Page 41 of Fought and Freed

Jace shifted to look down at Maddy. “I realize we’re far from this in our relationship, but with everything that’s happening, do you want kids?”

Her thoughts raced, and she took a moment to find a good way to answer that. She had been wondering the same thing when he came in. “Once a week, at the orphanage, they’d get us dressed in our best outfits and parade us in front of people looking to adopt.”

Maddy squeezed her eyes shut. “Most people only visited the front room where the babies were, like the rest of us didn’t matter. We all knew that, once we turned a certain age, there was little chance of you getting adopted.”

Maddy shook her head. “I always said, when I grew up, I’d adopt some older kids instead of having my own, but I never had parents to model after. I’m not sure if I’d be a good mother.”

Jace hugged her tightly against his body. “You’d make a great mother. Look at how you take care of us. Even a kid who had the worst upbringing can become the best mother. You know what to do and what not to do. You’re beautiful inside and out, Maddy.”

“So are you, Jace.” She hugged him back. “Do you want kids?”

“Yeah, baby girl, I want kids.” He twined a long strand of her hair around his finger. “I want one with red hair and eyes that remind me of spring when the leaves are at their greenest.”

Maddy lifted onto her elbow and kissed him. “I love you.”

He squeezed her tight against him. “I love you, too.”

Even in Jace’s hold, the restlessness got to her. She wiggled out of his embrace and sat up, scratching her arm.

Worry filled his eyes as Jace sat up, too. “You’re having cravings, aren’t you?”

Her head snapped toward him. “What? Why do you say that?”

“You’re doing exactly what Skylar used to do.” He put his hand over hers on her arm. “You’re scratching and haven’t stayed still the whole time we’ve been lying down. Your legs keep moving back and forth.”

Her bottom lip trembled as she nodded.

“Oh, baby, it’s all right.” He took her hands in his. “As you said, a lot has happened since you came home.”

She sniffled and pulled her hand from his to scratch her arm. “I shouldn’t feel like this after a month in rehab.”

He put his finger under her chin and lifted it until she looked into his chocolate eyes. “Maddy, baby girl, please stop scratching. You’re going to make yourself bleed.”

He took her hands again. “As for what you’re feeling, I’m pretty sure it’s normal. Many people still have cravings after rehab. A month may seem like a long time, but recovery takes longer.”

He pushed back the covers and pulled her from the bed. “Go run your arm under cold water. It will help. While you do that, I’ll go make you some chamomile tea. Try not to scratch. Just rub with your palms.”

As he left the room, Maddy headed into her bathroom to do as Jace suggested, running cold water over her arm and rubbing it with her palms.

She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

Her mind had been going a mile a minute since they came home. Finding out that Amber, the wicked witch of the south, was supposedly pregnant with Skylar’s baby was just too much.

Something Dr. Hayes had said to her during one of her treatment sessions came to mind. “It’s all right to say that something is too much. That you need help to deal with a situation.”

When she returned to bed, Jace was already waiting for her with the tea.

She smiled at him and accepted the cup. “Thank you.”

She took a sip before setting it on the nightstand. “I’m uh…I’m having a hard time with everything. The trip to California, school, and now Amber. I don’t know what to do or how to handle it.”

Jace ushered her into bed and sat beside her. “We don’t have to go to California. If you tell Lucca how you’re feeling, he’ll understand.”

Maddy knew he would, but this was something big for him. She wanted to be there. Not to mention that the guys were so excited. She used to be able to deal with a lot more than this.

“No, I want to go. I think time away would be good for me.” She took a deep breath. “I just need to compartmentalize and take it day by day.”

Jace nodded in acceptance. “If anything gets to be too much, tell us. Cody said you don’t enjoy shopping. We can take away tomorrow’s stress by ordering clothes online.”

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