Page 71 of XOXO

I can sense she's over the praise, though. "So!" she says brightly. "Have you been practicing for the bread challenge?"

Like many other baking shows, Mental Bakedown has two phases (or challenges) each week: bread and dessert. In the event of a dead tie, we may have to do a technical baking challenge, but this is one of those pesky details I've pretended didn't exist. In terms of my mental list of things I'm worried about, knowledge of a maybe technical bake exists somewhere between getting a new IUD in three months and the growing stack of bills on the counter.

"Oh, I've obsessively prepped for all of it," I admit. What can I say? It's a perk of working minimum wage and living with my mother. "I've been dreaming about dough for weeks. You?"

"Ugh, same! I've probably made enough loaves to feed an entire village by now. My three boys are in high school. By now, even their hockey team is tired of getting my practice batches." She shudders, but my jaw is on the floor. I had no idea she had kids — much less three teenagers! She doesn't look a day older than me.

Dammit. Danielle really is one of those people who just bounces through life with the grace of a fairy, isn't she? A baking fairy, I think, my mind spinning. A baking fairy with more Instagram followers than half the world's leaders combined...

"How about the cake challenge?" she asks, oblivious to my awe. "What do you have planned for the first one?"

I surprise myself by recovering enough to reply. "Chocolate mousse cake! With raspberry coulis. It's one of my signatures. What about you?"

She heaves a dreamy sigh. "Well, that sounds simply heavenly! I'm not planning on chocolate until next week, assuming I make it."

"I think that's a fairly safe assumption," I point out, but she waves this off.

“Nah-uh.” She wags her finger. "No assumptions from me! That's how you lose in this challenge — getting a big head! You're just as likely to win as me, dear!"

I have a hard time believing that, but keep my mouth shut. "Anyway, what do you have planned for this week?"

She bounces with excitement as the rest of the contestants filter in around us. "A black sesame tart with yuzu curd! It's a more unique flavor than I've seen on the show before, so fingers crossed it turns out okay!"

"Ooh, I remember yuzu from culinary school!" My mouth waters at the memory. Yuzu are an East Asian citrus fruit with a taste somewhere between a lemon, an orange, and a grapefruit. They're extremely hard to source in the mainland US. "We only used them in savory dishes, but in a tart? From you?" I let out a low whistle. It's hard to imagine anything more delicious.

"Hey!" Her dark brown eyes light up. "Let's make a deal. If it's possible, I'll save a slice of mine for you, and you can save a slice of yours for me. Okay?"

"Count on it!"

I don't know the exact rules of this game, but I hope we're allowed to keep what the judges don't try. It would be a waste otherwise, right?

I'm about to ask as much when a familiar voice bellows, "CONTESTANTS! Welcome!"

Shit. We all recognize it.

A hush falls across the soundstage as contestants leap to the closest empty workstation. I'm lucky to find the one behind Danielle. She shoots me a wink over her shoulder as Charles, show producer, steps into the spotlight. His bald head is almost blinding. Wow... I didn't expect him to be so bald in person. Is that a mean thing to think?

"It's so nice to see you all in person!" Charles enthuses, clasping his hands together. Like the rest of the crew, he's clad only in black from head to toe. I recognize his black non-skid sneakers from kitchen-grade ones I've worn before. "Welcome to Mental Bakedown, where one of you will rise above the rest and claim the grand prize!"

There's a smattering of polite groans; I, for one, am delighted. There are few things in life more enjoyable than a good pun.

"Before we get the cameras rolling, I wanted to introduce the key players for the first event. Now, if I may, allow me to introduce your host, Joel Morales!" Charles gestures to his left as a handsome man with dark hair and a charming smile steps onto the stage.

"Glad to be here," Joel says, offering a perfunctory nod. Ah... I do recognize him. He's been a judge on a few baking shows, including I'm a Celebrity, Bake Me Out of Here. He offers us a few kind words of encouragement before turning back to Charles with a nod.

It's funny; before I knew much about the ins and outs of how these shows work, I assumed the host was in charge. Now I know better. The producer coordinates everything — everything — and lets no one forget it.

"Excellent!" Charles booms, proving my point. "Joel will be with us for the duration of the competition, but we'll have two celebrity panelists who rotate, depending on their availability. For today, I'd like you to all welcome celebrated pastry chef Rick Dahl!"

Rick, a tall man with a head of gray hair, strides onto the stage to scattered applause. He says nothing, which is exactly what I'd do in his situation.

"Rick is a man of few words!" Charles jokes, elbowing him in the ribs. Rick remains unmoved. My lips twitch; I'm liking this dude more and more.

Charles clears his throat and turns back to us. "Anyway. Last but certainly not least, here is today's final celebrity judge! Ladies and gents, please welcome world-famous pastry chef Miles Compton!"

What.

WHAT.

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