nowhere but that’s no surprise. It wouldn’t be the first time we had a random snowstorm up here. I know it looks like a lot but don’t be too alarmed. Usually, by the next day, it’s gone again. Never seems to stick for too long?—”

Nicholas’ response was interrupted by his phone ringing. He quickly answered it, holding it up to his ear. “Hello?”

I watched as his features shifted from serious to absolutely delighted by something, his lips eventually curving into another smile. “That sounds good to me. What time were you thinking about heading out?”

Nicholas silently nodded before wrapping up his phone conversation. “All right. We’ll see you out there.”

He placed his phone back down on the kitchen island before grabbing for a plate of his own. I watched as he evenly divided the bacon and eggs, sliding a plate over toward me.

“What was that about?” I asked, grateful for the breakfast, my fork already invading the plate. “You making plans with some of your friends for later?”

“Even better.” He smirked. “Apparently, with the snowstorm, a few of the guys are taking the day off, barring any emergencies.”

“Got it. So, you’re all going to hang out?”

“We’re all going to hang out,” Nicholas corrected, with another smirk. “Including you. You’re coming, too.”

“Coming to do what?”

Nicholas leaned toward me, with his eyes now locked on mine. “How do you feel about snowmobiles?”

I’d never ridden a snowmobile in my life.

Still, that hadn’t stopped me from agreeing to join Nicholas and his firefighter buddies out on the snowy mountainside, despite my complete lack of knowledge and potential to end up dead or hurt or something worse. I took a deep breath as I looked around the rolling, white banks, imagining the million ways there were for things to go very, very wrong for me.

I then spared a look down at my outfit, slightly shifting on my feet as discomfort made its way up my spine. It wasn’t that the clothes themselves were uncomfortable, they were just so far off from being something I would’ve typically worn. I’d stopped in town with Nicholas to pick something up for the mountain and now I looked like some kind of pro athlete with way too expensive shoes and way too expensive gear.

Ugh.

I just felt like such a phony. Wouldn’t Nicholas’ friends be able to smell it on me immediately? The fact that I was just playing dress up to impress him? How long was it going to take before one of them called me out on being such a fake?

How long was it going to take before they realized I didn’t belong out here, at all?

“You okay?” Nicholas asked, his fingers softly brushing an errant snowflake away from my cheek. “You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to?—”

“No, I want to,” I interrupted him, shaking my head. “I’m just a little nervous. That’s all.”