Page 5 of The Professor's Surprise Baby

Yeah, the man I love. For better or for worse, I have to accept it because it’s the truth. I love Vance, and that’s why this whole situation is so maddening. I can’t tell him and it’s getting harder and harder to live with myself without telling him. I’m dying inside over deceiving him and it’s possible I could literally die if I do! I mean, I don’t think I’ll survive…

All right, I’ll admit that’s just dramatic. It is fair, though, for me to say that I won’t want to survive. All right? I mean, yeah, the big melodramatic I’ll die stuff is bullshit but I’ll tell you that it will hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt before.

“You ready?” He calls.

“I was born ready, Dr. French,” I say. You know, I love that I still call him that. “Come to the dining room,” he says.

I walk in and from a distance, I can see several drawings and paintings on the table. The closest one is nude. “I thought you gave up T-Angle,” I say as I step closer. Then, I gasp.

The nudes on the table aren’t erotic. They’re just nudes.

They’re me.

I was never poised for them. He painted and drew them from memory. There are also several pieces where I’m clothed. Portraits. Poses. The art on the table shows me in a great many different lights and every one of those pictures is powerful. There are probably three dozen or more. How does he do that? I mean, does the man sleep?

And there are pictures of me holding Savanna. There are pictures of me playing with her. There is only one picture of Savanna alone except I’m visible in shadow. The picture shows her sleeping with moonlight illuminating her face while the rest of the picture is dark and just a portion of my arm is visible beneath her.

I turn to look at him and breathe out, “Dr… Vance. These are…” I can’t finish.

I look back at the pictures and he says, “Kayla has a show booked in a few months. She wants them but I told her only if you permit me. I have a photo set she’ll show if you don’t want her to show these.

I throw my arms around him and start crying. The guilt is very strong but the good news is that under these circumstances, it’s easy for him to think I’m crying over the beauty of the piece. “And I want you to move in with me. Savanna, too.” He takes my hand and pulls me into the hallway while I’m wrapping my head around what he says.

When we stop, he says, “I set up a room for her because even if you don’t move in, she can use it for the nights when you two are here.” He opens the door and I stare at the most beautiful little girl’s room that has ever existed. From the beautifully painted walls with dancing circus animals to the princess bed to the colorful play area, it’s just perfect.

“She’s yours,” I breathe out, tears flowing.

“Is that yes?” he asks with a smile.

“No. No, Vance. She’s yours.” I turn to him ugly crying right on the edge. “She’s your baby. You’re the only man I’ve slept with since high school. Savanna is your daughter.” And then, the ugly crying starts. And I collapse. I mean that literally. I fall down and land on my hands and knees crying like crazy. I don’t know what to do or what to say but I know that the relief flowing through me is overwhelming and matched only by the terrible sense of shame and regret.

The fear of him leaving me doesn’t match those two. The fear of him leaving me is about a thousand times stronger than either. Too late to do anything about that, though, right?

I look up at him and he’s just smiling. “You didn’t… did you hear me?”

“Sweetheart,” he says, “I was pretty sure Savannah was mine the first time I met her and I twisted Kayla’s arm to tell me the truth the next day.”

“She told you?”

He shakes his head. “No. She just confirmed it.”

“But why… why didn’t you…”

He smiles and says, “Because I’ve loved you from the first night. Actually, I’ve probably loved you from before then. Maybe not your first time in one of my classes but I remember seeing you at a desk and my mind and heart filling with excitement and happiness. I knew you’d get around to telling me.”

“But… but… But what if…”

He lifts me to my feet and brushes tears from my cheeks. “Okay, hold on. I just said, ‘I love you,’ for the first time. You’re really going to let that float out there?”

“But… But I…” The fog in my brain is just debilitating but then the words kind of all fit together. He knew from the beginning. From the moment he saw Savannah he knew. He knew but he was letting me work out the process of telling him. He did that because he… because he… because he! “I love you too!” I cry.

He smiles broadly and says, “There she is.”

“I love you! I love you!” A moment later, my arms are around him and I’m crying again, this time for good reasons.

Chapter Six

Three Years Later

---