Page 91 of Abandoned Oaths

He laughed. “That would probably be a good idea. I doubt anyone would survive wearing a sweater around that many people. I recommend wearing much, much less.”

My cheeks heated. The bastard shouldn’t have that effect on me, but after our night together, it was difficult to tell my body that.

I closed my eyes as if that would make the guys disappear. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“Good.”

“I’ll see you there tonight.” I hung up before he could say anything to bring the burn back to my cheeks and lowered my phone to my lap. When I looked at the guys, only Javier remained.

His face was blank, hiding his thoughts from me. We stared at each other until he sighed and came to sit next to me.

“We shouldn’t be making this any harder for you. That’s not what we’re here for.” He reached for my hand, but froze and pulled back. “We’re your team. Your backup. Our feelings and attractions shouldn’t interfere with what you have to do.”

I licked my lips, finding no words.

“You do whatever you have to. We won’t judge you,” he said.

“But you––”

“Don’t think about me or the others. You’re the one taking the risk with him. Getting as close as possible. If that means opening yourself up to him to let some things be real, do it.”

He was telling me to be with another man? That wasn’t him or his brother? I knew it was what I had to do, but having him tell me felt different. I didn’t need it, but I hadn’t realized I wanted permission.

“When you’re with him, I want you to forget about us, okay?”

I didn’t want to agree. I wanted to tell him what I felt with them was real, but it wasn’t completely true. It also wasn’t why we were here.

“Can you do that?”

I tried to nod, but I didn’t want to lie to him. “I can try.”

“It’s okay. You do whatever you need, and want, to do.”

Shit. My eyes burned as tears formed.

He wrapped his arms around me. “Hey, you’re the toughest person in the world. You’ve got nothing to prove to any of us. But this whole fucked up situation is hard. Probably the hardest thing any of us have done. You need to give it your everything. Don’t worry about us or our feelings. Keep your head in the game. You can’t split your focus.”

Fuck him for knowing exactly what I was thinking. For being sensitive enough to address it. For taking away some of the pain and guilt.

“Tonight, you’ll do your job. Keep your eyes and ears open. You’re going to get another glimpse into his world and meet important people. You need to be one hundred percent present. Listen and remember. We’ll be around in case something happens, but don’t look for us. Be there. Be with Alessio and Ama.”

This was the pep talk I hadn’t known I needed and the one I craved from day one.

“You’re the one here for a reason. You’re the most qualified person in the entire Pack for this exact mission. You’re a killer. A fucking badass. But you’re also gentle, caring, and genuine. It’s the whole reason why it only took one conversation to hook Alessio. No one else could have done that. So fuck everything else. When you’re with him, you are Millie Torres. When you’re with us, you’re Emilia. Got it?”

I sucked in a breath. “Got it.”

I needed to hear and remember his final words. Compartmentalize. Be who I needed to be. I wasn’t giving myself over to Alessio. Millie was. Emilia could pine for the guys and the future we’d never have, but once I stepped out the doors, that person disappeared.

Derek stayed at the door, blending into the mass of people as I entered the thumping room. Alessio wanted to pick me up again, but I convinced him to let me meet him here. It was easier getting all the guys here at once if he wasn’t around to see.

After hacking into the caterer’s system and putting them on shift for the event, Javier and Marco dressed in all black—slacks and button downs. The car dropped them off a few blocks away so no one would see them arriving with me.

Cruz had his own invitation and made an entrance a few minutes before me, scoping it out and giving the all-clear for Derek and me to join.

While the plan worked flawlessly to this point, I was now regretting it.

There were so many people. Bodies pressed against each other, leaving only a few inches of a path between them. Alessio and Ama were nowhere to be seen. Her long dark hair and silver dress would have been a showstopper anywhere but here where that described half the women dancing.

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