Page 93 of Cursed Bonds: An Alpha's Destiny

Jace was angry now, maybe even heartbroken, but soon he’d get over me. With time, he’d understand that the two of us would never have worked out. Not in a hundred years, and not in a thousand. There was too much holding us apart, making a life together an impossibility. When that time came and he could see the truth, he’d thank me for saving this cure. For giving him a true way out. It would all be okay once he made peace with the fact that fate had been wrong.

Chapter 28

Jace

I skidded to a halt in the forest, turning in a circle, anger and a savage disappointment making it hard to concentrate. Out of frustration, I threw my head back and let out a mournful howl at the moon. The milky crescent looked almost like a blade. A knife arcing down to finish the job of tearing out my heart.

My wolf whined and gnashed his teeth, more in response to my own feelings than the heartache he was experiencing. Pawing at the ground and tearing at the grass with my teeth, I thrashed about, trying to work out my pain with a wolfish tantrum. It was too much to handle, too much to fathom. I’d lost my mate. Those words, like boiling hot oil, poured down my throat, seared my soul, tore at my mind, and made everything awful. The wind rustling my fur? I wanted to rip it apart with my teeth. The sound of bugs chirping in the evening? I wanted to crush all those little bodies under my paws. And that damn moon? I wished I could yank it from the sky and dash it to pieces like a porcelain plate.

Another angry howl burst from my throat before I took off again. Pushing my body as hard as possible, I surged forward, paws hissing over the grass and moss of the forest, bobbing and weaving between trees at breakneck speed. Faster, faster, faster. Part of me hoped my heart would explode, or maybe I would take a wrong step and accidentally bash my brains out on a tree trunk. Both options were better than what I was living with now. So much pain and sadness. I’d thought nothing could be worse than losing my parents, but I was wrong. That, at least, had been an accident. Bad luck and nothing more. This? I played out a million ways I could have done something different. This was my own doing, not like with my parents. There was no one to blame but myself. Even I couldn’t twist logic enough to say fate had something to do with how things had turned out.

No. It was all on me. It was an agonizing torture to endure as I ran back home.

I arrived, safe and sound, back at my home. Shifting back, I collapsed to my knees, gasping for breath, sweat dripping from my nose to the dirt between my hands. Sitting like that, I looked up at the sky. Stars twinkled like gems in the inky, black velvet sky. A perfect summer night. All the while, my life was a disaster.

Late the next morning, I sat on my porch, nursing a beer, when Shayna pulled up in her Jeep. Raising the bottle as a greeting, I didn’t rise from the chair.

“How are you doing, big brother?”

“How the hell do you think I’m doing?”

She raised her eyebrows and climbed the steps. “You’re pleasant this morning.”

“What’s that?” I asked, nodding toward the small box she carried in her hands.

“This,” she said, as she took a seat on a rocking chair opposite me, “is a little parting gift from your lovely lady witch.”

I stared at the box in suspicion. Shayna opened the container, revealing another vial of purple liquid tucked between wads of tissues.

“Don’t destroy this one,” she said.

Seeing the potion set me off again. Kirsten had made a second one? All to be totally sure she could end things before they ever began? She’d been very thorough, apparently.

“Give me that shit,” I hissed.

I lunged forward, but my reflexes weren’t what they should have been, and Shayna pulled the box back before I could grab it from her.

“Are you a fucking idiot?” she barked at me, glaring into my face, while putting the lid back on the box. “Like, how dumb are you?”

“I’m not in the mood, Shayna,” I said, shaking my head. “Let me stomp on that damned thing. I want to be rid of it, now and forever.”

“You know what? I don’t give a shit if you’re in the mood or not. You are gonna hear me out. Understood?”

She stood there, one hand holding the box, the other a fist jammed into her side. She was angry at me for something, God only knew what. It seemed like everyone was pissed at me. That was funny, since no one could be as mad at me as I was at myself. They could be pissy with me, glare at me, tell me I was a dumbass, but nothing could compare to how I felt about myself right now.

Finally, I took another swig of my beer and waved at her to go on. Let her say what she had come to say, then I could get back to feeling sorry for myself.

“Did you even ask Kirsten why she made this potion?” Shayna asked.

“Why the hell should I? It’s obvious. She never believed in what we had. She made a back door. A way out. Simple as that.”

“Holy shit, you are, like, such a man!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I tossed my empty bottle to the side. It hit with a thunk and rolled across the porch, coming to rest under another rocking chair.

“I mean, she didn’t create this potion as a way out. Not really. She made it to give to you so that you could choose your own mate. She never wanted you if it was all because some curse was dragging you two together like a couple of magnets.” Shayna sighed. “Think about it, Jace. If you were in her place, would you want to be with someone who was only there because a spell brought you together? Or would you want that person to choose you? To look at you, see you, and say, ‘Yeah, that’s the one I want?’”

Her words drilled through the alcoholic haze that had drifted over my mind. Like pins in a lock, my thoughts snapped into place. A sudden and surreal realization came to me. She was right. If Kirsten had come sniffing around, infatuated with me, but all of it had been nothing but a spell, could I have truly believed her? As much as I cared for her, I’d still want her to be free to choose me willingly. Outside magic, outside curses, outside everything, I’d want her to want me. And she’d wanted the same from me.

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