Page 44 of Finish Line

He jumps up and disappears.

This whole thing is a mess. If I ever come face to face with Roger, I’m going to kill him for what he did to everyone. To have all these memories of shit that you did and how it hurt the person you love… I don’t know how they’re dealing with it. In their place, I don’t think I could handle it.

Mav returns and sits back down.

“You all right, babe?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. What am I going to do, Cam?” Mav sniffles.

“When she’s ready to talk to you, then tell her what happened. That’s all you can do.”

He nods and sighs. “How are you? It can’t be easy being with Shelby and not being able to touch her.”

I run a hand through my hair. “It’s not, but I’ll do whatever it takes to make her happy again. She isn’t avoiding me, at least. And every night when she has that nightmare, she grabs my hand and won’t let me leave. And if she wakes up before I leave and sees her hand in mine, she doesn’t freak out.”

I play with the brown carpet while I debate whether or not to say what I’ve been thinking. I think it would help Shelby. I run my hand down my face.

“You have your indecisive face on.” Mav has his head tilted. “Spill it.”

“I’ve been thinking… What if she initiates the touch? I can understand why someone touching her first and without her permission would upset her. But, if she’s the one who starts it, she might not freak out at being touched.” I bite my bottom lip.

Mav gives me one of his award-winning smiles. “That’s brilliant, Cam. It could work. You’ll have to talk to her and see if she’ll try.” Mav smiles gently. “You’re still giving her space, but if you want answers to things like this, you’ll have to start by being around her more.”

I sigh. “Every day, I see her sitting on the beach, staring out into nothing. Like she’s waiting for a wave to come along and sweep her away. It hurts.” I rub my hand along my chest, over my heart.

“I’m sure.” And I know what Mav will ask before he even opens his mouth. He asks the same thing every time. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come to wherever you are?”

“No, you need to say in school.”

Mav’s shoulders sink a bit as his hope of me saying yes is dashed again. “All right, go eat. I’m going to bed.”

“Bye.” I disconnect my computer.

When I get off the bed, I find Shelby standing in the doorway, causing me to jump. “I didn’t see you.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” She wrings her hands until they’re red. “Would you like to join me for dinner?”

I grin. “I would love to.”

We walk downstairs, and she has the table outside set up. The sun is just setting. It’s a pretty picture. I pull out her chair for her, looking up to see her hesitating.

“Sorry.” I step away and take my chair.

Shelby slides down into hers. She made chicken kebabs, sweet potatoes, and fruit salad.

“Looks good.”

We eat for a while in silence before she puts down her knife. “How are the guys?”

“They seem to be doing better. Mav said his headaches aren’t as bad, and he’s not getting sick anymore.” I look down at the plate. “How much did you hear?”

“Breaking the connection is hell.” She plays with her food. “I heard what Mav said about Maddy. The way they were turned, it could go either way.”

Her blue eyes get a far-off look in them, and a few minutes later, she’s back to playing with her food. She’s gained some weight, but she still isn’t eating enough.

“How have you been feeling?” I ask taking a bite.

“I’m not as sore, but my ribs still hurt.” She places her hand on her side. “Most of the bruises are gone, but the last ones are that yucky purplish yellow.”

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