Page 88 of Sovereign Oaths

Javi watched me. “There’s no saving him. You might not think he’s an enemy, and he might not be yours, but that doesn’t change the Pack’s opinion. That doesn’t change the things he’s done.”

“Nothing is black and white. We know that better than most.” Marco waited for me to look at him. “But he’s a murderer.”

“So am I.”

He closed his eyes.

“He’s killed countless innocent people—women and children. You’ve followed orders.” Derek rested his chin on my shoulder.

“There’s no difference.” Couldn’t they see that? We weren’t good people. I never claimed to be. What gave us the right to take out rivals?

“Remember the mission.” Javi squeezed my thigh. “We’re so close to being done.”

“This isn’t even our fight.” I sagged, more exhausted than I’d ever been.

It was like the past few months of repressed emotions, fears, and questions all collapsed on me at once. Today changed things.

“I don’t fucking care. I don’t care about Miami’s drug or weapon market. I don’t care about Brazzi or Alessio. I don’t care about who runs territory in Mexico or Texas or Louisiana. I don’t care about strangers and how they live their lives.”

“Neither do we,” Derek agreed.

“We’re here to take down the competition, then we can go home,” Marco tried.

“Why?” My voice cracked, but I wasn’t done. “So the Pack has more money? So they have more access to the same drugs and weapons Dias is trafficking? It’s all disgusting greed. We’ve dedicated our lives to the Pack, doing everything they ask, and once this is over, we’ll go back. To what? I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to go back to being another asset. I don’t want to keep killing people because El Lobo says so. I want to be done. But it will never end! The cycle will never be over. It will never be enough. When we’re done here, there will be another rival to take out. Ten or thirty years from now, it will all be the same. I’ll be a tool for them to use, but what happens when they no longer see me as valuable? What then? When they’ve taken everything I have to give? Do I get to walk away? When do I ever get my own life?”

I stopped and stared at the wall.

What was the point? It would never end, and if it did, it would be the end of me. They’d have no use for me and would get rid of me just as easily as I’d gotten rid of my victims.

“Do you trust us?” Javi asked after a full minute of silence.

I tilted my head and met his brown eyes. “Of course.”

“Then let us handle this.” Marco wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I leaned into him. “I think our Em needs us to take care of her tonight.”

His words surprised me, and I peered around the room.

Javi, Cruz, and Derek looked back at us, curious.

He leaned back against the headboard, lifting me with him so I sat between his outstretched legs, my back against his chest.

“Javi, can you undress her?” Marco asked, but it was more of an order.

“With pleasure.” Javi gave me a sly grin as he stepped forward and lifted the hem of my shirt. I sat up so he could pull it over my head and while I did, Marco unhooked my bra. I slipped the straps over my shoulders, and Cruz took it from me, dropping it to the ground.

They watched me, but it wasn’t with hunger or need. It was reverence.

“Lift your hips, princess,” Marco whispered, so I did.

Cruz and Javi pulled off my pants and underwear.

His hands slipped up my hips, over my stomach, and stopped on my breasts. Instead of gripping or squeezing as I expected, he gently cupped them with his palm flat over my nipples, holding me while slowly rubbing his fingers back and forth.

It was more comforting than arousing.

I hadn’t known it was exactly what I was craving.

“We’ll make you feel better,” Marco said between placing kisses along the column of my neck.“Who wants to go first?”