Page 132 of XOXO

“You tell him you were lying. You tell him you were upset because Dekker didn’t want you. I don’t fucking care. You are my sister. A few misunderstandings between us shouldn’t mean that I lose the love of my life.” Dani and Dalia are standing in the parking lot. Dalia looks tired and like she wants to be anywhere but here. Her eyes are pleading with her sister, but Danika is single-minded. She wants what she wants. And even though this is exactly the type of shit Dalia said she did, Danika doesn’t see what she is doing as fucked up.

“Dani…” Dalia says, looking down at the ground. “Let's not do this. Let’s…. let’s just.” She lets out a resigned sigh. “You said you needed me to talk to him. I’ll do that, but I will not lie. I know you didn’t mean for any of that shit to happen, but you didn’t…” She cuts herself off. She looks up and her eyes connect with mine. And for a minute, I see the girl she hides away. As quickly as she’s there, she’s gone–cold indifference takes over, and she looks away.

“Dalia, this isn’t on you. You weren’t in the wrong. You’re allowed to feel how you do. Dani, this…” Nitro waved his hand around to the growing crowd. “This isn’t the time. I told you we could talk after your appointment tomorrow. You… manipulating her to get her here, to talk to me…” He shakes his head. “This… tonight wasn’t the time for this and a shitty thing for you to do.” Shaking his head, Nitro walks to his bike, gets on, and takes off without looking back.

Danika’s tears flow freely as she watches him go. I see the indecision in Dalia’s eyes. She wants to leave, but she also wants to comfort her sister. I decide for her. With a nod to Gabriella, who made her way out here at some point, she goes to Danika and pulls her into her arms, ushering her towards the clubhouse, and I make my way to Dalia and try to do the same. She is rooted in place, watching her sister go. I wrap my arm around her and her body stiffens. She looks up from the corner of her eye with wariness. And I want to punch myself in the dick for making her feel the way she does.

Pulling her closer to my side. “Me and you are going to talk.” She says nothing, letting out a long breath. Her body relaxes as I steer her into the clubhouse.

Chapter Eleven

DEKKER

“When I fuck up, I fuck up.”

Once we get to my room, I close the door behind us. Her eyes take in the space, which isn’t much. But what I have is me. Shifting from her side to her front, I wrap my arms around her. It shocks me in a good way when she leans into me and buries her face in my chest. When she releases a shuddering breath, I squeeze her closer to me, feeling her, having her in my arms. My body hums with the rightness of this moment. The beat of my heart slows as I inhale her soft scent of honeysuckle and coconut. There’s so much I want to say to her. So much I need her to know.

“I’m…” Releasing a breath. “I’m sorry, Dalia,” My voice is filled with emotions I’m not used to showing.

My arms tighten around her when her body stiffens. She didn’t look up at me, but her breath hitched. My chin goes to the top of her head, and my hands itch to run through the coils of her hair and lift her eyes to mine. The urge is overwhelming. I need her eyes on me. Walking backward with her in my arms, I sit on the edge of my bed and adjust her to sit on my lap. She doesn’t resist, but her body remains tight. Her hands go to her lap, and I want to curse not just myself but everyone who has ever made her feel the way she does at this moment. Dalia looks like she is barely holding it together. It breaks my heart to know I’m a part of why she feels the way she does.

My hand goes to her chin, pulling it to look into her eyes. “You are so damn strong.” Leaning forward to rest, my forehead rests against hers as I breathe her in. Her scent calms me in a way nothing else ever has. “When my brothers first told me about you.” She shifts in my lap, and I have to hold in a groan, hoping she doesn’t feel how her closeness is getting to me because right now isn’t the time for my wayward dick to get any ideas. My arms tighten around her because I know she will not want to hear my following words. “When they told me about you. I heard all the rumors, and with my past…” I let out a long breath. “With everything I was dealing with… I’ll admit, I wanted nothing to do with you.” She pulls away, eyes boring into mine. Her look is filled with conflict, insecurity, and hurt. Shaking my head because this shit is coming out all wrong.

“Stop and listen to me.” Moments pass before she calms enough so I can continue.

