Page 42 of Drifting

Since I’ve met Nick, he’s opened up to me and has shown nothing but kindness, unlike his sister, who’s done nothing but be rude.

“Sadly, I’m used to it.” His shoulders droop. “You’re not the only one counting down the days until you leave here. She scared off a girl I liked, and no other girl will dare try to date me. I don’t know what happened to Hannah. She wasn’t always like this.”

“You liked someone?” I lean back against my bed, getting comfortable.

He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Hannah won, and the girl left town. Hannah bullied her, and I didn’t believe it when she told me. I promised myself I wouldn’t let my sister do that to another person again.”

I place my hand on his leg. “I’m sorry Hannah did that to the girl you liked. What happened to make Hannah the way she is? I mean, from everything I’ve seen, you’re normal.”

Nick’s eyes drop to his hands, and he fiddles with the wrapper on his bottled water. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out.

“It’s all right, you don’t have to tell me,” I say in a light tone.

He closes his eyes. “We were driving home from somewhere--I don’t remember where, anymore. I was about five and Hannah was four. We were in our car seats in the back of the car. I brought my Matchbox cars with me and drove them over the back seat. Hannah, I guess, got mad and threw my favorite one on the floor where I couldn’t reach it. All day, she kept taking my things, and I finally retaliated, grabbed her favorite doll, and threw it on the muddy car floor. As you can imagine, she threw a fit and wouldn’t calm down. Mom unbuckled her seatbelt to get the toy for Hannah. I don’t know what exactly happened, Mom’s body blocked the view, but I remember flying forward and my seatbelt tightening, then the unforgiving sound of metal against metal.”

I know the sound he’s talking about; it still haunts my dreams.

“When I opened my eyes, Dad’s head was to the left, and blood was dripping down his face.” Tears shimmer in his eyes. “I couldn’t find Mom.”

I suck in my breath and cover my mouth. “Oh, my God, Nick. You saw what happened to your mother.”

He lets out a shaky breath, then goes back to peeling the paper off the water bottle.

“They said another car hit us. Mom went through the windshield like some invisible force pulled her right out the window. The look on her face…” He takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes with his palms. “They said she died instantly, her neck snapped. It’s all my fault. As the oldest, I should’ve…behaved better and not thrown Hannah’s doll on the floor.”

Has he ever told anyone he blames himself for the accident?

I scoot over to sit beside him. “Nick, I want you to listen to what I’m about to say. You were five years old, a child. The car accident wasn’t your fault. You didn’t make that car hit you. How were you to know what was going to happen?”

He rests his head back on the cushion of the couch. “Dad blames me, too. If I didn’t throw her doll, then Mom wouldn’t haven’t taken off her belt. At first, Dad didn’t do anything. If it wasn’t for Mrs. Mason, Luke’s mom, I don’t know what would have happened. She made all the arrangements for the funeral. Dad stayed in his office the whole time, drinking. Once things calmed down a little, Mrs. Mason suggested he hire someone to watch after us when he returned to work. A week later, an older lady, Mrs. Norris came to the house. She told us she’d be watching us during the day while our dad worked. Hannah didn’t like her at all. Mrs. Norris wouldn’t let Hannah get away with anything. She believed children should be seen and not heard. Hannah fought the old bitch at every turn.”

I sometimes don’t understand parents. I realize Peter needed to grieve for his wife, but he had two kids who just lost their mother and desperately needed their dad to comfort them.

“For some reason, Mrs. Norris took to me, and I clung to her like a life preserver. She taught me how to cook and do laundry, she also stressed how important school was. When she asked us to do chores around the house, I did them without question. Hannah refused to do anything she said. She sat on the couch and watched cartoons all day. When Mrs. Norris tried to get Hannah to do something, Hannah would yell at her, ‘You’re not my mother or my father, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to.’ Hannah’s always been strong-willed, but when Mom passed, Hannah went off the rails.

“She needed counseling, but Dad ignored it. Then, this strange lady came into our house and started ordering her around. Right before the accident, I met Luke and the guys. I started spending a lot more time with them, and I think that bothered Hannah. I got the help I needed by assisting Mrs. Norris and Clara. Hannah didn’t have anyone. I should have spent more time with her, then she wouldn’t be such a bitch.”

I scoff. “You don’t believe that, do you? The only person who could help Hannah is Hannah. She’s had plenty of chances to change over the years.”

“When Mrs. Norris left on Fridays, a black cloud would settle over our house. Dad spent all his time working and never had time for us. I spent a lot of time with Luke’s family on the weekends. I don’t think I would be here today if it weren’t for Mrs. Norris and Mrs. Mason,” Nick confesses with tears running down his face.

I hug him. I know how it feels to have an absent parent. At least, he had good people to fall back on. The world would miss someone like him.

He pats my back. “I’m okay.” He pulls away, unable to look at me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry like that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with crying, Nick. It doesn’t make you any less of a man.”

“I know.” He sniffs. “So, that’s my story. We better get to bed, it’s late. Tomorrow’s Monday. The first day of school.”

“Yay.” I ball my fist and shake my hand. “Thank you for reminding me.”

I help Nick clean up the best I can. “Hey, before you go, thanks for telling me about your mom. I’m here for you if you need to talk.”

“I know. The same goes for you. See you in the morning.” He shuts the door as he leaves.

I get ready for sleep, set my alarm, and crawl into bed. My mind keeps going over what Nick said tonight. Unfortunately, we both got stuck with parents who abandoned us in one way or another. We turned out so differently, though. He has such a gentle, caring soul where as I find it hard to trust anyone. Everyone has some kind of angle, except for maybe Nick.

I can’t help but wonder if I would have turned out differently if I had people to help me as Nick did.

---