Page 79 of Diamond Don

“Respect your boundaries?” I hear myself roaring. “You’ve lost your mind if you think this brain-dead idea of yours is going to fly with me.”

Kat rolls her eyes at me, utterly unconcerned about my outburst.

“Once you’re able to think rationally, we can talk about it more. As long as you understand there are things I won’t tell you—for my sake and A.J.’s. I’m sorry about your diamond. I really am. But it is what it is.”

“Fuck the diamond,” I say with a grunt to the absurd woman as I get up from the chair to pace in front of the windows, trying to divine what’s the right thing to say to get her to see things my way. “Can’t you see that I can keep you safe?”

Kat shrugs again, maddeningly. “Perhaps. But perhaps not. I just can’t take the risk. I know you’re used to getting your way, but you’re just going to have to accept you can’t make me change my mind, regardless of how much you yell or try to bully me.”

Her calm, rational tone and choice of words break through the fiery red haze of my anger to find me. She’s right. I am acting like a bully, blundering my way through this situation. Stupidly, I am demanding her blind trust when I know that’s not how trust works.

Properly chastised, I make my way to the bed, sitting on the edge. “Kat, I—Fuck.” I sigh. “I’m an idiot, Kat.”

After a brief pause, I laugh humorlessly as I struggle to find the right words to tell her what’s on my mind.

“Are you waiting for me to disagree? Because you’ll be waiting for a long time,” she says. I smile, feeling more than a little relieved. If she’s joking around—even if at my expense—then I haven’t completely fucked up everything.

As I sit so close to her, on a bed of all places, I can’t help but stare at Kat—her face, her hair, her everything. Our gazes connect, and her posture softens a little. Unable to help myself, I lean closer.

“Kat, I shouldn’t have tried to push you to tell me more than you’re ready to share. I can’t stand bullies. I don’t want you to think of me as one. Believe me when I say that I know better than most that trust isn’t something one can demand from someone. It has to be freely given and fully earned. That’s a lesson I learned the hard way long ago.”

“What do you mean?”

I hesitate in answering. It’s such a painful story, and I couldn’t bear it if she looked at me with pity in her deep blue eyes. At the same time, how can I ask her to trust me with her most precious secrets if I’m not willing to share a small piece of my own?

“It’s a long story, like you said.” I chuckle. “One not worth reliving.”

“I doubt that,” she softly replies. Kat looks at me expectantly. Unlike me, she doesn’t push for more than I am able to give her at the moment. Maybe that’s why I decide to share some of it with her.

“Trust isn’t something that comes easily to me. Truth be told, I’m not sure I’ve ever fully trusted someone. Besides Maxim, that is. And even with him, I paid a steep price for that trust. He was my closest friend, my right-hand man. He was supposed to be a bridge between me and McGuire, helping me expand the bratva. You know how that turned out.” I laugh under my breath humorlessly. “Maxim betrayed me, even though we were the closest thing each other ever had to a family.”

“How’s that?”

Once again, it goes against my every instinct to answer her question. But if I want to protect her from her mysterious threat, then I need her to trust me enough to tell me all about it. She’ll never do that if I’m not willing to do the same.

“We found each other when we were so young. We practically grew up together.” I sigh. “His parents and mine weren’t in the picture at all. Mine kicked me out before I was old enough to shave, and Maxim was even younger when he was abandoned. We kept each other alive for years. He was my brother. Not by blood, but something else altogether—something much more powerful.”

“Oh, Nik.” Kat says, her eyes warm and full of compassion. She throws her arms around my neck before pressing her face against it.

“I don’t want your pity,” I say roughly, even as the feel of her body against mine warms me to the core of my being.

Kat shakes her head. “No, no. I don’t pity you at all. I could never pity you. No one should pity you. You survived horrors most people will never truly comprehend. You faced every adversity, rising to heights most only dream about. Pity is the last thing anyone should feel about you.”

I groan against her hair. “Kat…”

This woman…

If I don’t watch myself around her, she’s going to be the end of me.

“Listen to me now,” I say before she completely ruins me for good, “I’ve said all this to say that I know I’m not entitled to your trust and your secrets, even if it sometimes doesn’t seem like it. If I ever earn your trust and you decide to share them with me, I’ll help you with your problem, and I will make your bully pay for all the worry he’s caused you. You are under my protection, so use it.”

Kat nods against my neck, squeezing me tighter. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she says after a moment of silence.

“Promise me,” I insist.

“I promise. And I’ll go to McGuire’s party with you.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to go. We’ll find another way to get closer to him.”

---