“After being hounded by Nitro, Danika, and a few others. I finally agreed. Yes, Nitro gave me money for the date, but … he didn’t pay me to take you out. That was a fucked up thing for me to say, and I’m sorry for being such a dick. I just… Fuck woman, you had me all twisted and shit. I wasn’t expecting you. I wasn’t expecting to like you or to want more of you. I’m a guy. I’m a dick. I don’t think before I open my mouth and sometimes have my head up my ass before I even know it.” I smile at her, and she chuckles to herself.

Shifting her onto the bed, I stand; she says nothing as I pace in front of her while she sits perched on the edge of my bed.

“For the first time in my life, I felt the shit I heard about. And I didn’t know what to do about it. You weren’t supposed to be…you,” I stop standing before her and point to her. She raises a brow at me, and she looks confused.

“What the hell does that mean, Dekker? All I can be is me.” She says.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t supposed to like you. I didn’t want to like you. I wasn’t supposed to want you. I didn't want you. But I fucking do, fuck's sake, woman, all I want or have been thinking about since the date is you.”

My knees hit the hardwood floor at her feet and I sit back on my hunches in front of her. My hands go to hers, and my eyes are focused only on hers.

“You were unexpected, yeah. But never unwanted. I needed to get my shit together. I didn’t want my past to fuck with my future. And me being an idiot, I thought the best way to deal with shit was to ignore what I felt for you until I handled my shit. I stupidly thought I couldn’t have you. And then shit blew up in my face. And now you're pissed at me; my brother and his woman are on the outs and fuck.” I lean forward, my forehead going to hers.

“Yeah, you did well and truly fucked up. The shit you said to me was very dickish of you.” Letting out a long breath, she looked at me with a smile. “But listen, the shit between my sister and I wasn’t isn’t your fault. That shit has been brewing for a long time. Danika is who she is; she’s lived a sheltered and oblivious life. Partially, it’s my fault because I let her. So, I don’t blame her. I’m who I am because of my experiences. It pissed me off that after an amazing date, you ghosted me, but I’m not the type to go chasing a man. You may be hot as fuck, and I may have, for the first time in a long time, wanted to see where things could go, but…” Her worlds trail off.

“You shouldn’t have to. You are an amazing woman, Dalia. Right here, right now, even though I was a complete and utter dick to you. I’m saying that I’m sorry and that I want to try with you. I want to see where things go because I’ve never felt about anyone like I do about you. I have been fucking sick to my stomach with the thought of my actions and words hurting you, and I promise that from this day forward, I will do everything in my power to not be like every other dickhead you’ve allowed in your life.”

Leaning in, I take her lips. Fuck, if I wasn’t already on my knees for her. This kiss would put me there. We may still have shit to work out, but to have her here right now, letting me take her in, I know this is the beginning.

Chapter Twelve

DALIA

“When he fucks up, he fixed it.”

Danika tricking me into coming to the clubhouse to plead her case with Nitro is the only reason Dekker and I could have our little heart-to-heart. It’s been a few weeks, and I’m still not all that comfortable at the clubhouse, but it’s getting better. Nitro and my sister are working through whatever it is they need to work through, and I’m staying the hell out of it. For the first time in my life, I will not fix shit for Danika. She needs to see that she can’t keep shoving her head in the sand, and she can’t keep dogging me out to make herself look and feel better. She is getting there.

Tonight, Dekker’s taking me out for a do-over. According to him, tonight will be what the date wasn’t. I don’t know what the hell that means, but I’m not going with it. Dekker isn’t what I expected. I’ve always put men, especially alpha men, in two categories, men who try too hard not to be assholes and the asshole pops out. And assholes are trying too hard to be assholes and aren’t, because when they meet an asshole, they become pussies. Dekker is neither, although I thought he was the former initially. He surprised me with the man he is. Dekker sees me, which is why I’ve been so willing to forgive him.

Walking out of the restaurant, everything is different. I feel different. Dekker pulls me to the side, and I smile, knowing this big hunk of man is mine. Pulling me toward his bike. He helps me climb on; the ride to his place has been exciting. Tonight, I’m making him mine in all ways. Dekker has been a gentleman, which is horseshit. But I’ve let him play his games; the little touches and searing kisses that have left me wanting to climb him like a tree have all been building up to this.

Pulling into his driveway, I wait for him to put the kickstand down before I get off his bike. My body vibrates with excitement. I have been to Dekker’s many times, so when I get to the front door and put in the code, I am on the move before he can say a damn word. I’m done waiting for the time to be right.

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