Page 38 of Finish Line

I try to use a bit of humor to soften what I’m about to ask. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Still not looking at me, she steps back and to the side, letting go of the door handle that her hand was clenching around and keeping space between us.

I step in and close the door before I turn and look at her. Shelby has always carried herself with confidence. But now she hunches in on herself while she glares at her chipped-off toenails, tears glinting in her lashes.

She takes a deep breath and lifts her eyes to mine. Her beautiful blue eyes welling over with tears tracking down her cheeks guts me. Pure anguish and heartbreak are evident for all to see.

My body shifts a millimeter before I jerk myself to a stop. I want to hold her, but I’m unsure if she’ll welcome that yet. “What’s wrong, beautiful?”

“Evan told me you didn’t survive. He even showed me texts on his phone of him and his friends talking about it,” she sobs.

My heart breaks. If that asshole, Evan, wasn’t dead already, I would kill him myself.

I keep my hands relaxed at my sides—instead of the fist I want to make—to appear non-threatening. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry, but as you can see, I’m right here.”

God, this is so hard. Everything in me wants to wrap my arms around her and tell her nothing will ever hurt her again.

I take a deep breath, remembering everything Nick and Hannah said. I have to wait.

Turning from me, she heads back to the living room, and we sit down on the couch. She’s as far from me as physically possible without being on a different piece of furniture or in a separate room. She pulls her legs up on the couch and draws a blanket over herself.

“How long are you staying?” She sniffles and picks at her nails, not looking at me. They’re red and ragged, chewed down to the quick, and her cuticles are torn.

“Beautiful, I know you need your space, and I’ll give you as much as you need. You need to work out some stuff, and I understand that.” I wait for her to look at me.

When she doesn’t and continues to tear into her finger, I hold in the sigh of sadness. “But I need you to understand why I’m here now. When I woke up in the hospital and Nick told me you were still missing, it damn near broke me. When you refused to talk to me, it hurt so much, like you were ripping my heart to pieces. But I understood you needed time. Time to process everything that had happened.”

Her body shakes as she silently cries.

I fold my leg under me on the couch and place my hand on the back cushion, grabbing the couch as hard as I can. I hate that she’s crying, but I need her to listen.

“And then, when I found out you left, not telling anyone where you were going, I couldn’t do it anymore. Despite being surrounded by your family, I couldn’t let you feel alone any longer. I couldn’t let you believe no one understood or was listening to your needs. And, yes, I showed up here when you asked us not to. But I also heard what you didn’t say in your letter to everyone else. Shelby, I love you with my whole heart. My place is here in any capacity you’ll let me. If you want me to leave, I will. But I won’t go far. I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

Finally looking at me, the regret in her eyes is clouded by the tears she continues to shed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, Cam. You were the only one who believed in us.” She takes a deep breath.

I can see how bad she’s hurting, and I lean forward to pull her to me so I can comfort her. But my hand crosses some invisible line, and she cringes away from me.

“I’m sorry, beautiful.” My hand drops back to my side. “I can see how you’re hurting, and it’s taking everything in me not to wrap you in my arms so I can protect you and tell you you’re safe.”

“I guess they told you I’m flipping out about being touched right now?” She goes back to pick at those damn nails.

“Yes, they told me. I won’t touch you unless you tell me I can. No matter how hard it is. Will you let me stay?” I implore.

She bites her lip while contemplating my request, and in my head, I list the closest hotels near here and hold my breath until she answers.

Minutes go by before she gives me a half smile. “Let’s try it.”

My breath whooshes out of me. “Great. I better set up my room.” I groan exaggeratedly. “I forgot how tiring that flight is.”

I smile when she chuckles. “I guess you know where everything is?”

“Yep. I’ll take the first bedroom upstairs in case you need me.” I point upstairs.

She nods, staying where she is. “Good night, Cam.”

“Night.” I resist the urge to scoop her into a hug and blow her a kiss instead.

Moving past her slowly and with plenty of space, I walk up the stairs and drop my bag in my room. I take a deep breath. That was harder than I expected. Everything in me wants to hold her and whisper that everything will be okay.

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